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Richard Dawson: Name the first article of clothing you take off when you get home from work.

Contestant: My underwear!

[Audience busts out laughing]

Richard Dawson: Next question, what time do you get off work?

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Contestant: [trying to solve the puzzle] A group of pill-pushers? (Whole studio cracks up)

Pat Sajak: This is "Wheel of Fortune", Joe!

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Gene Rayburn: Doesn't she have pretty nipples... uh, pretty DIMPLES?

[Whole studio busts out laughing]

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Richard Dawson: I said name a time that most people get up. And being the Einstein that you are, you said morning. Our survey said... zip! Now if that wasn't bad enough, I then said name a time that most people go to bed, and you said, of course. Night. Our survey said... 2!

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Richard Dawson: Name something you might accidentally leave on all night.

Contestant: Your shoes.

[audience laughs]

Richard Dawson: I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Kenneth, but you are weird.

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Richard Dawson: Name an animal that has letters in its name.

Contestant: Alligator.

[audience starts laughing]

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Richard Dawson: During what month's pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant?

Contestant: September.

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Bob Holness: What "O" is the generic word for any living animal plant, including bacteria and viruses?

Contestant: Orgasm. Oh-!

[audience laughter; Bob Holness looks at the camera with a shake of the head]

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Gene Rayburn: [interviewing an aged female contestant] Tell us about yourself.

Contestant: I live in Orange County... I'm retard- I mean, retired...

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[Question is "Which of these abbreviations represents the computer storage capacity known as one thousand bytes?"]

Contestant: I'm gonna go with B, kilobytes.

Regis Philbin: Final answer?

Contestant: Final answer.

[Answer is locked in]

Contestant: [blurting] I'm a fat man, Regis, my heart can't take it!

[audience laughter]

Regis Philbin: I'm just trying to help you sweat off a few pounds.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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