George of the Jungle 2 (2003 Video)
Narrator: Huh? Wait a minute! Who the heck are you?
George: Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser.
George Jr: Ha ha ha. Let's go, dad!
Narrator: How did you get the part?
George: New George just lucky, I guess.
[George crashes into tree]
Narrator: And in case you were worried, the new George takes a tree as well as Brendan Fraser.
George: George realize that in order to save tree house, Bukuvu, and entire jungle lifestyle, George now have to hit women. But, in name of sportsmanship, George give woman fighting chance.
[Kowalski kicks him in the crotch]
George: Note to George. Rethink sportsmanship.
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the jungle, George was taking care of some serious jungle business.
Ursula: George, the sink's stuffed again!
Narrator: Well, kind of serious.
George: Don't worry. George fix.
[they go in front of each other, but George moves her to side]
[continues searching and finds problem]
George: Hey, come here.
[George pulls on snake, but it is stuck in sink. He strains and finally pulls the whole sink out]
[looks up at George scoldingly]
Ursula: [George smiles sheepishly]
Ursula: [trips on plate] Woah!
Tookie: Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie! Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie!
Ursula: George, you better answer the bird.
Narrator: Now that the prince is turning five, George is grooming his son to be the heir to the throne.
[George is picking at Junior's hair]
Narrator: Uh... George, that's grooming him to be heir, not grooming his hair.
Narrator: With Shep down for the count, George felt the need to rally his troops.
George: Don't worry! George not know meaning of defeat! George not know meaning of most words. But especially defeat! And George will stand here just as long as George's name is...
[George gets conked in the head by two coconuts]
Ape: I'm happy to see you too. What are you doing here?
George: George here to help. Tookie say Ape in trouble. Broke. Busted. No Benjamins.
Ape: Broke? It's all a big misunderstanding. I'm perfectly fine. That's why I'm... giving away all my furniture.
George: George happy Ape perfectly fine. Only wish George perfectly fine.
Ape: What's the matter?
George: Ursula think George spend too much time with animals. Animals think George spend too much time with Ursula. George so upset, think about taking off neck crown.
Lyle: I haven't been this disappointed since the sixth grade, when my sister stole my Shaun Cassidy lunchbox.
George: George confused.
Lyle: Shaun Cassidy was a popular TV character in the late 70s, along with Parker Stevenson. I followed both their careers, actually.
George: George not confused about Shaun Cassidy, George confused about unhypnotizing.
Narrator: Meanwhile, that dastardly duo of damsels, Sally and Kowalski, were searching every nook and cranny.
[Women search old woman]
Narrator: That's cranny, not granny!
Narrator: As George gleefully greeted his performing pals. Ursula wondered if she'd ever come first.
Ursula: [to herself] I wonder if I'll ever come first.
George: Sorry George late, but George had important royal duty to tend to.
Ursula: In other words, you were playing coconut ball.
George: And George score winning goal. Maybe sometime Ursula come out and try for cheerleader.
Ursula: I tried once, but the gorillas turned me down because I wasn't pretty enough.
[George kisses Ursula]
George: You look pretty to me.
Ursula: Well, maybe you should tell that to the gorillas.
George: George promise - tonight, spend whole night with Ursula. Okay?
Ape: George, I should've told you earlier, but I have some gambling debts that I have to pay off for a little while.
George: How little?
Ape: Seventeen years.
George: George think maybe that might be too late.
George: Can George give Junior vine swinging lesson before we eat?
George Jr: Vine swinging's a little dangerous
George: [looks at Ursula] Must be from your side of family
George Jr: Vine surfing is much cooler.
George: What dangerous about swinging? Swinging fun. George show you.
Ursula: Honey, maybe that's not such a good idea.
George: Why? It easy.
George: If George come home early, would Ursula still go out with George?
[Ursula smiles and nods]
George: George: Good.
[turns and head hits hanging ornament]
George: George lucky man. He's got Ursula, and Junior...
[coconut falls on George's head]
George: ...and really strong head.
Ursula: Honey, I wouldn't worry about Junior swinging. He's the son of the greatest swinger of all time. How could he not learn how to swing?
George: That make George happy.
George: George so sorry George late. But zug zug treaty broke down and George had to step in.
[sniffs and wipes poop off foot]
George Jr: P.U.
George: George also make present.
George Jr: Cool. Thanks, dad.
George Jr: Woah, cool! A spear!
Narrator: Feeling dazed and confused, or more dazed and confused than normal, George sought professional help.
George: [Tookie language] Meekee kyukkya.
Tookie: Aah... Tookie Tookie!
[talking in unintelligible Tookie language and Tookie bangs head against pole]
Tookie: [angry] Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie!
George: [abruptly stops] George know Tookie trying, but need talk to brother Ape. Maybe Tookie fly to get brother ape?
[pulls postcard from loincloth]
George: Aak aak eek eek Tookie Tookie?
George: [sighs] Then George just talk more.
Tookie: [flies out] Aak! Tookie Tookie!
[George wiping sink with asparagus]
Ursula: Honey? What's the matter
[Sits on asparagus]
Ursula: Good morning, mother. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't play with George's mind.
Beatrice: Well, there isn't really much to play with, but all right.
Narrator: Anxious to see his bankrubt bretheren Ape, but not wanting to stand out like a simian from the sticks, George made a stop.
George: New George look pretty good in armani too.
Narrator: Ferklempt at finally finding each other again, George and his brother Ape had a big, emotional reunion.
Narrator: Oh, come on, you can do better than that.
[George and Ape hug and roll around on floor, hooting and laughing]
Ape: Get her a nice present to help scratch it.
Ursula: A backscratcher.
George: To help with itch.
Sally: The old witch says the muscleman keeps the deed in his underwear.
Lyle: That's disgusting.
Kowalski: Yeah, but at least it'll be easy to find.
[Opens closet and finds tons of loincloths]
Lyle: [gets passed some] These look familiar.
[gets passed more]
Lyle: Obviously he was planning to stay for a while.
[gets passed more]
Lyle: You would think at some point, Ursula would recommend a zebra pattern.
Ape: George, this is Rocky. He's very honored to meet you.
Ursula: Why do they call him Rocky?
[bell dings and Rocky punches George's face]
Ape: Because when he gets nervous, he does that.
George: [in between blows] George... honored... to... meet... Rocky... too.
Narrator: Lyle and the women were still searching our simple simian's shorts.
Sally: What now? It'll take us years to go throught the rest of these.
Narrator: And it would have too, had the precise, practical, pragmatic Ursula not labeled them.
Lyle: [searches one] Ooh-ooh feathers.
Lyle: Hyena burger.
[searches a third one]
Lyle: Wait a second. Deed.
Beatrice: You remember my son-in-law, George.
Lyle: I do. George, clearly the best man won, but no hard feelings. Shake?
[George shakes whole body]
Ursula: What are you doing here? I mean, last time we saw you, you tried to have George killed, Ape captured, and dragged me off to marry you.
Lyle: That actually wasn't me, kitten. That was the altitude sickness.
Betsy: Hey, don't hog the Choco-Blast.
Ursula: I'll give you the Choco-Blast if Courtney gives up the Funky Monkey.
Courtney: I'd have thought you'd seen enough funky monkeys.
Ursula: I've missed you guys.
Betsy: And we've missed you.
Tiffany: Speaking of things you've missed, you know who's looking amazing? Lyle.
Courtney: You're right. He's such a catch. He's charming, rich, sensitive...
Tiffany: ...and is equally at home with small animals and children.
Ursula: [sees them reading off poster behind them] Are you reading that?
[Beatrice runs off with poster]
[Beatrice's phone rings]
Beatrice: Hello? Hello?
George: [holding phone wrong way] Hello?
Beatrice: Turn the phone around, you idiot.
[Light shines on George, Ape, and Rocky]
Kowalski: Going somewhere?
Ape: Who are you? Xena, Princess of Vegas?
Sally: We'll see how funny you are when you're stuck in our special cage at the Van de Groot Zoo. In case you've forgotten, you still owe us 17 years of employment.
Kowalski: Get moving.
Narrator: So, with his devoted son and dormant wife, George headed back to his homeland. After getting a tip from Brendan Fraser, who was cramped during the first picture, this time he made sure to get a bigger crate.
George Jr: Dad? I'm afraid. What're we gonna do about mom?
George: [sighs] George not know. But Ursula not recognize George even before George level her. What Ape think?
Ape: Either we should check the crate for pods, or she's in some sort of hypnotic trance. She doesn't know who you are.
[Tookie bumps George under hammock, who pops up with net on head]
George: Eh? Tookie!
Tookie: [exhausted] Aah aah eee eee Tookie Tookie.
George: Ape can't come talk to George cause broke? In big trouble? George must go Vegas to help!
Narrator: Unaware of the threat both home and abroad, George and his extended jungle family took off on their first trip.
George Jr: Look, look!
George: Ooh. Las Vegas.
Ape: I understand your concern, and if I return... uh, when I return, I will coordinate your schedule to the satisfaction of everyone. It's just a question of balance.
George: George good at balance. See?
[stands on one foot and trips over man carrying big box]
George: George still worried about Ursula. She's lonely and she worried she not cook or clean as well as Ape.
Ape: Well, she might have a point there
Narrator: Lyle was celebrating getting the deed in a typically mature fashion.
Lyle: [singing] I have the deed, I have the deed, this is the deed I have, I have the deed...
[Beatrice trips him]
Beatrice: We're dead meat.
Lyle: I thought I was making progress.
Beatrice: That ape has a better chance of running off with her than you do.
Lyle: He does? Where have you heard?
Betsy: [to Ursula] You belong back here. Soon your whole identity is going to get swallowed up by George and the Ursula we know and love is gonna disappear.
Beatrice: And you deserve a husband who'd rather spend time with you than a gorilla.
Ape: [while surrounded on roof] I'm sorry, old chum. We did everything we could.
[George looks around and sees rope ladder dropping from airplane]
George: Aah! George have idea.
[Ursula sees muted picture of Ape on TV]
Ursula: There's something about that ape that feels really familiar.
Beatrice: It's King Kong.
Ursula: I thought King Kong was in black and white.
Beatrice: Would you believe Hollywood? They colorized it.
Ursula: I can't help feeling that something's missing. That somewhere, out there, something's waiting for me.
[George swings in and Ursula falls off bed]
George: Sorry to surprise Ursula, but George can't take living without Ursula. George madly in love.
Ursula: Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm married. Unfortunately.
George: Right. George Ursula's husband.
George: Ursula more confused than George. But no time to talk, Bukuvu in trouble. Must get back. George put Ursula first, then jungle, hmm?
Ursula: Listen, I've never heard of the Bukuvu and Lyle's my husband. Thought I have to admit you are quite attractive, and have these sinewy arms of a god! But I'm one of those old-fashioned types and I take my marriage vows very seriously.
Betsy: Then can I have him?
George: Sorry. George love Ursula more than anything in the world. Ursula mean everything to George.
Betsy: Do you have any brothers at home?
[George turns and knocks Ursula out]
George: Have brother Ape.
Betsy: Ooh, an ape.
Narrator: See if you can spot our discreet product placement.
[Shep is wearing sneakers]
George: That's my Shep. Yes, that's my Shep.
Ursula: Oh, the elephant's wearing New Balance.
Ape: I tell you George, it's good to be home.
George: Maybe Tookie wrong, and Mean Lion not king. Jungle not look different.
Narrator: Not different? Look at the signs, George! The signs! But George missed the signs, signs even an illiterate warthog would have noticed.
Narrator: And they would've had their big, bonecrushing fight for the kingdom, had it not been for the secret trick Ape taught him when they were kids.
George Jr: The ear, George!
[George pulls lion's ear and lion falls]
George Jr: Woah, cool.
Ape: There, see?
George: [sighs] George wish life always this easy.
George: Who's with George?
Tiger: Why should we follow you, you care more about your family than us.
George: Sure George care about family. Even half of family sleeping through best part of movie.
George: But you've always been George's brothers and sisters, don't you remember?
[motions to monkey]
George: We took first steps together.
[motions to buffalo]
George: And you taught me how to swim.
[motions to ape]
George: And you were with me first time we read Playape magazine.
George: Okay. George try something completely different. We few. We happy few. We band of brothers. For he today who sheds his fur with George shall be George's brother. And other animals in the jungle shall think themselves acursed they were not here. And when we get old, ye will remember with great pride what feats ye did today. Land all we have, George king, and king ask animals to join him and save homeland!
Narrator: Feeling more alone than Sigfried without Roy, our dauntless daring defiant jungle gunslinger went out to save the Bukuvu.
[George and dozers advance on each other]
Narrator: But soon his friends joined him. Like the Magnificent Seven, if they hadn't been magnificent. And they consisted of a dim-witted king, an elephant who thought he was a dog, an ape, a bird, a little monkey, and a kangaroo. They marched, flew, and hopped out to meet the enemy.
Tookie: Tookie Tookie!
Narrator: And just between you and me, it didn't look good.
Narrator: But, luckily for George, after a delayed reaction to his insouciant iambic pentameter, the jungle's other vacillating varmits joined the fight with their potent potentate. For those of you without a thesaurus, that's: After a delayed reaction to his speech, the other animals joined the bruhaha with their king.
Narrator: George realized that the only way to win was to fight fire with... coconuts?
Narrator: George still had one more official duty.
Narrator: Helping Ursula bring her friends out of their hypnotic trance.
Courtney: Ooh, George.
[Betsy pulls him close]
Betsy: [while kissing] But I still don't recognize him. Stan? Stan? Is that you? Hey, Stan?
George: George not hit women, so appreciate it if women not hit George.
[Sally smiles and punches his face, then punches him again, where he is dangling over the side of the bulldozer, and his head keeps coming in contact with over 20 trees]
Narrator: Imagining the steel of the deleterious dozers separating his upper half from his lower, George led his troops in a slow and orderly retreat.
[George panics and runs away]
Lyle: [over phone to Beatrice, about deed] Turns out your idiot son-in-law has it. But where does he keep it.
Beatrice: I'll ask him.
Beatrice: Where do you keep the deed to Ape Mountain?
George: George hide in buttflap.
[walks into vine and trips]
Beatrice: He keeps it in his underwear.
Lyle: Now, the only question is how do we get him and his underwear back here, so I can take it?