Memorable quotes for
Party Monster (2003) More at IMDbPro »

Michael Alig: You'll love me, I promise.

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James: Michael, I hate when you make me say serious things, so I'm only going to say this once: You've gone too far with the drugs.
Michael Alig: Have you looked at yourself?
James: I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamour.

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Christina: How do you like my UFO?

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Michael Alig: We don't do, we just are!

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[to the Club Kids]
Dallas stage hand: Okay, you guys are on stage in five.
James: What do you mean, on stage?
Dallas stage hand: You know - your show.
James: Wait, what show?
[stage hand walks off]
James: But we don't do anything!

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Michael: 132nd street, and on the double!
Keoki: Are we going very far?
Michael: All the way, I hope...

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Michael Alig: [singing] Greetings, citizens. We are living in the age where the pursuit of all values other than money, success, fame and glamour, has either been discredited or destroyed. Money, success, fame, glamour.

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Michael: We're like two peas in a pod, you and I, James.
James: I pity the pod.

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[after James' phone conversion with Michael, who is in prison]
Interviewer: I can't believe you still talk to him.
James: Well, when was the last time you heard of a pea changing its pod?

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James: No, no, no, for the love of God, no. We are not going to start out with Michael Alig's pathetic childhood - "I was molested, wahhh!"

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Michael: But it's my birthday and I wanna have a bloodfeast!

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Michael Alig: Oh, everyone, it's my birthday! Time to pay attention to me!

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Talk Show Host: Is it true your son Michael turned you on to the pill ecstacy?
Elke: He told me it was a headache pill.
Talk Show Host: And what happened when you took it?
Elke: Well, my headache went away.

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Talk Show Host: ...and what happened when you took the pill?
Elke: [pauses] well, my headache went away.

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Michael: Hi, I'm Michael Alig.
James: Well, I'll alert the media. Gotta dash!

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Michael: Oh, no thanks... I don't do drugs.
James: Nor do I.
[snorts Special K]
James: Did you see that? It just flew right up my nose!

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[phone conversation]
Michael Alig: It's not so bad and after Gitsie and I get married we can have conjugal visits!
James: Oh Michael, Im so sorry, didn't you hear? Gitsie's dead. She had an overdose.
[Michael is silent]

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[arguing with Angel]
Michael Alig: You're just some lame-ass, Johnny-come-lately, fairy, faggot, copycat! You don't even know your skrink from your skrod! You stupid logger blogger!

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James: Oh darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up!

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Michael Alig: James, would I lie to you
James: All the time!

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Michael Alig: Let's see... what else, oh once when I was 10 my Sunday school teacher took me back to his house. He taught me how to french kiss among other things...
Elke: He really took my boy under his wind. Very nice man.
Michael Alig: His mother caught us in the basement. She screamed, "I told you not to bring them here." He said, "Don't you'll frighten them away!"

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Michael Alig: [to James St James] I want you to teach me how to be fabulous.

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Keoki: [hesitant] Wow, I never thought I'd be taking a cab to the Bronx with a guy. I figured I come to the club... tell a few girls "no, not tonite"... It's just... ehh, you know...
Michael Alig: Get in.
Keoki: Okay.

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Michael Alig: [to Peter Gatien] I love the eyepatch by the way. Very... Pirates of the Caribbean... *arg*
Natasha: He lost it.
Michael Alig: Whatever

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James: Well, congratulations on getting out of the very dangerous world of haberdashery!
Freez: Well, drugs are just a sideline.
[sniffs]
Freez: Profitable, though.
James: Hmm.
[holds up top of clenched hand]
James: May I sample your wares?

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James: That's better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!

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James: Today I've come up with the perfect sentence. The rhythm, the syntax, the dipthongs, the dissidence
[clears throat]
James: Last night, I dreamt of Glocca Morra... again.
[pause]
James: It's really a shame you can't publish a sentence. I'm convinced it would be a best-seller.

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James: It's really a shame you cant publish a sentence. I'm convinced it would be a best seller.

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James: Testing one, two. Testing. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the d'Urbervilles.

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Male Geisha: Why doesn't Fran come into work anymore?
James: Because she's been indicted for tax evasion and cannot leave her house.
Male Geisha: Oh... I miss Fran. Her new house is neat and tidy.

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James: [to Keoki] If you are going to be a superstar DJ, there are three simple rules you need to remember: Number One: You can always rely the Studio 54 compilation set. They're premixed! They last for hours. And Number Two: Madonna. Always works. And Number Three: When all else fails, play techno! It's nondescript, nonrecognizable, and everyone will think you're *so* cutting edge.

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Michael Alig: Oh typical James. Can't even stay awake for your own movie. But it's not your movie, it's really my movie. Hi. I'm Michael Alig.

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Michael: More as in... more, moron.

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James: That's all you really need to know. That and don't dream it, be it.
Michael Alig: Rocky Horror, it's my fave!

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Michael Alig: [in the bath tub with Gitsie] Well, scrod-la-dah. I can pee again!
Gitsie: Me too!
[laughs]

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Talk Show Host: It's not even our Halloween show.

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Peter Gatien: Does she speak?
Gitsie: Only when he wants me to.
Peter Gatien: My kind of girl.

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Michael Alig: That's not a crack hole! That's a rat hole!

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Michael Alig: Rats on crack attack!

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Michael Alig: I need some money
James: But Michael I'm broke... and I have a stomach ache.

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James: And now I've been cut off without a penny. So, no more trust fund, and no more Gaultier, and no more fucking Comme des Garçons, Michael!

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Michael Alig: Im still Fabulous.
Natasha: When i look in your eyes, do you want to know what i see?
Natasha: I see a poor, pathetic, frightened little boy too scared to face reality.
[mocking]
Natasha: Fabulous...

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Michael Alig: The best superstar is a dead superstar.

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The Rat: Remember me? Clara the Chicken... and Terisius the Rat!
James: [in exasperated voice] No!
The Rat: [pats James' head] You really should stay off the K

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Michael Alig: I just want to be loved.
James: [laughs] There isn't enough love in the whole wide world to satisfy you.

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