- Don Van Vliet: The way I keep in touch with the world is very gingerly, because the world touches too hard.
- Don Van Vliet: When you sculpt little things, it makes your fingers feel delightful.
- Don Van Vliet: Right now, the Chinese are killing tigers thinking it improves their manhood, and if they don't stop it, they have a pussy problem.
- Don Van Vliet: Mondrian... I like his paintings so much that I keep my mouth tastefully shut. Piet did a thing called Broadway Boogie Woogie, my favorite painting. You can hear the horns honk. Van Gogh did paintings so good that upon walking out of the museum, I said 'The sun disappoints me so.'
- Don Van Vliet: Roland Kirk was playing down in Hermosa Beach, and he came up to me on the last set and said 'Where can I get some ribs?' and I said 'The only place in Los Angeles you can get ribs this time of night, Roland, is in the Bible.'
- Don Van Vliet: Ravens I use in my paintings because they clean up the land. Buzzards are nice, too. They also clean up mistakes on the highway done by human beings.
- Don Van Vliet: I'd like to tell you people watching and listening... 'Boo!'