Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003– )
April O'Neil: I feel like I've gone from happily single to mother of four over night.
Splinter: Tell me about it.
[Leonardo, Michaelangelo and Donatello arrive]
Casey Jones: Friends of yours?
Raphael: Brothers actually
Casey Jones: I can see the family resemblance.
Michaelangelo: I'm the pretty one.
Donatello: I was thinking that the Shredder had a bigger hand in our lives than we know. Without the Shredder, we'd all still be pet turtles in a glass jar right now.
Michaelangelo: [Imitating Gary Coleman] What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?
Donatello: Well, allow me to explain: As you all may recall, we got mutated by that strange ooze when we were only babies.
Splinter: I remember it as if it were yesterday. You were all so cute.
Donatello: The ooze that mutated us came from the TCRI building, right? And, why did the TCRI building even exist? Because the Utroms were trying to build their Transmat so they could go home. And why did the Utroms need to go home?
Michaelangelo: Because they were late for dinner?
Donatello: No, because an evil prisoner they were transporting across the galaxy sabotaged their starship, causing them to crash land on Earth centuries ago. And they've been trapped here ever since. And who was this evil prisoner that caused the Utroms so much trouble? He was in fact... Drumroll please.
Donatello: He was in fact... The Shredder! Ergo, the Shredder had a direct hand in our creation. See what I mean?
Raphael: I think I speak for everyone when I say, "No".
Michaelangelo: Ladies and mutants, how NOT to tell our origin story.
Donatello: Listen, if the Shredder hadn't have made the Utroms crash in the first place, then they never would have developed the ooze, and if they never developed the ooze, we'd never have been mutated. And if we'd never been mutated, we'd all be eating fish flakes in some kid's acquarium right now.
Michaelangelo: Wow. That's really deep.
April O'Neil: [Referring to the turtles and Casey] Well, it's definitely a family. But do you think we'll ever be able to teach "the kids" some manners?
Splinter: Miss O'Neil, teaching them the ancient art of Ninjitsu was hard enough. I'm afraid even I cannot work miracles.
Michaelangelo: A very wise frog once said: "It ain't easy being green."
Splinter: How many times have I told you not to sneak up to the surface?
Michaelangelo: This month?
Donatello: About 512, Sensai.
[the power goes out so Splinter lights a candle]
Donatello: Keep that flame away from Mikey. He just ate a double-chili pizza.
Michaelangelo: They don't call me "Air Mikey" for nothing.
Splinter: You should never have tried to face The Shredder alone. He is too powerful.
Donatello: You're telling me. I've got bruises that have got bruises.
Leonardo: And did you see how The Shredder walked right through that fire?
Michaelangelo: Yeah, he's like, "The Shredinator" or something.
Michaelangelo: If you'd read comics you'd know the bad guy ALWAYS comes back.
Michaelangelo: It's quiet. A little too quiet. Always wanted to say that.
[Baxter Stockman gets up after being defeated several times]
Leonardo: What do we have to do to stop this guy?
Shredder: I have asked myself that question many times.
Donatello: The elasticity of it's flesh is too resilient.
Michaelangelo: And it's really rubbery too.
Michaelangelo: Goodbye, dented manhole cover. Goodbye, home sweet home.
Raphael: Hello, cruel world. Come on.
Leonardo: And, even if the Shredder is still out there, no matter what he throws at us, no matter how he messes with our lives, nothing he does will change the most important thing: that we are family.
Michaelangelo: Ha ha ha. Leo, that was off the charts on the Sap-O Meter. You been watching way too many after school specials, bro.
Raphael: Just eat your S'Mores and keep quiet, Mikey. Leo's got a point.
Leonardo: Can you imagine being that alone?
Donatello: You know, things may get roughat times, but at least we have each other.
Michaelangelo: Yeah, but do we have to have Raph?
Raphael: Come here, knucklehead!
Chorus: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! / Turtles count it off: 1! 2! 3! 4! Turtles! / Mutant chain reaction, turtles! Livin' underground, turtles! / Ninjutsu action, turtles! / It's a shell of a town! Turtles count it off: 1! Live by the code of the martial arts / 2! Never fight unless someone else starts / 3! Always stick together no matter what / 4! If all else fails then it's time to kick butt! / I love bein... I love bein... I love bein' a Turtle! / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! / Turtles count it off: 1! 2! 3! 4! Turtles, there's no one better / Turtles, watch out for Shredder! / Turtles, they're like no others / Turtles, those teenage brothers! / 1! 2! 3! 4! 1! 2! 3! 4! / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Raphael: I'll fill you in over dinner.
Michaelangelo: Dinner? Now you're talkin' my language.
Raphael: What language is that Mikey? Nitwit?
Raphael: I just want to apologize for earlier.
Leonardo: Okay, who are you and what have you done with our brother Raphael?
[after entering a damp cavern]
Donatello: That's some stank.
Michaelangelo: Don't look at me, my brother. Remember, he who smelt it, dealt it.
Michaelangelo: [after hearing about the Mousers] Boy, I'd sure hate to be a rat in this city. Oh, sorry Master Splinter.
Leonardo: Good news, Mike, your DVD collection survived.
Raphael: These guys must have some kind of what-do-you-call-it, cloaking device.
Casey Jones: Cloaking device? What are they, Klingons?
Casey Jones: Thanks, you guys. How can I repay you?
Michaelangelo: We accept cash, checks and all major credit cards.
Michaelangelo: And that's how they defeated "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave".
Leonardo: I finished you off myself. You can't be alive.
Shredder: Ha ha ha. You merely separated my head from my body. A courtesy I will gladly extend to you all, for none of you are leaving here alive.
Donatello: Here's another fine mess we've gotten ourselves into.
Leonardo: Like Master Splinter said, it's not the weapon that's important, it's the Ninja wielding it.
Raphael: Watch out for him, because something that evil always comes back.
Michaelangelo: Dude, that was great. How do you come up with those?
Raphael: Don't keep recycling the old ones, Mikey. You gotta try and find something new.
Little Boy: Mom. There's two giant turtles in the bathroom and one of them has got your stockings.
Michaelangelo: I tried to get out of the way but then the building jumped out and attacked me.
Donatello: Geez, Master Splinter, now you're backseat Ninja-ing me too.
Quarry: We've learned to either live off the land or it lives off of us.
April O'Neil: You guys can stay as long as you want, so long as you don't block the TV.
Donatello: The Gravity Equalizer. Don't leave home without it.
Casey Jones: Now that's what I call crashing the party. Lame party, though. No band. I brought drumsticks
[presents two hockey sticks]
Casey Jones: Who wants to be the drum?
Shredder: Like the Phoenix, I have risen from the ashes. And into my fire, you shall fall.
Oroku Saki: I do not tolerate failure.
Dr. Baxter Stockman: Which is why you'd make a lousy scientist.
Splinter: Donatello, your Battle Shell is a marvel of engineering. A true testament to your incredible mechanical skills. And I never want to see it in our home again.
Criminal: What are you?
Raphael: I am the Green Vengeance.
Criminal: The Green Vengeance? What?
Raphael: All right, never mind. Don't like green, huh? How about black and blue?
Leonardo: Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
Michaelangelo: That a great big serving of Kung Pao Chicken would be really good about now?
Fugitoid: Help. I'm being robo-napped.
Triceraton: This event is co-sponsored by Ranzan's Yum-Stuff, makers of the best meat-food-on-a-stick treat on this galaxy or any other.
Leonardo: It's getting awful ugly in here.
Raphael: Nah, that's just Mikey.
Michaelangelo: Hey, I was voted as having a smile that brightens any room.
Donatello: I sure you hope you can brighten up this one.
Utrom: We come in peace.
Shredder: But you will go in pieces.
Dr. Baxter Stockman: Sweet dreams, you cursed freaks.
Leonardo: Our weapons. They've disappeared.
Dr. Baxter Stockman: Or should I say very unpleasant nightmares? Ha ha ha ha.
Utrom #1: I hate walking on my tentacles.
Utrom #2: Shut up, Krang.
[pushed into a man hole by Raph]
Michaelangelo: ... AHHHHHHHHHH! NOT FUNNY RAPH!
Raphael: Oh yes it was.
[Raphael is watching the news on TV]
Raphael: That ticks me off! All the news is bad!
Donatello: Raph! Everything ticks you off.
Raphael: Not everything!
[pauses for a second]
Raphael: Okay, everything.
Shredder: Say farewell to each other while you still can.
Michaelangelo: Oh yeah, Mr. Spiky-Pants? Well, you're the one who should be saying farewell to... Uh... To yourself.
Raphael: [Sarcastically] Oh yeah, Mikey, that got him.
Michaelangelo: Man, when we found out that Shredder was an Utrom, I nearly soiled my shell.
April O'Neil: There's no way he could have survived that, right?
Michaelangelo: I don't know, April, the Shredder may play rough, he may play dirty, but he don't play dead.
Hamato Yoshi: He who lives without honor will end without honor.
Splinter: Master Yoshi kept his honor to the end. A true warrior, and a true Guardian.
Casey Jones: Aah! Grr! The Shredder and Hun, the Purple Dragons. Buncha heartless goons! I... I just wanna... Grrrrrrr!
April O'Neil: I think what Mr. Jones here is trying to say is, we're sorry for your loss, Master Splinter.
Raphael: [Splinter has been thrown in the dungeon] I'm gonna go bust him our right now.
Traximus: Raphael, that is a rash, foolhardy and extremely dangerous act. Count me in.
Michaelangelo: It's the end of the world as we know it... And I don't feel fine.
Raphael: It's not nice to invade Mr. Raphie's Neighborhood.
April O'Neil: [Over the Shell Cell] Guys, it's April. Casey and I are in kind of a tight spot.
Leonardo: April, I can't hear you. Can you talk a little louder?
April O'Neil: Not really. We're being held by these aliens. They're big and ugly and they stink.
Fugitoid: I know the risks are high. There is a 95.6% certainty that I will not return. But I besiege you, do not try to stop me. For it is as they say, "Greater love has no robot than this that he lay down his R.A.M. for his friends".
Splinter: I hate to put either one of you at risk, but only a fool ignores fate and the strange gifts it offers.
April O'Neil: Well if it's strange gifts you're after, they don't come any stranger than Casey Jones.
Thug: Who are you, Man?
Nobody: Who am I? I might just be a glimmer of hope for a lost city. I'm the guy the cops would thank if they knew I existed. But they don't. Who am I? I'm Nobody.
Shredder: Those who are not with me are against me and I crush anyone who stands against me!
[to the Turtles]
Shredder: The time for games has ended. No more charades.
[takes his helmet off]
Shredder: You see me as I am and it will be the last thing you will ever see.
[puts his helmet back on]
Shredder: Prepare to face your destiny and your doom.
Dr. Baxter Stockman: You brought us all the way out here for a blimp? What pea-brained, half-wit authorized this project?
Oroku Saki: I did.
Dr. Baxter Stockman: Oh, well... I'm sure you had your reasons, oh wise and revered master.
Oroku Saki: Indeed.
Dr. Chaplin: Attention all hands, welcome to China. The floating city of Beijing is dead ahead. Pretty cool, huh?
Karai: Stand by, we are approaching Beijing.
Michaelangelo: 'Bout time. I really gotta go to the little turtle's room.
[Gen, a humanoid rhino, sees a New Yorker dressed like Rocksteady, the mutant rhino from the '80s cartoon]
Gen: I like your style, my friend.