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The Lion King 1 1/2 (Video 2004) Poster

(2004 Video)

Quotes

Pumbaa: Shall we run for our lives?

Timon: Oh yes, let's.

PumbaaTimon: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Timon: [singing along to opening of "The Lion King"] What's on the menu? It could be ceviche. It's stinky. Ooh it's Pumbaa.

Pumbaa: I gotta tell you, Timon, that song always gets me, right here.

Timon: Yes, Pumbaa. Well, enough of that.

[fast forwards film with his remote]

Pumbaa: Uhh, Timon, what are you doing?

Timon: I'm fast forwarding to the part where we come in.

Pumbaa: But you can't go out of order.

Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote.

Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused.

[picks up his own remote and rewinds film]

Pumbaa: We gotta go back to the beginning of the story.

Timon: [fast forwarding] We're not *in* the beginning of the story.

Pumbaa: [rewinding] Yes we were, the whole time.

Timon: [fast forwarding] Yeah, but they don't know that.

Pumbaa: [rewinding] Then, why don't we tell them our story?

[Film stops during the hyena attack; Timon and Pumbaa are spooked]

Timon: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we tell them our story?

Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that.

Uncle Max: Scurry, sniff... . flinch! Scurry, sniff... . flinch!

Timon: [about a familiar log under the moon] I'm going to get old walking across this thing.

[Timon and Pumbaa have found their dream home; Timon is talking to himself, Pumbaa is making a celebration supper]

Timon: The monkey was right! We found it! The perfect life!

Pumbaa: I'll just whip up a little something.

Timon: He had the perfect name for it, too.

Pumbaa: Come and get it!

Timon: [sits at a rock] Such a wonderful phrase. It had this rhythm. Laduda Ladada.

Pumbaa: Try this - hot tuna frittata.

Timon: Hmm. No, that's not it.

Pumbaa: The spinach armada.

Timon: Quiet, Pumbaa. I'm trying to think.

Pumbaa: A spoon of ricotta.

Timon: Two words.

Pumbaa: A wormy piccata.

Timon: Six syllables.

Pumbaa: Kahuna colada.

Timon: Twelve letters.

Pumbaa: A blue enchilada.

Timon: Rhymes with... .

Pumbaa: Legumes on a platter.

Timon: Think, think, think.

Pumbaa: [poking a dish] This oughta be hotta.

Timon: I forget.

Pumbaa: I gotta lambada!

[dances right into Timon]

Timon: HEY! How can you dance at a time like this? I'm DYIN' here!... . Ooh, sorry about that, pal.

Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata.

Timon: ....Come again?

Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata - It means "no worries". Ah-ohhhh... .

Timon: It's coming to me. It's either that slug I ate, or I'm having an epiphany.

Timon: Hey Pumbaa, what do you call a hyena with half a brain?

Pumbaa: [laughs] Beats me, Timon. What?

Timon: GIFTED!

Timon: I'm Timon.

Pumbaa: Pumbaa.

Timon: No, really.

Timon: Well, that worked like a dream.

Pumbaa: It did?

Timon: Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

Pumbaa: What exactly did he say?

Timon: [mimicking Rafikki] Look beyond what you see.

Timon: This is the start of a beautiful acquaintanceship.

Timon: We can't let them feel the love tonight.

Pumbaa: Good night.

Timon: Sleep tight.

Pumbaa: Dream of bedbugs tonight.

Timon: I see carnivores.

Timon: [about his species] We're so low on the food chain we're underground!

[Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba are all in a bubbling water hole]

Simba: Three pals and no worries, what more could you want?

[all sigh relaxingly]

Pumbaa: [yawns] Ah, I'm bushed.

[while getting out of water hole]

Pumbaa: I think I'll turn in for the night.

[bubbles stop]

Timon: I'm out!

Simba: Right behind ya!

Mom: Everything the light touches... . belongs to someone else.

Mom: Everything the light touches... . belongs to someone else!

Timon: Funny, I thought you were going in a whole different direction.

Mom: Uncle Max, have you seen Timon?

Uncle Max: No, I haven't... . and what a day it's been. No fractures, no lacerations, concussions, contusions of any sort. As a matter of fact there's no sign of Timon's handy-work anywhere!

Uncle Max: Meerkat! It's what's for dinner!

Uncle Max: Timon the sentry? Why don't you save the hyenas the trouble and kill me now? JUST KILL ME NOW!

Timon: [to Mom] He has a point.

Mom: All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one. Look at Iron Joe.

Iron Joe: [camera pans over to Iron Joe] DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AWAY! SOMEBODY'S GONNA GUARD US! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PROTECT US!

[sobs uncontrollably]

Timon: [camera pans over to Timon] Well, now I'm convinced... .

Shenzi: [Timon is singing] Oh, look, it's dinner and a show!

Banzai: And I thought beans were the only musical food!

Timon: I uh, I guess I owe everyone an apology. All right so I made a teensy mistake, like we all haven't broken into song on sentry duty before uh-haha come on, let me have a show of hands! Ooook.

[Timon is awaken by Simba singing "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"]

Timon: Oh, perfect! We moved into the theater district. Get a load of these guys. Knock it off!

Timon: I am perfectly happy right here. It's remote, private, no unexpected visitors... .

[the shadows of hyenas march across the wall, as the intro to "Be Prepared" plays]

Timon: Something tells me that ain't the traveling company of Riverdance.

Rafiki: Look beyond what you see.

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[Rafiki appears before Timon from a tree]

Timon: You! No, no, don't say a word. I know what you're going to say.

[Imitates Rafiki]

Timon: Did you find Hakuna Matata?

[Normal]

Timon: Well, yes, I did! Thank you very much.

[Laughs]

Timon: And I am happy. Happy, happy, deliriously happy.

[Imitates]

Timon: Ho ha ha! I see. Happy, is it? So, if you're so happy, why do you look so miserable?

[Normal]

Timon: Miserable, you say? Why should I be miserable? Oh, I don't know. Maybe my two best pals in the world deserted me. Heh. They - they've headed off on some heroic mission... . My friends... . are gone.

[Realizes]

Timon: And... . my Hakuna Matata went with them!

Rafiki: [smiles and nods]

Timon: [points to his head] Would you mind?

[bows his head down]

Rafiki: [lightly hits him on the head with his stick]

Timon: Ay. Thanks. I'm glad we had this talk.

[clicks his tongue at Rafiki and runs off screen]

Rafiki: [to the audience] My work here is done.

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Timon: And so with my spirits high I boldy ventured off where no meerkat had dared to go before. I put my past behind me Ha! and never looked back.

[sobs hysterically]

Timon: Mommy, Mommy! What am I doing? Which way should I go?

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Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient monkey, right on cue.

Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."

Timon: That's it. No more fortune-cookies for you!

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Timon: Let's go Pumbaa. I think the storm's coming to a head.

[in the background the clouds are shaping to form Mufasa's head]

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Timon: Get a load of the monkey getting all Existential on me.

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Timon: Just eat me now and please make it fast, I have a low threshold for pain.

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Timon: It was a wonderful phrase. It has some rhythm. Laduda Ladada. No, that wasn't it.

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Uncle Max: I flinched, when I should have scurried.

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Mom: Something's different about Timon.

Uncle Max: You think?

Uncle Max: [shouting] He's wearing a dress!

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Uncle Max: We're food for other animals! A moveable feast, feared by no-one and eaten by all!

Timon: But when they die, they become the grass, and we eat the grass, right?

Uncle Max: Not exactly. We can't digest grass. We're grass intolerant.

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Timon: It's as if you have some special power.

Pumbaa: Uh, special power? well, it's pretty powerful.

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Timon: So, that's your special power?

Pumbaa: You mean, you don't mind?

Timon: Are you kidding? It was a gas!

[starts laughing]

Pumbaa: Well, I don't like to toot my own horn.

Timon: Yeah, that's probably for the best.

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Pumbaa: After a long day of doing nothing, it's good to kick back.

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Uncle Max: Now what do we do if we see a hyena?

Timon: Scream, "MOMMY!"

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Timon: Waaait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second.

Pumbaa: Uh, Timon? What are you doin'?

Timon: Shenzi Marie Predatora Veldetta Jacquelina Hyena... . would you do me the honor of becoming... . my bride?

Shenzi: I don't think so!

Timon: Shenzi Marie, please. I know what you're thinking: "We're too different." "It'll never work." "What will the children look like?"

Shenzi: Ooh, that violates so many laws of nature.

Timon: Listen to me! The problems of a couple of wacky kids like us don't amount to hill of termites in this nutty circle-of-life thing. And so I ask you: If not now, when? If not me, who? I'm lonely.

Pumbaa: Can I be your best man?

Banzai: I say we skip the wedding, and go straight to the buffet!

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[during the hyena chase, the channel suddenly changes to a shopping channel]

Timon: What's going on here? Pumbaa, are you sitting on the remote?

Pumbaa: Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie.

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Timon: Friends stick together to the end.

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Pumbaa: [talking through a crowd of animals at Pride Rock] I don't do so well in crowds.

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Pumbaa: They say first impressions are very important.

Timon: Oh, I thought you were a "scream".

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Uncle Max: That's right, Mister! Because the world out there is fraught, FRAUGHT I tell you!

[shakes Timon]

Timon: Oh, boy. It's the fraught fest.

Uncle Max: They're gonna rip us limb from limb!

Timon: [clapping] Bravo, Uncle Max! Way'ta sell it to the cheap seats!

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Timon: [singing]

[from the movie]

Timon: Luau! If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meet / Eat my buddy, Pumbaa, here 'cause he's a... .

[Timon pauses the movie]

Timon: Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

Pumbaa: Oh, okay.

[Timon pushes next on the remote and it goes to the part where the hyenas chase Timon and Pumbaa]

TimonPumbaa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

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Timon: Ahh... . I love the smell of Pumbaa in the morning.

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Rafiki: Any story worth telling is worth telling twice.

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Timon: What this place lacks in water and shade, it makes up for with searing heat and blinding sunshine. Home, sweet home, Pumbaa!

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Mom: Max, Timon's out there chasing metaphors! I gotta go find him!

Uncle Max: ARE YOU NUTS?

Mom: [dryly, to Rafiki] Nice to have a supportive family, isn't it?

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Shenzi: For your last meal, you're gonna eat those words.

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[Timon has brought his family to the oasis]

Mom: I gotta hand it to you, Timon. This place has EVERYTHING.

Timon: Well, now that we're all here, it does.

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Timon: [is being hugged by his mother] Ma... . choking... . not breathing... .

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Uncle Max: Appluad now sonny boy, but try clapping when you don't have any hands.

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[At Simba's presentation ceremony]

Pumbaa: Timon, look!

Timon: Hey-ey-ey, it's the monkey!

Pumbaa: What's that he's holding up?

Timon: Aw, who cares? It's not important.

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Rafiki: You seek Hakuna Matata.

Timon: Harpoon a tomato?

Rafiki: Hakuna Matata. It means "no worries".

Timon: Perfect! Mind taking that stick of yours and drawing me a map, bub?

[Rafiki smacks him over the head with his stick]

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Banzai: Look at them scramble.

Shenzi: That's just how I like them: scrambled, and a little runny.

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Timon: Who knows why fate led us to little Simba?

[images of Simba scaring Timon run throughout the scene]

Timon: Maybe it was my love of adventure, my innate courage, or my... . Okay! Who's in charge of the freeze-frames?

Pumbaa: Sorry.

Timon: Anywho... . Rescuing Simba was a cinch. Then came the real scary part:

[dramatic music]

Timon: Parenthood.

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Timon: [commenting on his home] Here we are... from Pride Rock, to the Pit of Shame.

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Snow White: [walking through the theatre] Excuse me.

Bashful: Excuse me.

Doc: Excuse me.

Sneezy: Excuse me.

Happy, Additional Voices: Excuse me.

Sleepy: Excuse me.

Grumpy, Additional Voices: Get out of the way!

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Timon: [about Simba] He's gone? Whaddaya MEAN he's gone?

Nala: It's just like the baboon said. The king has returned.

[Timon and Pumbaa stare at her blankly]

Nala: [sighs] You guys want me to go over it again?

Timon: Yes please, but be a dear and skip to the part about Simba. Not that your childhood wasn't fascinating!

Nala: OK. Look, Simba's the rightful king, but after he disappeared, Scar proclaimed himself the king and formed an alliance with the hyenas...

Pumbaa: [Thinks] Poor Simba. The treachery, the villainy, the SURE INDESCRIBABLE HORROR!

Timon: [Thinks] Blah blah blah! WHY IS SHE TOYING WITH US? AAH! THIS CRAZY CHICK IS GONNA EAT US!

Nala: [continues to explain] ... So Simba has to go back to challenge his uncle and reclaim his place as king!

[Silence; Nala doesn't get a reaction from Timon or Pumbaa]

Nala: [frustrated] Ohh... don't you get it? Simba NEEDS us! NOW!

[runs off into the jungle]

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Timon: [terrified] Hy... hy... hy...

Shenzi: Well "Hi" to you too!

Shenzi: [smacks Timon, who goes rolling down a hill and bumps into Uncle Max]

Uncle Max: This no time for horseplay Timon! You're suppose to be up there looking out for...

[sees the hyenas approaching]

Uncle Max: HYENAS!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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