The Incredibles (2004)
Bob: Did I do something illegal?
Gilbert Huph: [begrudgingly] No.
Bob: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?
Gilbert Huph: [pacing back and forth] The law requires that I answer no.
Bob: We're supposed to help people!
Gilbert Huph: We're supposed to help *our* people! Starting with our stockholders, Bob! Who's helping them out, Huh?
[Helen hands the kids two masks]
Elastigirl: Put these on. Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it. And if anything goes wrong, use your powers.
Violet: But you said never to use...
Elastigirl: I know what I said!
Elastigirl: Remember the bad guys on the shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys aren't like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you are children. They *will* kill you if they get the chance. Do *not* give them that chance.
Gilbert Huph: Look at me when I'm talking to you, Parr!
Bob: [looking out the window] That man out there, he needs help!
Gilbert Huph: Do not change the subject, Bob! We're discussing your attitude!
Bob: *He* is getting *mugged*!
Gilbert Huph: Well let's hope we don't cover him!
Bob: [leaving] I'll be right back.
Gilbert Huph: Stop right now, or you're fired!
Gilbert Huph: Close the door.
[Bob closes door]
Gilbert Huph: Get over here now.
[Bob lets go of the doorknob, which has been crushed by his grip; he walks over to Huph]
Gilbert Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy.
Bob: [glancing out the window] He got away.
Gilbert Huph: Good thing, too. You were this close to losing your jo...
[Bob grabs Huph by the throat and throws him through the wall; he goes through several walls, to the shock of the other workers]
Gilbert Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy. Ask me why.
Bob: Okay. Why?
Gilbert Huph: Why what? Be specific, Bob.
Bob: Why are you unhappy?
Gilbert Huph: Your customers make me unhappy.
Bob: Why? Have you gotten complaints?
Gilbert Huph: Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings. They're experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole! Dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!
Lucius: Where's my super suit?
Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit?
Honey: I, uh, put it away.
[helicopter explodes outside]
Honey: *Why* do you *need* to know?
Lucius: I need it!
[Lucius rummages through another room in his condo]
Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no daring-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!
Lucius: The public is in danger!
Honey: My evening's in danger!
Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!
Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!
Mr. Incredible: No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!
Underminer: Behold, the Underminer! I'm always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!
[Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to a Mrs. Hogenson]
Bob: [whispering] Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't.
[Mrs. Hogenson scribbles details of Bob's loophole on a small notepad]
Bob: I also do not advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do.
[the old lady tries to thank him for everything, but Bob shushes her]
Bob: [shouts loudly] I'm sorry ma'am, I know you're upset.
Bob: Pretend to be upset.
[old lady starts sobbing very convincingly]
Rick Dicker: We've frozen all of Syndrome's assets. If he even sneezes, we'll be there with a hanky and a pair of handcuffs.
Old Man #1: Ya see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school.
Old Man #2: Yeah. No school like the old school.
Old Man #1: Right!
Lucius: [Bob and Lucius are sitting in a parked car, reminiscing] So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do?
Bob: [laughing] He starts monologuing.
Lucius: He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda.
Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!
Helen: Now it's perfectly normal...
Violet: [interrupting] Normal? What do *you* know about normal? What does *anyone* in *this* family know about normal?
Helen: Now wait a minute, young lady...
Violet: We act normal, mom! I want to *be* normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained!
[Jack-Jack bursts out laughing]
[Violet and Helen look askance at him]
Dash: Uh, I meant about being normal.
Dash: [answers door] Hey, Lucius!
Lucius: Hey, Speedo, Helen, Vi, Jack-Jack.
Bob: Hey, hey! *Ice* of you to drop by.
Lucius: Never heard that one before.
Edna: Your boy's suit I designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature. Your daughter's suit was tricky, but I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely as she does. Your suit can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton.
Dash: She would be eating if we were having Tony loaf.
Violet: That's it!
[jumps at Dash]
Helen: Both of you sit down!
[Dash runs around the table, hitting Violet as he passes her, until Violet makes a force field to stop him]
Dash: Hey! No force fields!
Violet: You started it!
Helen: [grabs Dash and puts him on his seat] You sit down!
[grabs Violet and puts her in her seat]
Helen: You sit down! Violet!
[Dash and Violet run under the table to fight, dragging Helen against the table]
Bob: [reading newspaper in the other room] "Longtime advocate of superhero rights, is missing"... Gazer Beam...
Bob: Bob! It's time to engage! Do something! Don't just stand there, I need you to... intervene!
Bob: You want me to intervene?
[picks up table]
Bob: Okay, I'm intervening! I'm intervening!
Frozone: Just like old times, huh Bob?
Mr. Incredible: [slapping him in the back] Just like old times.
Frozone: Ha-ha, yeah. Hurt then, too. Ow.
Mr. Incredible: Is this on? I mean, can break through walls, I just can't... can't get this on...
Oliver Sansweet: [Mr. Incredible intercepts him on his way down and his momentum carries them both through the window of the building] Ow! I think you broke something.
Mr. Incredible: Well, with counseling, I think you'll come to forgive me.
[Helen is feeding Jack-Jack and making baby noises at him]
Dash: Mom, you're making weird faces again.
Helen: Noo, I'm not...
Bob: [not looking up from the paper] You make weird faces, honey.
Helen: E, it's great to see you, but I gotta tell you, I've got no idea what you're talking about.
Edna: Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you are here!
Mr. Incredible: Bomb Voyage.
Bomb Voyage: Monsieur Incroyable!
[French for Mr. Incredible!]
Buddy: And IncrediBoy!
Bomb Voyage: [not French, but with an accent] IncrediBoy?
Buddy: Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots!
Mr. Incredible: Go home, Buddy.
Mr. Incredible: Now.
Bomb Voyage: [French] Little oaf.
Buddy: Can we talk?
[pulls Mr. Incredible off to the side]
Buddy: You always, always say "Be true to yourself," but you never say which part of yourself to be true to! Well, I finaly figured out who I am: I am your ward. IncrediBoy!
Mr. Incredible: And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy.
Buddy: This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well, not every superhero has powers, you know. You *can* be super without them. I *invented* these.
[points to his rocket boots]
Buddy: I can fly! Can you fly?
Mr. Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
Bomb Voyage: [French] And your outfit is totally ridiculous!
Edna: I didn't know the baby's powers so I covered the basics.
Helen: Jack-Jack doesn't have any powers.
Edna: No? Well, he'll look fabulous anyway.
Elastigirl: I think your father is in trouble.
Violet: If you haven't noticed, Mom, we're not doin' so hot either.
Mr. Incredible: I was wrong to treat you that way. I'm sorry...
Syndrome: See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that only I can defeat, and when I unleash it...
[Mr. Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, who dodges it and traps Mr. Incredible with his zero-point energy ray]
Syndrome: Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...
Mr. Incredible: [after he's thrown his ex-boss through several walls] I'm fired, aren't I?
Rick Dicker: [sarcastically] Oh, you think?
[to Mr. Incredible]
Syndrome: Oh, no. Elastigirl? You married Elastigirl? Ho, ho, ho...
[sees the kids]
Syndrome: Oh - and got biz-zay! It's a whole family of supers! Looks like I hit the jackpot! Oh, this is just too good!
Helen: Dash... this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more... constructive outlet.
Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.
Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that.
Dash: But I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
Helen: Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy, and a bit of a show-off. The last thing you need is temptation.
Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.
[Watching news reports about his Omnidroids]
Syndrome: Oh, come on! You gotta admit this is cool! Just like a movie! The robot will emerge dramatically, do some damage, throw some screaming people, and just when all hope is lost, *Syndrome* will save the day! I'll be a bigger hero than you ever were!
Mr. Incredible: Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in.
Elastigirl: While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don't think so.
Mr. Incredible: I'm asking you to wait with the kids.
Elastigirl: And I'm telling you, not a chance. You're my husband, I'm with you - for better or worse.
Mr. Incredible: I have to do this alone.
Elastigirl: What is this to you? Playtime?
Mr. Incredible: No.
Elastigirl: So you can be Mr. Incredible again?
Mr. Incredible: No!
Elastigirl: Then what? What is it?
Mr. Incredible: I'm not...
Elastigirl: Not what?
Mr. Incredible: Not... I'm not strong enough.
Elastigirl: Strong enough? And this will make you stronger?
Mr. Incredible: Yes. No!
Elastigirl: That's what this is? Some sort of work out?
Mr. Incredible: [shouts] I can't lose you again!
Mr. Incredible: I can't. Not again. I'm not s-strong enough.
Elastigirl: [kisses him] If we work together, you won't have to be.
Mr. Incredible: I don't know what will happen...
Elastigirl: Hey, c'mon. We're superheroes. What could happen?
Helen: I love you, but if we're going to make this work, you have to be more than Mr. Incredible. You know that, don't you?
Priest: ...so long as you both shall live?
Bob: I do.
Henchman: Every time they run, we take a shot!
Helen: [on getting no response from the island's air tower, Helen reaches for her superhero costume, then pulls back] Easy, Helen, easy, easy girl. You're overreacting, everything's fine, they're just... all getting coffee! At the same time. Yeah.
Elastigirl: [on Jack-Jack] All right, well, who'd you get?
[scene switch to the Parr home]
Kari: You don't have to worry about one single thing, Mrs. Parr. I've got this baby-sitting thing wired. I've taken courses and learned CPR, and I've got excellent marks and certificates I can produce on demand.
Kari: I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Mozart makes babies smarter.
Kari: ...And the beauty part is the babies don't even have to listen 'cause they're asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about!
Elastigirl: Kari, I really don't feel comfortable with this. I'll pay you for your trouble but I'd really rather call a service.
Kari: Oh, there's really no need, Mrs. Parr. I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out.
Kari: Can't I, little baby? Who can handle it? Who can handle it?
Elastigirl: Settle down, are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so.
Edna: This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now? Feh!
Bob: Wait, what do you mean? *You* designed it.
Edna: I never look back, darling! It distracts from the now.
Syndrome: It's finally ready! You know, I went through quite a few supers to make it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn't good enough! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure, it was difficult, but you are worth it. I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan.
Mr. Incredible: [recognizing that last line] Buddy?
Syndrome: My name is not Buddy! And it's not Incrediboy, either. That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to help, and what do you say to me?
Mr. Incredible: [Flashback] Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
Syndrome: It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes.
Mr. Incredible: [Everyone is trapped in Syndrome's containment unit] I'm sorry. I've been a lousy father, blind to what I have. So obsessed with being undervalued that I undervalued all of you.
[while Bob is talking, Violet frees herself using her force field]
Dash: Uh, dad...
Elastigirl: Shh, don't interrupt.
Mr. Incredible: So... caught up in the past that I... You are my greatest adventure, and I almost missed it. I swear that if we get out of this safely, I will...
Violet: [At the control panel] Well, I think dad has made some excellent progress today, but I think it's time we wind down now.
[she frees them by hitting a green button]
Elastigirl: This is the right hangar, but I don't see any jets.
Mr. Incredible: A jet's not fast enough.
Elastigirl: What's faster than a jet?
Dash: Hey, how about a rocket?
Elastigirl: Great. I can't fly a rocket.
Violet: You don't have to. Use the coordinates from the last launch.
Mr. Incredible: Oh, wait. I bet Syndrome's changed the password by now. How do I get into the computer?
Mirage: [Over PA system] Say please.
Helen: Dash, do have something you want to tell your father about school?
Dash: [nervously] Oh, uh... Well, we dissected a frog...
Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
Bob: [Not paying attention] Good, good.
Helen: No, Bob. That's bad.
Helen: Dash got sent to the office again.
Bob: What? What for?
Helen: He put a tack on the teacher's chair. *During* class.
Dash: Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape.
Bob: They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking! How fast do you think you were going?
Helen: Bob, we are not encouraging this!
Lucius: What are we doing here, Bob?
Bob: We're protecting people.
Lucius: Nobody asked us.
Bob: You need an invitation?
Lucius: I'd like one, yes. We keep sneaking around, and... You remember Gazer Beam?
Bob: Yeah, there was something about him in the paper.
Lucius: He had trouble adjusting to civilian life too.
Bob: When was the last time you saw him?
Lucius: I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob, just you, and we're pushing our luck as it is.
Helen: [picking something off Bob's shoulder] Is this rubble?
Bob: [mouth is full of a huge piece of cake] It was just a little workout, just to stay loose.
Helen: You know how I feel about that, Bob, darn you, we can't blow cover again!
Bob: The building was coming down anyway.
Helen: *What*? You knocked down a building?
Bob: It was on fire. Structurally unsound. It was coming down anyway.
Helen: Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again...
Mr. Incredible: No, you're that kid from the fan club. Brophy... Brody... Buddy! Buddy...
Buddy: My name is IncrediBoy.
Mr. Incredible: Look, I've been nice, I've stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me, but this...
Buddy: Oh, no, no, you don't have to worry about training me! I know all your moves, your crime-fighting style, favorite catchphrases, everything! I'm your number one fan!
[Mr. Incredible ejects him from the car, and speeds off]
Helen: I'm calling to celebrate a momentous occasion. We are now *officially* moved in.
Bob: That's great, honey. And the last three years don't count because...
Helen: Because I finally unpacked the last box. Now it's official! Ha ha ha! Why do we have so much junk?
Gilbert Huph: [in Huph's office] You know, Bob... a company...
Bob: Is like an enormous clock.
Gilbert Huph: ...Is like an enormous cl... Yes, precisely. It only works if all the little cogs mesh together. A clock must be clean, well lubricated, and wound tight.
Helen: You're late. When you asked me if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten. I thought it was playful banter.
Bob: It *was* playful banter.
Helen: Cutting it kinda close, don't ya think?
Bob: You need to be more... *flexible.*
Mr. Incredible: Are you doing anything later?
Elastigirl: I have a previous engagement.
[after the Parr's house is destroyed]
Dash: Does this mean we have to move again?
Syndrome: [Slams Mr. Incredible against the ground] Am I good enough now?
[Slams him again]
Syndrome: Who's super now? I'm Syndrome, your nemesis and...
[inadvertently throws Mr. Incredible out of sight]
Syndrome: Oh, brilliant.
Boy on Tricycle: [after watching the Parr Family defeat Syndrome over their house] Oh, man...
Boy on Tricycle: That was totally wicked!
[Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building]
Bob: Can't you put this out?
Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast!
Bob: What's that mean?
Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!
Bob: You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice! I thought you could use the water in the air!
Lucius: There *is no* water in the air! What's your excuse, running out of muscle?
Bob: I can't just go smashing through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second, it's going to come down on top of us!
Lucius: I wanted to go bowling!
Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...
Violet: Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse -
Violet: their marriage.
Edna: [on Jack-Jack's suit] I cut it a little roomy for the free movement, the fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin...
[a sheet of flame erupts in front of the suit]
Edna: And it can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof...
[four heavy machine guns appear and open fire on the suit, without effect]
Edna: And machine washable, darling. That's a new feature.
[Bob notices the little boy on the tricycle staring at him for the second day in a row]
Bob: Well, what are *you* waiting for?
Little Boy on Tricycle: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
Bob: Me too, kid.
[checking himself out in his superhero costume]
Dash: Look, I'm The Dash. The Dash likes. Yeah-hah.
Dash: You want to go *toward* the people that tried to kill us?
Elastigirl: If it means land, yes.
Violet: You mean Dad's in trouble, or Dad is the trouble?
Elastigirl: I mean, either he's *in* trouble, or he's *going* to be.
Mr. Incredible: I should have told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn't want you to worry.
Elastigirl: You didn't want me to *worry*? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle?
Mr. Incredible: [grinning happily] You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive.
Mirage: He's not weak, you know.
Mirage: Valuing life is not weakness.
Syndrome: Oh, hey, look, look, if you're talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control.
Mirage: And disregarding it is not strength.
Syndrome: Look, I called his bluff, sweetheart, that's all. I knew he wouldn't have it in him to actually...
Mirage: [through her teeth] Next time you gamble, bet *your own* life.
[the Incredibles crash/park their RV]
Mr. Incredible: Is everybody okay back there?
Violet: Super duper, Dad.
Dash: Let's do that again!
Bob: Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague?
Edna: Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *gods*!
Edna: You need a new suit, that much is certain.
Bob: A new suit? Well, where the heck am I gonna get a new suit?
Edna: You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy, so ask me now before I can become sane.
Bob: Wait? you want to make me a suit?
Edna: You push too hard, darling! But I accept!
Edna: It will be bold! Dramatic!
Bob: Yeah. Something classic, like, like Dynaguy. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots...
Edna: [throws a wadded ball of paper at Bob's head] No capes!
Bob: Isn't that my decision?
Edna: Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids.
Bob: Listen, E...
Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when... his cape snagged on a missile fin!
Bob: Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb...
Edna: Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!
Bob: E, you can't generalize about these things...
Edna: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!
Edna: No capes!
Bob: Want to catch a robber?
Lucius: No. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing... just to shake things up?
Lucius: Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good.
Oliver Sansweet's Lawyer: Mr. Sansweet didn't asked to be saved. Mr. Sansweet didn't want to be saved. And the injuries received from Mr.Incredible's "actions," so-called, causes him daily pain.
Bob: [lunging towards Sansweet] Hey, I saved your life!
Oliver Sansweet: You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that's what you did!
Helen: [sobbing] Now I'm losing him! What'll I do? What'll I do?
Edna: What are you talking about?
Helen: [stops crying] Huh?
Edna: [shouts] You are Elastigirl! My God...
[swatting Helen with a newspaper]
Edna: Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!
Edna: And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.
Bob: You know I'm retired from hero work.
Edna: As am I, Robert, yet here we are.
Elastigirl: You're in charge until I get back, Violet.
Violet: You heard her.
Mr. Incredible: Of course I have a secret identity. I don't know a single superhero who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?
Gilbert Huph: Parr! You authorized payment on the Walker policy?
Bob: Somebody broke into their house, Mr. Huph. Their policy clearly covers them against...
Gilbert Huph: I don't care about their coverage, Bob! Don't tell me about their coverage! Tell me how you're keeping Insuricare in the black! Tell me how that's *possible* with you writing checks to every Harry Hardluck and Sally Sobstory that gives you a phone call!
Bob: Someone was in trouble...
Rick Dicker: Someone's always in trouble.
Bob: I had to do *something*...
Rick Dicker: Yeah. Every time you say that, Bob, it means a month-and-a-half of trouble for me, and thousands of dollars of taxpayer money. We have to pay to keep the company quiet, pay damages, erase memories, relocate your family. Every single time it gets harder. Money, money, money money money... We can't keep doing this, Bob! We appreciate what you did in the old days, but those days are over. From now on, you're on your own.
Bob: It's okay, kids. We were just having a discussion.
Violet: Pretty loud discussion.
Bob: But that's okay, because the important thing is that your mother and I are a team, united against the forces of...
Bob: I was gonna say evil.
Syndrome: [about his newest Omnidroid] It's bigger. It's badder. Ladies and gentlemen, it's too much for Mr. Incredible!
[In the RV, traveling to the mainland]
Dash: Are we there yet?
Mr. Incredible: We get there when we get there!
[to her panicking children, having just survived a plane crash]
Elastigirl: Stop it! We are not gonna die! Now, both of you will *get a grip*! Or so help me, I will *ground* you for a month. Understand?
Elastigirl: Now our kids are in danger?
Mr. Incredible: Well, if you suspected danger, why'd you bring them?
Elastigirl: I didn't bring them! They stowed away! And I don't think you're striking the proper tone here!
Mr. Incredible: [yelling to Helen as she holds up the RV] How ya doin', honey?
Elastigirl: [screaming back] Do I have to answer?
[going through an identification process]
Edna: Edna Mode...
[laser guns point at Helen]
Edna: ...and guest.
[laser guns retract]
Kari: [on phone message] Hi, this is Kari, sorry for freakin' out but your baby has *special needs*.
[a captured Mr. Incredible is begging Syndrome to call off the attack on Helen's jet]
Mr. Incredible: No! Call off the missiles. I'll do anything!
Syndrome: Too late! Fifteen years too late.
[Helen's plane is targeted by Syndrome's missiles]
Elastigirl: India-Golf-Niner-Niner transmitting in the blind guard, disengage, repeat, *disengage*.
[she releases anti-missile devices, begins evasive maneuvers]
Elastigirl: Disengage, repeat, *disengage*!
Mr. Incredible: No! Call off the missiles, I'll do anything!
Syndrome: Too late! Fifteen years too late...
Elastigirl: Friendlies, at two-zero miles south-southwest of your position, angels ten, track east, disengage, over! Vi! You have to put a force field around the plane!
Violet: But you said we weren't supposed to use our powers!
Elastigirl: I know what I said! Listen to what I'm saying *now*! Disengage, repeat, *disengage*!
[missiles close in]
Dash: [frightened] Mom?
Elastigirl: *Violet*! Mayday, mayday, India-Golf-Niner-Niner is buddy spiked! Abort, abort, there are children aboard, say again, there are children aboard this plane!
Mr. Incredible: NO!
Elastigirl: [shouts] Put a field around us, *now*!
Violet: [frightened] But I've never done one that big before...!
Elastigirl: Violet, do it NOW! Abort, abort, abort!
[the missiles close in, Violet tries to create a force field but can't]
Elastigirl: Abort abort abort!
[the missiles hit; Helen envelopes the children as the plane explodes around them]
Mr. Incredible: You mean you killed off real heroes so that you could *pretend* to be one?
Syndrome: Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics the world has ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that *everyone* can have powers. *Everyone* can be super! And when everyone's super...
- no one will be.
[the Incredibles enter their house to find Syndrome holding Jack-Jack. Syndrome paralyses them with his zero point energy]
Syndrome: Shhh. The baby's sleeping.
[Syndrome gets up with Jack-Jack still in his arms, preparing to leave]
Syndrome: You took away my future. I'm simply returning the favor. Oh, don't worry. I'll be a good mentor: supportive, encouraging...
[glares at Mr. Incredible]
Syndrome: Everything you *weren't*. And in time, who knows? He might make a good sidekick.
Syndrome: This isn't the end of it! I will get your son eventually! I will get your son!
[Syndrome captures a fuel truck in mid-air with his zero-point energy beam]
Voice in crowd #1: The Supers have returned!
Voice in crowd #2: Is that Fironic?
Voice in crowd #3: Fironic?
Voice in crowd #4: No, Fironic has a different outfit!
Syndrome: [during his fixed fight with the Omnidroid] Somebody needs to teach this hunk of metal... a few manners!
[Bob sneaks into the house late at night, but Helen has been waiting up for him]
Helen: I thought you'd be back by 11.
Bob: I said I'd be back later.
Helen: I assumed you'd be back later. If you came back at all, you'd be "back later".
Bob: Well I'm back, okay?
[Mirage releases Mr. Incredible from his restraints and rushes over to him]
Mirage: There isn't much time.
[Mr. Incredible grabs her by the throat]
Mr. Incredible: No, there isn't.
[He stands up and holds her in the air]
Mr. Incredible: In fact, there's no time at all.
Mirage: [choking] Please.
Mr. Incredible: Why are you here? How can you *possibly* bring me lower? What *more* can you take away from me?
Mirage: [choking] Family... survived... the crash. They're here... on the island!
Mr. Incredible: They're alive?
[he drops her, then picks her up and hugs her]
Elastigirl: Let go of me! Let go, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep...
[Bob kisses her]
Mr. Incredible: How could I betray the perfect woman?
Elastigirl: Oh, you're referring to *me* now?
Edna: Men at Robert's age are often unstable... prone to weakness.
Helen: What are you saying?
Edna: Do you know where he is?
Helen: Of course...
Edna: Do you *know* where he is?
Syndrome: You, sir, truly are Mr. Incredible. You know, I was right to idolize you? I always knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super? Oh, MAN! I'm still geeking out about it!
Syndrome: And then you just had to go and ruin the ride. I mean, Mr. Incredible calling for help?
Syndrome: Help me! Help me! Lame, lame, lame, lame, *lame*!
Elastigirl: Of course I have a secret identity. Can you see me in this at the, at the supermarket? Come on! Who'd want to go shopping as Elastigirl, know what I mean?
Syndrome: [after the plane is shot down] Oh, you'll get over it. I seem to recall you prefer to..."work alone."
[laughs maniacally; Mr. Incredible tries to catch him, but Mirage pushes Syndrome out of the way and is captured]
Mr. Incredible: Release me, now!
Syndrome: Or what?
Mr. Incredible: I'll crush her.
Syndrome: That sounds a little dark for you. Eh, go ahead.
Mr. Incredible: It'll be easy, like breaking a toothpick.
Syndrome: [chuckles] Show me.
[after a tense few moments, Mr. Incredible lets go of Mirage]
Syndrome: I knew you couldn't do it. Even when you have nothing to lose! You're weak! And I've outgrown you.
Mirage: The supers are not gone, Mr. Incredible. You're still here. You can still do great things. Or... you can listen to police scanners. Your choice.
[as the cops burst into the jewelry store where Bob and Lucius are, Lucius reaches for a water cooler to replenish his freezing powers]
Lucius: I'm thirsty.
Cop: I said freeze!
Lucius: I'm just getting a drink.
[takes the cup to his lips and drinks]
Cop: Okay, you had your drink. Now, I want you to...
Lucius: I know, I know. Freeze.
[freezes the cop]
Lucius: It was fun the first time, but if we keep doing this, we're gonna get...
Bob: [listening to radio] A fire! We're close! Yeah, baby!
[the car peels out of the alley]
Bob: Fire! Yeah!
Bob: E, I just need a patch job. For... sentimental reasons.
Edna: Fine. I will also fix the hobo suit.
Bob: You're the best of the best, E
Edna: [Walking up stairs] Yes, I know, dahling.
[after seeing Jack-Jack's superhero outfit]
Helen: What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?
Edna: Well, I am sure I don't know, darling. Luck favors the prepared.
Helen: [on the phone with an old friend] Snug, I'm calling in a solid you owe me.
Helen: [on the phone] I'd like to speak to Edna, please.
Edna: This is Edna.
Helen: E? This is Helen.
Edna: Helen who?
Helen: Helen Parr. You know...
Helen: [whispers] Elastigirl.
Edna: [booming] DARLING! How are you, it's been such a long time...
Helen: [nearly dropping the phone] Yes, yes, it's been a while. Listen, there's only one person who Bob would trust to patch a super suit, and that's you, E.
Edna: Yes, yes, marvelous suit, darling, much better than those horrible pajamas he used to wear.
Edna: They're all finished, when are you coming to see?
Helen: Look, I'm calling about...
Edna: Don't make me beg, darling, I won't do it, you know!
Helen: [trying to talk over Edna] Beg? Uh, no, I'm, I'm calling about a suit, about, about Bob's suit. I'm calling about Bob's suit!
Edna: You come in one hour darling, I insist, okay? Okay, bye-bye.
[Helen is left holding the phone, looking puzzled]
Newsreel Narrator: Under tremendous public pressure and the crippling financial burden of mounting lawsuits, the goverment quietly initiated the Superhero Relocation Program. Superheroes were granted amnesty from past actions under the promise to never again resume hero work. Where are they now? They are living among us. Average people, average citizens quietly and anonymously making the world a better place.
Principal: Thank you for coming in, Mrs. Parr.
Helen: What is this about? Has Dash done something wrong?
Bernie Kropp: He's a disruptive influence and he openly mocks me in front of the class.
Dash: He says.
Bernie Kropp: Look, I know it's you! He puts thumbtacks on my stool.
Helen: You saw him do this?
Bernie Kropp: Well, not really... No, actually not.
Helen: Oh. Then how do you know it was him?
Bernie Kropp: I hid a camera. And this time I got him.
Bernie Kropp: See? See? What, you don't see it?
Bernie Kropp: He moves! Right there! Wait, wait... Right *there*! Right as I'm sitting down! I don't know, I don't know how he does it, but-but there's no tack on my stool before he moves, and after he moves, there's a tack! Coincidence? I think not!
Principal: Uh, Bernie...
Bernie Kropp: Don't "Bernie" me! This little rat is guilty!
Principal: You and your son can go now, Mrs. Parr.
Bernie Kropp: You're letting him go *again*? He's guilty! You can see it in his smug little face. Guilty, I say! Guilty! Guilty!
Bob: You want to do something for Dash, then let him actually compete. Let him go out for sports.
Helen: I will not be made the enemy here, Bob. You know why we can't let Dash compete.
Bob: Because he'd be great!
Helen: This... is not... about *you*!
Helen: Have a great day, honey. Help customers, climb ladders...
Bob: Bring bacon.
Helen: All that jazz.
Mirage: The Omnidroid 9000 is a top-secret military fighting robot. Artificial intelligence allows it to solve any problem it's presented with, and, unfortunately...
Mr. Incredible: Let me guess. It became smart enough to wonder why it had to take orders.
Mirage: We lost control, and now it's loose in the jungle, threatening our facility. We've had to evacuate all personnel for their own safety.
Mr. Incredible: How am I going in?
Mirage: The Omnidroid's defenses necessitate an air drop from 5000 feet. Its cloaking devices make it difficult to track, but we're pretty sure it's on the southern half of the island. One more thing. Obviously, it represents a significant investment...
Mr. Incredible: You want me to shut it down without completely destroying it.
Mirage: You are Mr. Incredible.
[Mr. Incredible is loaded into a landing pod]
Mirage: I've got to warn you. It's a learning robot. Every minute you spend fighting it only increases its knowledge of how to beat you.
Mr. Incredible: Shut it down, do it quickly, don't destroy it.
Mirage: And don't die.
Mr. Incredible: Great. Thanks.
Mr. Incredible: I've been meaning to ask you. Of all places to settle down, why...
Mirage: A volcano? My employer is atracted to power. As am I. It's a weakness we both share.
Mr. Incredible: Seems a little... unstable.
Mirage: I prefer to think of it as misunderstood.
Mr. Incredible: Aren't we all?
Parrot: Identification, please.
Dash: Huh? Hey, hey Vi, c'mere, look, look it talks! There, that one.
Parrot: Voice key incorrect.
Violet: Voice key?
Parrot: Voice key incorrect.
Violet: Wait a second...
[Parrot sounds alarm]
Dash: What do we do?
Dash: Where are we going?
Violet: Away from here!
Mr. Incredible: The robot's in the financial district. Which exit do I take?
Elastigirl: Traction Avenue.
Mr. Incredible: That'll take me downtown. I take Seventh, don't I?
Elastigirl: Don't take Seventh!
Mr. Incredible: Great, we missed it!
Elastigirl: You asked me how to get there and I told you. Exit at Traction!
Mr. Incredible: That'll take me downtown!
Elastigirl: It's coming up, get in the right lane! Signal!
Mr. Incredible: We don't exit at Traction!
Elastigirl: YOU'RE GONNA MISS IT!
[Mr. Incredible yanks the wheel over and careens down the exit]
Mr. Incredible: What are you waiting for?
Boy on Tricycle: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
Mr. Incredible: [sighs] Me, too, kid.
Helen: Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again
Bob: Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing.
Helen: It is a bad thing, Bob! Uprooting our family *again* so that you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing!
Bob: [Defensively] Reliving the glory days is better than pretending they never happened!
Helen: Yes! They happened, but this; our family, is what's happening now, Bob! And you're missing this! I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation!
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! People keep coming up with new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...
Helen: This is not about you, Bob. This is about Dash.
Bob: You want to do something for Dash? Well, let him actually compete! Let him go out for sports!
Helen: I will not be made the enemy here! You *know* why we can't!
Bob: Because he'd be *GREAT*!
Helen: [Growing in size looming over Bob] This is not - about - YOU!
Bob: [Notices a disturbance] Alright, Dash. Come on out I know you're listening.
Helen: Vi, you too, young lady.
Bob: It's okay. Your mother and I were just having a discussion.
Violet: A pretty loud discussion.
Bob: Yeah, but that's okay. Because Mommy and I are always united. Against the... uh forces of...
Bob: I was gonna say evil or something...
Helen: We're sorry we woke you. Everything's alright, get back to bed... in fact
Helen: we should *all* be in bed.
Violet: Dash, remember what mom said...
Guard 1: Hey, stop talking!
Guard 1: Hold it, freeze!
Violet: Dash, run!
Dash: Oh yeah!
[Takes off at super speed]
Guard 2: What the-? They're Supers!
[after their adventure]
Dash: Dad, that was so cool when you threw that car!
Mr. Incredible: Not as cool as you running on water!
[Helen emerges from the restroom after changing into her superhero costume, and tosses her bag onto an apparantley empty seat]
Violet: [becomes visible] It's not my fault! Dash ran away and I knew I'd get blamed for it...
Dash: [pops up] THAT'S NOT TRUE!
Violet: [over him] And I thought he'd try to sneak on the plane so I came in...
Dash: [over her] You said, "Something's up with Mom, we have to find out what!"
Violet: ...And then you closed the doors before I could find him...
Dash: ...It was YOUR idea, YOUR idea-!
Violet: ...AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
Dash: ...100 percent, all yours, all the time IDEA!
Elastigirl: Wait a minute, wait a minute! You left Jack-Jack ALONE?
Violet: Yes Mom, I'm completely stupid - OF COURSE we got a sitter...
Dash: [over her] No, we got someone, Mom! Somebody great! We wouldn't do that!
Violet: [over him] Do you think I'm totally irresponsible? Thanks a lot!