- Ash: Say, if I may say so, you look pretty sexy behind bars...
- Trisha Pettywood: Not now Ash. We got locked when the security system kicked in. You have got to let us outta here!
- Ash: Hey, don't get your panties in a twist, I'll get you out... you are wearing panties aren't ya?
- Trisha Pettywood: Ash! This is no time for this...!
- Bartender: I'm real sorry about Jenny. It'd be ten years now, right?
- [We suddenly see a newspaper headline reading, "Woman Dies in Bus Accident"]
- Ash: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, thanks for bringing that up, chief. You're a real pal for pouring some margarita salt on the wound there. Maybe you'd like to poke me in the eye with an umbrella straw while you're at it?
- Ash: [after killing a Deadite with his shotgun] I bet you're a believer in gun control now, aren't you?
- Ash: Can't you see I just want to be left alone? No? Well maybe if I shoved your eyeballs back in first
- Ash: When you've just emptied two barrels of a shotgun into the head of your favorite bartender it's a pretty good bet that happy hour's over.
- Ash: There I was. Face-to-face with the mother of all ugly. So I say "Come get some", and BLAM, no more Mr. Nasty Face.
- Bartender: It's the end of the world!
- Ash: Sorry pal, but it sounds like your co-workers are playing footsie with the forces of hell right now.
- Deadite: I'll tear off your legs!