Tom Sawyer: Boy. They told me European women had funny ways.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): Oh, chemist, eh? Do we get to blow something up, then?
Allan Quartermain: Well, we were the faster, but now we're the tortoise to his hare.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: So, we're done?
Tom Sawyer: No, we're alive. If M has any idea to the contrary, that gives us an edge.
Captain Nemo: The sea is vast, he could be anywhere.
Tom Sawyer: Yeah, well, I'm an optimist, now maybe that's a crime to you twisted so-and-so's but it keeps me from going crazy.
Mina Harker: Your optimism's out of place.
Tom Sawyer: You're wrong! Because we'll get out, man... at least, I will. That other agent I told you about... was my childhood friend. We were agents together until the Fantom shot him dead. Now you can be done, but I am not. I will avenge his death.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: It's not about any one of us, Tom, it's bigger than that.
Tom Sawyer: Yes, it is, Jekyll! The fate for the world is in our hands... the world! So M tricked you, he brought you all together and you walked straight into his trap. But the way that I see it, that's the part he did wrong... He brought you together.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: He has a point.
Allan Quartermain: And the boy becomes a man... perhaps a leader of men.
Mina Harker: And Women.
Dorian Gray: Ah. The bedroom, Mina. Does it give you memories? Or ideas?
Mina Harker: Ideas.
[She stabs him in the groin]
Dorian Gray: [gasping] If that had been permanent, I'd have been very upset!
M: You could stay, you know. Share my dream.
Dorian Gray: I've lived long enough to see the future become history, Professor. Empires crumble. There are no exceptions.
M: You think you're better than me. You forget: I've seen your painting.
Allan Quatermain: Now, would you like to learn to shoot?
Tom Sawyer: I can already.
Allan Quatermain: Oh, I saw. Very American. Fire enough bullets and hope to hit the target.
M: James Moriarty? The so-called Napoleon of crime? That man died at Reichenbach Falls. He died, and I was reborn.
Captain Nemo: We have trouble.
Mr. Hyde: Trouble? I call it sport.
Edward Hyde: Yes, Henry. Look, but don't touch. That's your way.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Just shut up. I won't be tricked again.
Edward Hyde: Tricked? You've known what I was about each time you drank the formula.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Liar. I am a good man.
Edward Hyde: Who's lying now? You want it, even more than you want her.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: No.
Edward Hyde: You can't shut me out forever. Drink the elixir.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: No.
Edward Hyde: She barely even looks at you...
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Be quiet.
Edward Hyde: SHE LOOKED AT ME.
Allan Quartermain: [after the exploration pod has been stolen] We can track it.
Captain Nemo: Track it? I intend to catch it!
[Dante throws the Fantom a rocket launcher]
Draper: [in German] Are you crazy? This place is full of hydrogen gas!
The Fantom: Really? That's so frightening.
Allan Quartermain: Jekyll, come on! We'll need Hyde!
Dr. Henry Jekyll: No! Hyde will never use me again.
Dorian Gray: Then what good are you?
[Chasing Moriarty, Tom Sawyer bumps into an invisible man]
Tom Sawyer: Skinner?
Tom Sawyer: It's okay! It's Skinner!
[to the invisible man]
Tom Sawyer: What the hell are you doing here?
Sanderson Reed: What makes you think I'm Skinner, huh?
Allan Quatermain: Ah, you're missing a picture, Mr. Gray.
Dorian Gray: And you don't miss a thing, do you, Mr. Quatermain?
Allan Quatermain: Oh, sometimes.
Mina Harker: A man who worships death. Can we trust him?
Allan Quatermain: He's not the one I'm worried about.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): That's the last time I ever play with matches.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): And they'll provide an antidote... well, that's if I'm a good boy.
Allan Quatermain: And are you a good boy?
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): I guess you'll find out, won't you?
Dorian Gray: Mina. You're alive.
Mina Harker: It's possible I can't die. Same could be said of you. Let's put it to the test.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): OW. You scratched me.
Dorian Gray: Better me than him.
Allan Quatermain: If you can't do it with one bullet, don't do it at all.
Sanderson Reed: Where is your sense of patriotism?
Allan Quatermain: [stands up with a drink] God save the Queen.
[the other patrons of the club mutter an apathetic return to the toast]
Nigel: God save her.
Allan Quatermain: [to Reed] That's about as patriotic as it gets around here.
Allan Quatermain: Automatic rifles. Who in God's name has automatic rifles?
Elderly Hunter: Dashed unsporting. Probably Belgian.
Sanderson Reed: They're indestructible.
Allan Quatermain: No, just armor-plated.
Mina Harker: You're sweet... and you're young. Neither are traits that I hold in high regard.
Mina Harker: Do you realize what you've done? What you've let out of me?
Dorian Gray: A woman's wrath? Oh, I'm petrified.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): Allow me to introduce myself. Rodney Skinner, gentleman thief. Now, I thought invisibility would be a boon to my work. Well, you can imagine, it was my undoing. Once you're invisible, it's bloody hard to turn back.
Dorian Gray: I'm an immortal, sir, not a gazelle. How can we outrun this?
[Tom Sawyer brings out Nemo's car]
Tom Sawyer: Care for a spin?
Dorian Gray: I hoped I'd get to nail you one more time. Didn't think it'd be literally.
[Mina jumps and gasps like something just grabbed her behind]
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): I've been waiting all week to do that.
Allan Quatermain: Get a grip, man.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): Well, I thought I just did.
[Mina slaps him]
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): Oooh, Mina...
Captain Nemo: Report.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): Well, hello to you, too. And need I remind you, I am naked in the snow. I can't feel any of my extremities. And I mean... any of them.
Sanderson Reed: There is great unrest. Countries set at each other's throats, baying for blood. It's a powder-keg. The trouble of which I speak could set a match to the whole thing: War.
Allan Quatermain: Wi-With whom, exactly?
Sanderson Reed: Everyone. A world war.
Allan Quatermain: That notion makes you sweat?
Sanderson Reed: Heavens, man. Doesn't it you?
Allan Quatermain: This is Africa, dear boy. Sweating is what we do.
[Clanging metal sounds from inside Nautilus]
Tom Sawyer: What is it?
Captain Nemo: The sound of treachery.
Captain Nemo: Contain your evil, Doctor. I'll not have the brute free upon my ship. Must I take drastic steps?
Dr. Henry Jekyll: I am in control.
Captain Nemo: I very much doubt it.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Your talk is all well and good, sir... but your own past is far from laudable.
Allan Quatermain: I may have been overly rude earlier... when I called you a pirate.
Captain Nemo: And I may have been overly charitable... when I said I wasn't. But I try to live in the now... where the ghosts of old wrongs do not abide.
[after throwing the invisible man out of his room]
Allan Quatermain: Skinner, I want you dressed at all times, eh? Or it's my boot up your arse.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Let's not make a saint out of a sinner. Next time he may not be so helpful.
Nigel: Perhaps I should toddle off, should I, Allan?
Allan Quatermain: Yes, of course, Nigel. You toddle off.
[Dorian and Mina, both immortals, are fighting]
Dorian Gray: We'll be at this all day.
Sanderson Reed: But you're Allan Quatermain. Stories of your exploits have thrilled English boys for decades.
Allan Quatermain: That I know. And Nigel has done a grand job reminding me. But... with each past exploit I've lost friends, white men and black... and much more. And I'm not the man I once was.
[to Tom Sawyer]
Allan Quatermain: May this new century be yours, son, as the old one was mine.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): So, how did M get you?
Allan Quatermain: None of your business.
Mina Harker: You're a little testy, Mr. Q.
Allan Quatermain: Mrs. Harker, I doubt if you measure danger the way I do.
Mina Harker: And I imagine you with quite the library, Mr. Quatermain. All those books you must have read merely by looking at their covers.
Allan Quatermain: I've had women along on past exploits, and found them to be, at best, a distraction.
Mina Harker: Do I distract you?
Allan Quatermain: My dear girl, I've buried two wives and many lovers... and I'm in no mood for more of either.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): You can send 'em my way.
Allan Quatermain: Skinner, shut up.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): This is a charming spot. Does Jack the Ripper live here?
M: I hope I've got your fire when I'm your age.
Allan Quatermain: You will not live beyond today. That I promise you.
Captain Nemo: [Seeing the Dante-Beast] What is that thing?
Mr. Hyde: It's me on a bad day.
Mr. Hyde: Don't be afraid.
Tom Sawyer: Who says I'm afraid?
Mr. Hyde: YOU DO!
[In an eyeblink he rips a chain from the wall and sends it flying over Sawyer's head]
Mr. Hyde: YOU STINK OF FEAR!
Sanderson Reed: The Empire needs you.
Allan Quatermain: But the question is, do I need the Empire?
M: They've discovered these attacks are all the work of one man who calls himself the Phantom
Allan Quatermain: Very operatic. And what's in it for him?
Captain Nemo: This is my first mate.
Ishmael: Call me Ishmael, please.
Marksman #1: Draw your pistol.
Captain Nemo: I walk a different path.
[Draws his sword and attacks, successfully]
M: To that end, I set my wolf among you sheep.
Dorian Gray: Growl.
Captain Nemo: You underestimate the Nautilus. You underestimate her greatly.
Allan Quatermain: [sniffs air] He's afraid.
Tom Sawyer: [sniffs air] I don't smell anything.
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): And I thought I was special. You're invulnerable to harm.
Dorian Gray: I don't like to boast.
Allan Quatermain: I don't like theatrics.
M: After Africa's veldts, London's climate isn't affecting your mood, I see...
Allan Quatermain: Identify yourself.
M: I am known by many names, Mr. Quatermain. My underlings call me Sir. My superiors call me M.
Allan Quatermain: M?
M: Just M.
M: To the death. But you'll need Hyde to make it mine.
Allan Quatermain: He'll be making his own fight.
Rodney Skinner (the Invisible Man): Oh, scotch anyone?
Dorian Gray: Help yourself.
Mina Harker: Don't let it ruin your makeup.
Captain Nemo: I'm impressed, Mr. Gray. You take Skinner's uniqueness in your stride.
Dorian Gray: Well, I've seen too much in my life to shock easily.
[Quatermain pulls Sawyer out from under some falling rubble]
Allan Quatermain: Heh. That was naughty.
Tom Sawyer: Thanks.
Allan Quatermain: Eyes open, boy. I can't protect you all the time.
[Sawyer pushes Quatermain out of the way of a thrown knife]
Tom Sawyer: Look out!
[they both fall over]
Tom Sawyer: [smiling] Eyes open, boy. I can't protect you all the time!
Mina Harker: [imitating Quatermaine] This hunt is too dangerous for a woman, even one such as you. Leave it to me.
[Deflecting an enemy's bullets]
Mr. Hyde: IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?
Rodney Skinner (the Invisible Man): Hello, Dorian. The great white hunter's bagged his prize.
[they hear and see men being thrashed]
Dorian Gray: Or the prize bagged him.
[Quatermain is corraling Mr. Hyde]
Allan Quatermain: Stay back, if you value your lives.
Mr. Hyde: Home... home is where the heart is, that's what they say. And I have been missing London so. Its sorrow is as sweet to me as a rare wine.
[he eyes Mina Harker]
Mr. Hyde: I am yours.
Captain Nemo: Behold Nautilus; the Sword of the Ocean. Next stop Paris.
Allan Quatermain: [being lead down a staircase that doesn't seem to end] Where are we going? Australia?
Sanderson Reed: [to coachman] Don't... wander... off.
Allan Quartermain: Chilao!
[a target is slung into the ocean. Sawyer hoists the elephant gun]
Allan Quartermain: Aim.
Tom Sawyer: That's easy.
Allan Quartermain: Adjust for wind and target movement.
Tom Sawyer: That's easy, too.
Allan Quartermain: Here's the part that's not. You have to feel the shot. Take your time with it. You have all the time you need. All the time in the world.
[Allan aims his elephant gun at a fleeing assassin]
Sanderson Reed: But he's so far away.
[Allan lowers the gun with a grunt of frustration]
Sanderson Reed: Yes, I thought he was.
[Allan puts on a pair of glasses]
Allan Quartermain: God, I hate getting old.
[He aims the rifle and fires. In the far distance, the assassin goes down. Reed gapes]
Dorian Gray: [after watching Hyde's attack] Quite the parlor trick.
Mr. Hyde: Wait 'til you see my next one.
[Hyde transforms suddenly into small and meek Henry Jekyll]
Dr. Henry Jekyll: Dr.Jekyll... at your service.
Mina Harker: [after seeing a painful reaction Jekyll's face] You all right?
Dr. Henry Jekyll: My ears hurt, it's nothing.
Ishmael: Shall I wait, Captain?
Captain Nemo: No, bring my lady to me.
Mina Harker: And you are?
Tom Sawyer: Special Agent Sawyer, American Secret Service.
Ishmael: That Skinner's got a lot to answer for!
Dorian Gray: Not Skinner - me!
[raises his gun and shoots Ishmael]
M: [to Quatermain] Are you tired of being wrong? The League? Me? Skinner?
Tom Sawyer: [Skinner has been burnt by a flamethrower] Are you okay?
Rodney Skinner (The Invisible Man): That's the last time I play with matches!
Allan Quartermain: The Phantom is M. And the hunt is still on.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: What are you talking about?
Allan Quartermain: The Phantom is M. The same man who recruited us.
Dr. Henry Jekyll: [trying to examine Allan's wound] Let me see that.
[he is shrugged off]
Captain Nemo: But how?
Allan Quartermain: We'll get our answers. Where are the others?
Mina Harker: [entering] Dorian's missing in action. And Mr. Skinner must have fled when he realized we knew.
Allan Quartermain: [concerned] Sawyer?
Tom Sawyer: [entering with a bloody lip] He'll live to fight another day.
Mina Harker: [advances towards Tom, he draws back] Don't worry, I've had my fill of throats for this evening.