Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
[Jesus walks out of the lake with a small bottle of lemonade]
Jesus Christ: Lemonade?
Father Eustace: Will there be enough?
Jesus Christ: Oh, there'll be plenty.
Mother Marry: [on her appreciation of lesbians] Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think?
[Jesus KOs a vampire]
Jesus Christ: [pats body] Body of Christ!
Jesus Christ: [singing a song at the Dominion] I was born in a manger / doomed to live in danger.
Santo Enmascarado de Plata: He'll have you wrestling midgets in border towns for ten percent of the net.
Dr. Pretorious: We're running short on skin. We'll need to harvest more lesbians.
Jesus Christ: [to the jive talking man behind the counter] Don't tempt me!
Jesus Christ: Is that you, bowl of cherries?
God: Do bowls of cherries talk, Jesus?
Jesus Christ: I don't know. I've seen a lot of strange things over the years.
God: You need help, Jesus, and I will not forsake it.
Jesus Christ: Ohh, it's you Dad. So what's your advice?
Jesus Christ: Why lesbians?
Johnny Golgotha: They're deviants, no one will miss them.
Jesus Christ: There's nothing deviant about love
The Transvestite: Jesus, honey, you're a mess!
Jesus Christ: [weakly] How... did you know... my name?