The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School. Written by
Lee Demarbre <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The film-makers from Ottawa, Canada fearlessly decided to make a B-movie flick that may well make Jesus Christ a major martial-arts action star... In an unnamed city (although the bilingual hospital sign in the shot points to OTTAWA), one lesbian after another is succumbing to massive blood-loss and fang-marks. The local priests suspect that fierce succubi are responsible, so they call on the help of their Lord, Jesus Christ. Jesus uncovers many opponents such as the succubi, Johnny Golgotha, a bar-room full of vampires, and the dreaded Kung-Fu Atheists, and Christ is soon forced to call upon the help of the curvaceous Mary Magnum, as well as Santos, the masked Mexican wrestler. From there, it's a massive brawl supported by a Cast of, oh, Several Dozen, as Jesus and his homeys go Biblical on vampire buttocks. Extensive special effects such as "slow-motion" and "Jesus-time" photography enhance the story, and the Vampires soon learn why it's not good to fight the Son of God who can be everywhere at once. Oh, yes, and God appears as a bowl of soup...
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