[imitating Noel Coward
STRITCHY! Your attempt to keep it light, keep it gay, impossible I'm afraid. The book is not very good, the score is not very good, the direction isn't very good, the choreography is not very good. The leading lady is quite good, indeed, and right now she is alone in her dressing room in tears having a very, very, VERY, large scotch. Take heart, Stritchy! Any leading lady who doesn't do a double take when a nine-foot bear asks her to dance is my kind of actress!