Rent it but don't rush out and buy it
Just Married (2003)
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Rent it but don't rush out and buy it
This movie very much does what it says on the tin. It doesn't claim to be an intellectual journey. It's just a bit of screen candyfloss. But for all that, I'd rate it as one of the better examples of its type.
Why? Because there are enough laughs to keep it going - especially in the first half of the film. And the two leads are likable enough. It has to be said that both look terrific, and Kutcher in particular has developed a very nice style in physical comedy.
The problem with all these kind of movies, for me, is that they tend to drag a bit as they reach the 1hour mark, and then you're sort of waiting for it to end. This is certainly the case here. But if you like to see goodlooking people in reasonably funny romantic situations, you can do a lot worse than this one.
Nevertheless I was surprised because despite some really hideous reviews and bad promos, the movie isn't awful. As a means of silly entertainment, it's sweet, good-natured and occasionally funny, even if all the gags are recycled from other flicks. I counted quite a few. The first fifteen minutes alone have: - Last regrets before the wedding (e.g. bride feels bad about keeping secrets from future husband, etc.) - Groom picks up bride to be romantic, ends up slapping her head against the door frame (also see...any other movie about newly married couples) - They try to have sex on an airplane, get limb(s) stuck in the toilet (also see "Vegas Vacation," which was a scene recycled from other films to begin with) - Mean airline stewardesses (also see "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" and "Meet the Parents" and "Midnight Run" and...) - Mix-up at the rental agency in terms of car/transportation, they end up with a lesser car (ripped right off of the aforementioned "P,T&A") - Get stuck in snow ("PT&A" again!) And so on and so forth...
Some of the gags are too crude and shouldn't be included - the pathetic joke about the vibrator as a honeymoon present is unnecessary. Sticking it into the wrong electrical current outlet is a good payoff, but I was expecting it to be handled funnier. It's a bit anti-climactic.
Overall this is an "embarrassing situation" comedy where lots and lots of bad stuff happens to people minding their own business. It's kind of like "Meet the Parents" - events continually spiralling out of control, bad luck for good people - but not as funny or well-developed. The characters are likable which helps out a lot. The direction isn't as bad as I expected.
But the script could have used polishing and the whole premise has been dealt with before. As a means of simple 90-minute entertainment, you could do a lot, lot worse (trust me!). But I'm just hoping they don't make another one. (I can see it now: "Just Parents," "Just Grandparents," "Just Divorced" and then "Just Deceased.")
WHY she actually loves her husband is unclear, just as it's unclear why newlyweds poor guy Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and rich girl Sarah (Brittany Murphy) team up. They don't know anything about each other, but get married anyway. OK, it's a mistake others have made, but things only get worse when they are fighting, screaming at each other, basicly hate each other, but in the end, as Sarah says to her father: Well, I just love him Jer... erm... dad.
The story is focussing on the honeymoon of Tom and Sarah. They decided to go to Europe, first stop: France. At this time around Kutcher's character is the most annoying one I have ever witnessed on screen. He's literally a European's nightmare of an American. He hates it that no-one speaks English (well, American anyway), hates the French customs, yells at the hotel manager while he just basicly destroyed the place, he's screaming at his wife for no reason... what fun is there to be married to this illiterate guy?
Things only get worse once they go to Venice, with Sarah meeting an old boyfriend of hers and Tom almost sleeping with a girl he picked up at a bar (he goes to all the time because they show American baseballmatches... screw those old churches!).
So, what happens really, is two people who are not fit for each other end up getting married, which is a huge mistake. Ok, let's go for it then. Make it some sort of War Of The Roses, or whatever. But no, there's always a feeling left in the movie that they will end up happily ever after, until that very last scene. I Just Love Him Daddy! YUCK!!!
Film not only lacking a good story, a good ending, good actors, good directing, but also some laughs (why would you call this one a comedy?) as it sure is one of the worst movies I have ever witnessed. Down there with Freddie Got Fingered, Spice World, Glitter, Showgirls and other crap. Shame on you!
Kutcher and Murphy do have a strong screen chemistry, and this movie does have a decent script with some funny moments, it just doesn't do anything new, which leaves it feeling just a little too familiar, to be considered a really good film.
It's well made, funny and entertaining; it's just not special.
A coupe of shack-ups get married, decide that they have strong differences, and fight throughout their honeymoon. They make up at the end. And in real life would live a hellish existence.
Truly not worth anyone's time. The movie isn't funny, sexy, or even interesting.
But my hat is off to the young actors for doing their best with very little to work with.
In the end, Kutcher is declaring his undying love for whatsherface for no clearer reason than he's young and the young are prone to cavalier promises about forever because they sampled so little of it. Which means they're not any further than where they started. But what did you expect from a romantic comedy?
If I remember correctly, the movies "Caffe America" exterior is actually the only gay bar in Venice.
I gave this movie a 5, since it held my attention (mostly because Ashton is so cute and seeing glimpses of him shirtless hold attention), but it's certainly nothing memorable.
It's just a ho-hum movie with nothing revolutionary or groundbreaking.
Oh, and I did laugh once. But, I can't even remember when.
This has all the comedy cliches; hijinks in an airplane bathroom, the cliche snooty french people, the stuffy rich family who hates the fiance for no particular reason other than he's poor, and the same stereotypes you'd expect to see in France.
Watch Ashton Kutcher do the same ridiculous yelling he tries to pull off as comedic with obvious lines like "Pussy has never hated me. Now I feel loved!" and then he screams some more, and then he delivers another line with a top of the lungs scream and then another painfully obvious line.
Kutcher is tolerable compared to Murphy who attempts to come off as adorable but instead is just irritating to the point where eating glass is more entertaining. She's rich but she dresses like a rather average girl, and giggles a lot.
I mean it; she giggles, and laughs, and chuckles and scoff like an airhead expecting the audience to find it simply adorable but it's just annoying, and I ain't buying it.
The two have zero chemistry and if that's not enough the movie doesn't put up much of an argument to get us to like these people; they're just rather annoying blips on the screen.
The dialogue is awful, the situations ridiculous, the acting is horrible with Kutcher doing his usual screaming at the top of his lungs to draw laughter, a quickly tiresome shtick along with Murphy who is way over the top with her performance in an attempt to channel Lucille Ball but comes off more as shrill.
The script never puts up an argument as to why they should be together, nor does it give us much of a plot except tiny little physical bits of comedy that fail on every level and measure with a usual obligatory happy ending that's so tacked on you're left wondering why you wasted so much time on these people in the first place.
Ashton may never be able to recover and his screaming thing for comedy will get old, but Murphy I hold hope for. Murphy, you're not Lucille Ball, so give it up and be yourself, eh?
(* out of ****)
Ashton Kutcher's Tom is an uncultured dimbulb -- but he makes up for that by being petulant, whiny, selfish, and short-tempered. His wife says that she loves him, but it's hard to understand why -- apart from a nice smile, he has nothing to recommend him.
Most of the gags in the movie are third-rate retreads of other Americans-in-Europe movies (They have tiny cars! French people are snooty!). Amazingly, this is actually a worse entry to the genre than "National Lampoon's European Vacation".
The best metaphor for the movie is the tiny car the couple drive when they arrive in Europe. It's slow-moving, underpowered, and you'll wish you hadn't rented it. (Oh, and it's not a place you'd like to be trapped with Ashton Kutcher).
"Just Married"¨ is the story of the romance between Tom Leezak (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah McNerney (Brittany Murphy). Tom, the graveyard shift traffic announcer on KNR radio, is just an average Joe. A recent college graduate who lives at a beach loft with his best friend and thinks the finer things in life include anything with ESPN. Sarah is on the opposite side of the looking glass. The daughter of the wealthy owner of the Los Angeles sporting teams, Sarah is accustomed to having the luxuries of life. But in Tom, she sees a different cut from the run-of-the-mill aristocrats she has dated and the two are soon married. But on their European honeymoon, the couple immediately begins to experience problems. From difficulties with a European outlet to questions with marital fidelity, the newlyweds soon ponder the question that everyone has been asking, 'Are they too young to be married'?
"Just Married" is a very enjoyable collaboration between director Shawn Levy (Big Fat Liar) and screenwriter Sam Harper (Rookie of the Year). Levy's skill behind the camera is key in bringing comedic success to the movies many pratfalls and hits. One such usage is of a split screen as Tom and Sarah attempt to consummate their marriage on the airplane. Harper's script, while at times seems comically generic, is careful not to overrun gags. Harper also creates humorous dialogue between Tom and Sarah by implementing speeches that only man like Tom would consider on his honeymoon, I.E., does the hotel have satellite television and why doesn't the French hotel have signs in English.
Harper's contrasting characters are brought to life by the outlandish slapstick of Ashton Kutcher and the sweetness of Brittany Murphy. Kutcher's antics establish the mentality and character of Leezak and display Kutcher's potential to be a rising star in the industry. But Kutcher does not merely rely on his comedic behavior in the film. Kutcher also shows that despite Tom's ignorance, he truly loves his new wife and would do anything to make her happy. Murphy is equally good in her role as Sarah. Despite Sarah's prosperous upbringing, Murphy plays the character as a person very down to earth where wealth has not spoiled her. She is neither cruel nor snobbish and the audience can feel the genuine love she has for her husband. Audiences will be able to sympathize with Murphy when she experiences heartache and fall in love with her when she readily forgives her husbands behavior.
"Just Married" is a wonderfully surprising romantic comedy. It differs from the usual lovey-dovey recipe and adds more outrageous events that may occur in a courtship and marriage. Kutcher and Murphy make a superb comedic team and do the film justice with their performances. Although Kutcher is known for his roles as a dim-witted male, he adds to his character by adding loyalty and love. Murphy is also great as the contrasting better half. Despite the films silliness, it does deliver a final message of love and devotion that makes the movie appeal to the male and female audience. Movie lovers of comedy will not be disappointed nor will the romantics. Like a perfect marriage, "Just Married" is equally balanced.
Now to the story. Well, there isn't much to say except it was predictable and not that funny. It reminded me of National Lampoon's European vacation except not as good. Two newlyweds go to Europe only to have mishap after mishap happen. The honeymoon turns into a disaster. The very, small yellow car was funny as well as the roaches. And I did like some of the songs in the film.
FINAL VERDICT: If you are a big fan of Ashton or Brittany, then you will probably want to see this. Otherwise, I wouldn't watch it because there are better teen comedies out there.
As I stated above, the story is simple. Two people meet by chance from opposite sides of the tracks and they fall in love. She's from a rich family. He's from a middle class home. Naturally her family doesn't want her to marry him because they've always dreamed of the better guy with enough cash in his wallet to retire at the ripe old age of thirty-five. But this just won't due for the love hungry girl, so she excepts the proposal of her middle-class boyfriend. They get married and go on a honeymoon in Europe, but as nature intended, everything goes wrong. From a really small compact car, nearly burning down and destroying whatever hotel they are in, and even ending up in jail, this pair just can't seem to get things to work in their favor. They figure they better call it quits before it gets to late. But love is in their hearts, and after all, all you need is love. Every love has it's good days, and bad days. So they give it another chance. All's well that ends well. The director of Just Married is a man named, Shawn Levy, who has given us such masterpiece films as Big Fat Liar, and two other barely memorable theatrical films from 1997 entitled, Just In Time and Address Unknown. Not to mention, he's worked on such great television series' as Lassie (1997) and The Secret World of Alex Mack (1994). Okay, okay. Perhaps I'm being too hard on this film. Just Married did give a few cute moments that made me giggle. But overall, it's every bit as disappointing as it promised to be based on the trailers. Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are great actors. And you know what, I hope Ashton does keep making comedies because the guy is just naturally funny. But for the love of Pete, at least make a film that is actually funny. **