Rent it but don't rush out and buy it
Just Married (2003)
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Rent it but don't rush out and buy it
This movie very much does what it says on the tin. It doesn't claim to be an intellectual journey. It's just a bit of screen candyfloss. But for all that, I'd rate it as one of the better examples of its type.
Why? Because there are enough laughs to keep it going - especially in the first half of the film. And the two leads are likable enough. It has to be said that both look terrific, and Kutcher in particular has developed a very nice style in physical comedy.
The problem with all these kind of movies, for me, is that they tend to drag a bit as they reach the 1hour mark, and then you're sort of waiting for it to end. This is certainly the case here. But if you like to see goodlooking people in reasonably funny romantic situations, you can do a lot worse than this one.
Nevertheless I was surprised because despite some really hideous reviews and bad promos, the movie isn't awful. As a means of silly entertainment, it's sweet, good-natured and occasionally funny, even if all the gags are recycled from other flicks. I counted quite a few. The first fifteen minutes alone have: - Last regrets before the wedding (e.g. bride feels bad about keeping secrets from future husband, etc.) - Groom picks up bride to be romantic, ends up slapping her head against the door frame (also see...any other movie about newly married couples) - They try to have sex on an airplane, get limb(s) stuck in the toilet (also see "Vegas Vacation," which was a scene recycled from other films to begin with) - Mean airline stewardesses (also see "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" and "Meet the Parents" and "Midnight Run" and...) - Mix-up at the rental agency in terms of car/transportation, they end up with a lesser car (ripped right off of the aforementioned "P,T&A") - Get stuck in snow ("PT&A" again!) And so on and so forth...
Some of the gags are too crude and shouldn't be included - the pathetic joke about the vibrator as a honeymoon present is unnecessary. Sticking it into the wrong electrical current outlet is a good payoff, but I was expecting it to be handled funnier. It's a bit anti-climactic.
Overall this is an "embarrassing situation" comedy where lots and lots of bad stuff happens to people minding their own business. It's kind of like "Meet the Parents" - events continually spiralling out of control, bad luck for good people - but not as funny or well-developed. The characters are likable which helps out a lot. The direction isn't as bad as I expected.
But the script could have used polishing and the whole premise has been dealt with before. As a means of simple 90-minute entertainment, you could do a lot, lot worse (trust me!). But I'm just hoping they don't make another one. (I can see it now: "Just Parents," "Just Grandparents," "Just Divorced" and then "Just Deceased.")
WHY she actually loves her husband is unclear, just as it's unclear why newlyweds poor guy Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and rich girl Sarah (Brittany Murphy) team up. They don't know anything about each other, but get married anyway. OK, it's a mistake others have made, but things only get worse when they are fighting, screaming at each other, basicly hate each other, but in the end, as Sarah says to her father: Well, I just love him Jer... erm... dad.
The story is focussing on the honeymoon of Tom and Sarah. They decided to go to Europe, first stop: France. At this time around Kutcher's character is the most annoying one I have ever witnessed on screen. He's literally a European's nightmare of an American. He hates it that no-one speaks English (well, American anyway), hates the French customs, yells at the hotel manager while he just basicly destroyed the place, he's screaming at his wife for no reason... what fun is there to be married to this illiterate guy?
Things only get worse once they go to Venice, with Sarah meeting an old boyfriend of hers and Tom almost sleeping with a girl he picked up at a bar (he goes to all the time because they show American baseballmatches... screw those old churches!).
So, what happens really, is two people who are not fit for each other end up getting married, which is a huge mistake. Ok, let's go for it then. Make it some sort of War Of The Roses, or whatever. But no, there's always a feeling left in the movie that they will end up happily ever after, until that very last scene. I Just Love Him Daddy! YUCK!!!
Film not only lacking a good story, a good ending, good actors, good directing, but also some laughs (why would you call this one a comedy?) as it sure is one of the worst movies I have ever witnessed. Down there with Freddie Got Fingered, Spice World, Glitter, Showgirls and other crap. Shame on you!
Kutcher and Murphy do have a strong screen chemistry, and this movie does have a decent script with some funny moments, it just doesn't do anything new, which leaves it feeling just a little too familiar, to be considered a really good film.
It's well made, funny and entertaining; it's just not special.
A coupe of shack-ups get married, decide that they have strong differences, and fight throughout their honeymoon. They make up at the end. And in real life would live a hellish existence.
Truly not worth anyone's time. The movie isn't funny, sexy, or even interesting.
But my hat is off to the young actors for doing their best with very little to work with.
In the end, Kutcher is declaring his undying love for whatsherface for no clearer reason than he's young and the young are prone to cavalier promises about forever because they sampled so little of it. Which means they're not any further than where they started. But what did you expect from a romantic comedy?
If I remember correctly, the movies "Caffe America" exterior is actually the only gay bar in Venice.