That '80s Show (2002)
R.T. Howard: [referring to Tuesday's hair] Wow, how do you get it to stand up?
June Tuesday: How do *you* get it to stand up?
Permanent Record customer: Where can I find Duran Duran?
Corey Howard: Heads up! Punk rock rooster at twelve o'clock!
June Tuesday: Did you just make some stupid, middle-class comment about my hair?
Corey Howard: No.
June Tuesday: Oh. Well, what do you ask for? The Blue Lagoon?
Corey Howard: Well, what do you ask for? The Stegosaurus?
June Tuesday: Ow! I'm so not going to the prom with you.
[Corey is shaving, Katie walks in]
Katie Howard: I'll take that!
[Katie takes Corey's razor]
Corey Howard: What are you doing?
Katie Howard: I'm throwing it out because it's plastic, and non-biodegradable.
Corey Howard: Well,
[Corey holds up Katie's razor]
Corey Howard: why aren't you throwing out your razor?
Katie Howard: Because I'm an environmentalist.
[Katie takes her razor]
Katie Howard: I'm just not ready to be a *hairy* environmentalist.
[Roger walks in]
Roger: Katie, have you got a couple minutes?
Katie Howard: Yes.
Roger: Do you consider yourself to be someone who -- knows a good value?
Katie Howard: Yes.
Roger: And if you could save some money, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
Katie Howard: Why, yes.
Roger: And if I said you could be driving a brand new car with no money down, you'd be interested, right?
Katie Howard: Yes.
Roger: Congratulations! You just bought a brand new car!
Katie Howard: I see what you did! That was very convincing.
Roger: Thank you.
[Roger begins to exit]
Katie Howard: What colour is it? What colour is my brand new car?
Roger: Doesn't matter, it's a done deal.
Katie Howard: It is not! I wanna see the manager!
Roger: Damn, I get that all the time!
Katie Howard: Hello! Do you think I could put one of these up?
[Katie holds up a poster]
June Tuesday: Let me guess... A Cindy Lauper look-a-like contest? I think you've got a lock on it!
Katie Howard: Uh, that's so mean! You must be Tuesday! I'm Katie, Corey's sister.
[Corey walks up]
Corey Howard: Oh, Earthday '84... Wow! It's early this year. - Still signing my checks Earthday '83.
[Corey laughs at his own joke]
Corey Howard: [Tuesday sarcastically laughs]
June Tuesday: That was funny... To no one!
Corey Howard: Wait a minute, you thought I was funny this morning when we were making fun of the yuppies.
June Tuesday: That was then... This is now.
Katie Howard: I think she likes you!
Sophia: You know, Corey, if we were still dating, I could get any of your songs played at this club.
Sophia: Oh, yeah, if we were still dating. Except, as I recall, you broke up with me and started dating my sister.
Corey Howard: We're not dating! It's more like harassment!
[Corey and Tuesday argue about coffee or something]
Corey Howard: Whatever Spikey Maggoo!
Margaret: Spikey Maggoo? Where'd you get that one from? Your Dad?
Corey Howard: [remains silent]
Margaret: Oh, my God, you did!
June Tuesday: So, why don't you tell your brother that's why I don't like hangin' out in his perfect little world. How's a person supposed to sleep when people aren't screaming at each other?
Katie Howard: Well, you should've been around when my parents were still together. They fought constantly. My mother's a control freak and my dad screws around.
Patty: Yeah, I think I slept with him.
Katie Howard: Did you and Corey have a fight?
June Tuesday: No, I just - I can't sleep. This house is so... quiet. You know, I'd - I'd love to hear just one little siren, or - or maybe a gunshot.
Margaret: Are you willing to blow this relationship because you want to make a stand about where you sleep?
June Tuesday: Maybe.
Margaret: Mmm-hmm. Trust me, you will be rewarded by the universe for your efforts as your souls merge into a brilliant cornucopia of light... I'm startin' to wonder if that was really an aspirin Zeke gave me.
Katie Howard: It's a fondue set! "Congratulations on your recent... nuptials." Did I get married?
Owen: Uh, well, some of the guys on the ship might think you did.
Katie Howard: Why would they think that?
Owen: 'Cause that's what I told them.
R.T. Howard: [talking about Patty] So, uh, that was Roger's girlfriend, huh?
Corey Howard: Yeah.
R.T. Howard: Yeah. Yeah, good for him... I think I had her.
Corey Howard: What?
R.T. Howard: Yeah, it was a few years ago on St. Patrick's Day. I was bombed on green beer, and she was as cute as a damn leprechaun.
Roger: Have either of you seen Patty?
Corey Howard: Have you seen Tuesday?
Owen: What about Katie?
Owen: Oh, my God. They've evacuated the women.
Roger: I gotta tell ya, I'm sort of enjoying this break from Patty. I'm not just on this planet to service her. I've got ideas to share and wisdom to impart.
Owen: What should I do about Katie?
Roger: I don't know, man, I got my own problems!
Corey Howard: What am I supposed to do, huh? Live in a dump and drink out of bug candles the rest of my life? You know what I ought to tell her tomorrow at work? Done. Forget it. It's over. Because if she rejects my family, she rejects me.
Roger: What is this, Godfather III?
Margaret: Corey, go out back and spot Zeke on the ladder. I need you to keep an eye on him. Sometimes he thinks he can fly.
June Tuesday: So, what, you want me to stay at your house with you and your family?
Corey Howard: Well, we don't all sleep in the same room, you know. Come on, it'll be fun. We have doors.
Katie Howard: Have a cupcake. I made them with my new muffin pans. They were a wedding present we received from the ship's chaplain.
Owen: Oh, Father Chip. That's so nice.
Katie Howard: Owen, you lied to a man of the cloth! We are not married!
Owen: And whose fault is that?