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8 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

I Rather Enoyed It!

Author: Pretentious_crap from United States
10 June 2010

While it's easy to knock on the paper mache monsters which ooze red gelatin and giblets nicked from a butcher shop's dumpster,keep in mind when viewing this movie Nathan Schiff made this as a high school student during 1979-- the age before digital camera and film editing software.I remember in high school when I tried to make movies that it was pretty hard to plan everything out, and to get people together to participate. I never got as far as Schiff did with "Weasels Rip My Flesh". What I find interesting is that he actually got adults to participate in this film, and his characters had motivation!

I'd compare this feel of this movie to something like a Polonia Brothers film, however this of course was made before the digital age by a high school student, and wasn't intentionally made to be bad.The badness of this movie is almost excusable, but still enjoyable because the pace stays at sort of jogging speed throughout the film.

I recommend "Weasels Rip My Flesh" to a select type of people, namely those who are fans of low-budget film, who understand a thing or two about movie making, who love to laugh, and who love drinking beer in the company of like minded people.

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8 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

is that a piece of gizzard sticking out?

4/10
Author: Burntout from Godzilla, Japan
16 March 2006

The debut film from underground horror film 'legend' Nathan Schiff. this is a crude little film...and that's putting it mildly. it isn't your typical B-movie. no, nowhere near. it's actually a Z-movie. as in, zero-budget. as in, no money was put into this and it shows and makes no bones about it. which is actually pretty cool with me. sometimes there's nothing better than wasting time watching total trash at 3 or 4 in the morning. except, i watched it at 10 pm tonight...but that's not the point. no, the point is that there is no point. to this movie. or review. if you really like ed wood movies, um...you still might not appreciate this. the only way you'll enjoy this is if you like z-movies. i mean this is horrid quality crap we're talking about.

the music is bad. the dubbing is bad. the editing is bad. the acting is non-existent. the plot is barely there. the monsters are laughably pathetic.

but there is some nice gore. very fake, but nice and gory nonetheless. they seem to really enjoy ripping off people's and things' arms. a lot. which became kind of tedious...but the final arm ripping scene in this movie is fantabulous. it made it all worthwhile and left me smiling and laughing. out loud. which doesn't happen often. unless i'm drunk.

OK, i was kinda tipsy. but that's not the point. like i said, there is no point.

it's only 67 minutes long so it didn't feel like an eternity like some z-movies. despite the low score, i still enjoyed this experience. i may even rewatch it one more time in the future. but not much more than that. it is after all a total and complete time waster.

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6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Weasels Ate My Script

2/10
Author: stmichaeldet (stmichaeldet@yahoo.com) from Detroit, MI, USA
20 February 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

So, you're thinking of watching Weasels Rip My Flesh, are you? Well, ask yourself this - how much pain can you take, bucko? 'Cause this ain't no ordinary film, no sir. Y'ever see one of those "outsider" art shows - the paintings with the cheap materials, crude figures, no perspective, and weirdly distorted sense of space creating an effect only slightly better than what's posted on grandma's refrigerator, and the highest praise you can muster is to commend the artists on their determination in the face of their obvious lack of talent or training? This is the cinematic equivalent.

Normally, this would be the point where I would give a little recap of the plot, but that's not really possible, as there isn't much of one. There's lots of nice, loooong shots of trees and brush, interspersed with scenes involving characters doing senseless things and then dying or otherwise dropping out of the film entirely. But, basically, a weasel is exposed to radioactive slime from Venus (don't ask), and goes around killing people. Then two Agents show up and fight with an utterly non-scientific-looking Mad Scientist in the least-laboratory-looking laboratory set I've ever seen in my life. The Mad uses weasel blood to change Agent Sidekick into a gray carrot-creature, the monsters fight, Agent Mustache fights the Mad, many people lose many limbs, the special effects department opens another can of Chef Boyardee, then we get the Lamest Shock Ending of All Time, and roll credits.

Of course, I'm leaving out the drunk college girls killed by a weasel-rabies-infected madman (which occurs before the weasel itself is mutated - huh?), the gripping rocket-to-Venus sequence, the two guys who dissect a severed weasel-limb in their kitchen, with tragic results, the unknown woman on a table in the not-lab, the bike-riding kids, and who knows what else, but none of those scenes really amount to anything, anyway.

If that's not enough to put you off your feed, check out the imaginative, yet ultimately pathetic, use of props. Hypodermic needles are stored in beer steins, pasta tongs (or maybe a hair clip?) serve as the Venus probe's robot arm, and my favorite - the duct-tape covered shoebox with "DANGER RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS" (or some such - I'm not going back to search the disc now) crudely magic-markered on the lid. Really gives you that high-tech NASA feel.

On the plus side . . . Hmmm. OK, there's a crashing-rocket's-eye-view shot that's kinda interesting, but only because it's hard to figure how they did it at their bottom-feeder level of production. The thick Long Island and Jersey accents of some of the actors are occasionally diverting. And, we get not one, but three Ron Jeremy look-a-likes in the cast! OK, one's kinda more Gabe Kaplan, but still, it should count for something.

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10 out of 16 people found the following review useful:

Criminal

1/10
Author: capncrusty from United States
4 March 2008

Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. EVER. Seriously. Well into the negative stars for worst plot, worst acting, worst monster, worst special effects, worst mad scientist, worst illicit laboratory, worst secret agents, and worst accents--New Yawk positively dripped from each syllable. Okay, maybe Joisey, too. Overall, I'd have to say that if a dozen mentally-deficient eight-year-olds on a terminal sugar-and-Ritalin binge had made "Weasels Rip My Flesh (more accurately, "Movie Ate 75 Minutes of My Life") with some WWII vintage 8mm film, a pile of butcher-shop leavings and a buck ninety-five, it couldn't have been worse. Ed Wood would have shot himself if he had been connected to this gobbler. It was made as a joke? Sorry, but it flopped. Whatever else you may do in your life, MISS THIS. Don't even watch it for a MST3K fest unless you have plenty of mind-altering substances available and a group of 'bots with absolutely no self-respect or taste whatsoever. Bad. Bad bad bad bad bad BAD. I won't even mention the blatant rip-off of the end-theme from "One Step Beyond". Okay, so I did. So sue me...JUST DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. You have been warned. I disavow any further responsibility.

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6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

Ultra low-budget gore flick.

5/10
Author: HumanoidOfFlesh from Chyby, Poland
24 January 2005

"Weasels Rip My Flesh" is an entertaining,albeit extremely low-budget debut of Nathan Schiff,the New York film-maker behind "Long Island Cannibal Massacre" and "They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore".A NASA shuttle collects some goop that looks like egg yolks from Venus then,on the way back,crashes into a pond and its radioactive contents end up all over a weasel that looks like a deformed teddy bear.Two cops stumble upon a secret lab and do battle with a mad scientist Dr.Sendam,who performs an experiments with the weasel's blood."Weasels Rip My Flesh" is a homemade horror film that certainly delivers plenty of cruddy gore.The sound sucks,the acting is awful and the script is hilariously bad,but if you like Z-grade horror cinema give this one a look.5 out of 10.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Impressive for a sixteen-year-old

7/10
Author: TheRetardedVacuum
18 October 2013

I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that Nathan Schiff was sixteen when he made this movie, and he was able to get adult actors and crew to work for free in his movie, now that's an accomplishment!

As far as the movie itself... let me try to explain it. The movie opens with a Manos-style opening sequence (though not nearly as long) with a voice that sounds like it was recorded over a phone reciting a speech about "life and it's purpose" that's way too deep for a movie called Weasels Rip My Flesh. Then two drunk girls enter a house, then get killed with a knife by some guy with frosting on his hands. After the opening credits, there is a model spaceship with rocks on fire sitting next to it on top of a black garbage bag. The movie then shows a guy walking in a completely black atmosphere and picking up a sample of green slime and puts it into a container. The model rocket then takes off into space and crashes on earth in the water.

As we find out later, turns out the model rocket was supposed to be a real rocket ship, and the rocks on fire on top of a black garbage bag, that was the planet Venus. A NASA space rocket was on an expedition to Venus to collect a highly radioactive specimen, and upon returning to earth, crashed into a lake.

Two boys then find containers of the stuff in the water, one of the boys gets bit by an animal, the other boy finds it's hole and pours the stuff into it (sorry if that sounds wrong). The weasel inside (which looks like it's decaying and was probably made with paper Mâché) gets the stuff on him and transforms into a giant monster and runs loose. Then some interesting stuff happens, I don't want to spoil it.

Some of the stuff I said in the plot description, you wouldn't know this is what is happening unless you rewound over and over again and studied the scenes hard because some scenes are shot in such a strange way or are so blurred that you can't tell what the heck is going on. I had to rewind the movie about four times before I realized that what looked like a pile of blood, discarded body parts and pus that then transformed into a monster was in fact the weasel.

Don't let that fool you though, I really did like this movie. It's really silly, surprisingly entertaining and it has a surprisingly fair amount of gore. It's really worth watching for the climactic battle and the ending alone. Looking forward to watching Nathan Schiff's other movie They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

A Different Kind of Animal

6/10
Author: gavin6942 from United States
28 October 2014

Returning from the planet Venus, an errant NASA spacecraft crashes into the ocean, spilling its radioactive cargo. Enveloped by a radioactive mass, a rabid weasel is transformed into a gigantic killer mutant.

A film named for the Frank Zappa album "Weasels Ripped My Flesh", and directed, written, produced by a teenager with a Super-8 camera? With a budget of only $400? How can that be bad? Although that is some sarcasm, in all honesty, worse films have been made. Even Brian Ritchie of the Violent Femmes made a movie ("Red Eyes") that is of comparable quality, focused on blurry images at the Waupaca bowling alley. So, apparently, a 16-year old kid has as much talent as a world-famous musician.

You might mock the effects, the beast, but in all fairness some of Roger Corman's early work looked worse. This kid has talent, whether we like it or not.

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This one's as bad as they get.

5/10
Author: Scott LeBrun (Hey_Sweden) from Canada
3 June 2015

A NASA space probe returns from Venus, carrying a cargo of radioactive goop. When it crashes back onto Earth, the goop is allowed to infect the nearest possible victim: a weasel. The weasel was already not doing so hot since it was rabid in the first place. It is then transformed into a big ugly mutant monster that claims a couple of victims. Not to fear, for an intrepid inspector named Cameron (John Smihula) is on the case.

Granted, it is cool that Nathan Schiff, apparently just 16 years old when this was made, was actually able to get this completed. That in itself is an achievement, especially if this little offering has attained any sort of cult status. That still doesn't negate the fact that, objectively speaking, the movie *is* a turd. It's a slowly paced, exposition heavy, terribly acted clunker with oodles of stock music, truly tacky special effects and splatter, and an inane script. It's hard to believe that "Weasels Rip My Flesh" is as crude as it is, until one sees it for themselves.

Still, it's somewhat fascinating in spite of itself. Hell, it's even pretty funny on occasion. Fred Borges is an absolute hoot as the deranged Dr. Sendam, who hopes to exploit the monster for his own ends. And it *does* have an absolutely hilarious twist ending.

Recommended only to the most patient and adventurous of B movie fanatics.

Five out of 10.

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Gut-busting Grade Z horror splatter trash

8/10
Author: Woodyanders (Woodyanders@aol.com) from The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left
26 May 2015

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A giant mutant weasel terrorizes a small town in Long Island. Mad scientist Dr. Sendam wants to use the weasel's regenerative blood in order to achieve immortality while an intrepid government agent tracks down the foul flesh-eating beast.

Man, does this uproariously awful atrocity possess as the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: We've got hopelessly ham-fisted (mis)direction by Nathan Schiff (who also wrote the nonsensical script), a slapdash narrative that plods along at a poky pace, lovably lousy (far from) special effects (the weasel puppet in particular looks uproariously fake), rank amateurish acting from a lame no-name cast sporting heavy upstate New York accents, oodles of cheesy over-the-top gore, ineptly staged monster attack set pieces, a cornball film library score, and ratty cinematography. Sure, this one is pure micro-budget schlock, but it nonetheless possesses a certain endearingly cruddy ramshackle charm that's impossible to either resist or dislike. An absolute hoot and a half!

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1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Ultra cheap z-grade movie.

6/10
Author: jimy23 from Ma
21 August 2012

This was Nathan Schiff first movie he was 16 when he made it and it cost 400$ to make but that seems like to much. This looks like it cost way less then 400 this is one of if not the cheapest movie i ever seen. Nathan Schiff is the Director of they don't cut the grass anymore and Long island cannibal massacre like those and other shot one video movies this is fun to watch and make fun of and it's not to take seriously i liked this more then some big budget mainstream films unlike mainstream Hollywood movies it's no big deal if it doesn't become a success it's to small and cheap to fail. The movie starts with a rocket ship flying from venus and crashing to earth some kids find some toxic slime the rocket was carrying and pour it in a weasels hole. The weasel become mutated and gain the ability the grow its limbs into other weasels when them come off. A mad scientist catches the weasel and plans use it's blood to become immortal but it's rabid so he needs pure blood to mix with the weasels blood. Then movie is so cheesy the scientist lair is in a basement the weasel is paper mache the rocket is a small model the only animals in the movie are a dog and a rat that suppose to be the weasel.If your a shot on video or bad movie buff this is a must see.

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