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The Santa Clause 2 (2002) Poster

Quotes

Toy Santa: You are a sad, strange little man!

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Charlie: Seeing isn't believing; believing is seeing.

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Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: I have to get married?

Bernard: Yes. It's the Mrs. Clause.

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Lucy: Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?

Scott Calvin: What makes you say that?

Lucy: Because you have a reindeer.

Scott Calvin: Lots of people have reindeer.

Lucy: Name five.

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Mother Nature: Don't mess with me, Santa. I'm pre-El Nino.

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Easter Bunny: I have 33,000 offspring, all in private school.

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Scott Calvin: [Going on a date] A needlepoint sweater and a mini-van. I'll be back in about eight minutes.

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Principal Carol Newman: Well, maybe if you spent more time with your son, there would be fewer problems.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Maybe, but then I wouldn't get to spend more time with you. It's always such a pleasure.

Principal Carol Newman: Oh, a battle of wits. It's a shame that you come unarmed.

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Lucy: [opening the door to see Curtis] Are you an elf?

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Why, no, of course not.

Lucy: Then why do you have pointy ears?

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Because I didn't eat my green vegetables. Do you eat your green vegetables?

Lucy: [covers her ears] Uncle Scott!

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Bernard: Curtis, you're 900-years-old, grow up!

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Scott Calvin: Wait a minute, I got it. I got it. I got it. How about this: The Molintator.

Tooth Fairy: The Molinator. I like it. Thank you, Santa. Can we vote right now on The Molinator?

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Scott Calvin: Neil, have you ever actually *helped* anyone?

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Toy Santa: The town will break our fall.

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Tracy: You know what, I totally put myself out there doing that, and that was not an easy thing to do, and if you're the kind of man that can't support a woman's ambition, then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.

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Picardo: Good morning, Principal Newman.

Principal Carol Newman: Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?

Picardo: It's dark... and it's cold.

Principal Carol Newman: It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up, and you will spend the rest of your life stabbing trash by the highway. Do I make myself clear?

Picardo: Yes.

Principal Carol Newman: So what are you gonna do?

Picardo: I'm going straight to third-period geometry.

Principal Carol Newman: Have a nice trip.

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Principal Carol Newman: I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?

Skateboarding Student: It's dark... and cold.

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Toy Santa: [after drinking hot cocoa] I think Santa feels a little buzz!

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Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Hey party animal, you wanna play?

Principal Carol Newman: [wondering how toys like Toss Across have magically appeared] I just can't figure it out.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: It's tic-tac-toe with beanbags.

Principal Carol Newman: No, I mean the Secret Santa thing. Someone tracked down and bought all those wonderful antique toys.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Probably someone that knows his way around eBay.

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Curtis, the Experimental Elf: A little altitude please!

Tooth Fairy: What?

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Could you possibly fly a *little* higher?

Tooth Fairy: What?

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Never mind.

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Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate!

Bernard: Oh really? This morning, he ate a bowl of wax fruit.

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[talking about the new toy santa]

Bernard: So I caution you all not to point,or stare, or use the word plastic!

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Bernard: Don't Listen to him! He's not the real Santa! He has a rubber face and a plastic tushie!

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Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Why didn't Bernard come tell me this?

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: He's under house arrest!

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: [shocked] Bernard?

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Principal Carol Newman: I owe you one.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: It's a great party. Look. That guy moved.

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Bernard: OK, Chet. This is it. You ready to rock and roll?

Principal Carol Newman: Chet?

Bernard: Yeah. He's still in training.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: How much flight time has he had?

Bernard: About a minute and a half.

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Yeah but he's had a lotta crash time.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Curtis.

Curtis, the Experimental Elf: He's just a baby.

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Chet: [after crashing into Scott/Santa] Ooh Chet done a doo doo.

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Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Hey Cupid, why don't you shoot me with one of your darts and then I'll fall in love?

Cupid: First of all, they're not darts, they're arrows. Second of all, no can do.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: Why not?

Cupid: Because they have no effect on us. Believe me, if they did, I would've shot myself in the butt, met a nice girl, left business years ago.

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Abby: It's... Charlie.

Scott Calvin/Santa Claus: [Obliviously] Sheen? I thought he straightened out?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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