Professor Snape: [taps the blank Marauder's Map with his wand] Reveal your secrets.
[writing appears on the map]
Professor Snape: Read it.
Harry: "Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and... "
Professor Snape: Go on.
Harry: "... and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Ron: [sitting bolt upright in bed] Spiders... the spiders... they want me to tap-dance. And I don't want to tap-dance!
Harry: You tell those spiders, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, tell them... I'll tell them...
[falls straight back asleep]
Dumbledore: A child's voice, however honest and true, is meaningless to those who've forgotten how to listen.
Dumbledore: [to Professor Snape] For in dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud.
Malfoy: Ah, come to see the show?
Hermione: [shouts] You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!
[Hermione raises her wand at Malfoy. He backs against the wall, whimpering]
Ron: Hermione, no! He's not worth it.
[Hermione lowers her wand and turns away. Malfoy starts laughing, she spins around and socks him in the nose]
Vincent Crabbe: Malfoy! Are you okay? Come on, let's go!
Malfoy: [running away] Quick! Not a word to anyone! Understood?
Hermione: That felt good.
Ron: Not good, brilliant!
Professor Snape: Expelliarmus! Ah, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you.
Professor Snape: I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend enter the castle and now here's the proof.
Sirius Black: Brilliant, Snape - once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to.
Professor Snape: [raises his wand at Black] Give me a reason. I beg you.
Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool...
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.
Professor Lupin: Sirius, be quiet!
Sirius Black: Be quiet yourself, Remus!
Professor Snape: Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple.
Sirius Black: Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?
Professor Snape: [puts his wand to Black's throat] I could do it, you know... But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you.
Professor Snape: Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah, yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness, but I'll do my best.
Sirius Black: I expect you're tired of hearing this, but you look so like your father. Except your eyes. You have...
Harry: My mother's eyes.
Sirius Black: It's cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in here.
[puts his hand to Harry's heart]
Stan Shunpike: What you doin' down there?
Harry: I fell over.
Stan Shunpike: What you fell over for?
Harry: I didn't do it on purpose.
Stan Shunpike: Well come on then! Let's not wait for the grass to grow!
Ron: [when Harry and Hermione reappear] How did you get there? I... I was talking to you there! And now you're there!
Hermione: What's he talking about Harry?
Harry: I dunno. Honestly Ron, how can people be in two places at once?
Hermione: Ow! That looks really painful.
Ron: So painful. They... they might chop it.
Hermione: I'm sure Madame Pomfrey can fix it in a heartbeat.
Ron: It's too late. It's ruined. It'll have to chopped off.
Professor Snape: Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we?
Hermione: It's meant to be the most haunted building in Britain. Did I mention that?
Hermione: Oh. Do you want to move a bit closer?
Hermione: To the Shrieking Shack.
Ron: Oh, no. I'm fine here.
Harry: He was their friend, and he betrayed them. He was their *friend*! I hope he finds me! Cause when he does, I'm gonna be ready. When he does, I'm gonna kill him!
Professor Trelawney: Your aura is pulsing! Are you in the beyond? I think you are!
Professor Trelawney: Look at the cup, tell me what you see!
Ron: Oh yeah... well, Harry's got a sort of wonky cross... that's trials and suffering. And, uh, that there could be the sun, and that's happiness, so... you're gonna suffer... but you're gonna be happy about it...
Ron: [looking at Lupin who has just turned into a werewolf] Nice doggie... nice doggie...
Dumbledore: A word of caution: dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It's not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. But you know happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.
Harry: Professor Trelawney?
Professor Trelawney: [in a deep, raspy voice] He will return tonight! He who betrayed his friends - whose heart rots with murder! Innocent blood shall be shed and servant and master shall be reunited once moooooooore!
Professor Trelawney: Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Did you say something?
Harry: I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.
Hermione: Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
Harry: I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.
Ron: I still think it's brilliant.
Ron: She's gone mental, Hermione has. I mean, not that she wasn't always mental, but now it's out in the open for everyone to see!
Stan Shunpike: Take her away, Ern.
Shrunken Head: [With a Jamaican accent] Yeah, take it away, Ernie! Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks! It's going be a bumpy ride!
Peter Pettigrew: What would you have done, Sirius?
Sirius Black: I would have died! I would have died rather than betray my friends, as we would have done for you!
Fat Lady in Painting: [sings while holding a glass] Ah ah ah AH!
Harry: Fortuna Major.
Fat Lady in Painting: No, wait, wait!
[sings again, higher]
Fat Lady in Painting: Ah ah ah AH!
Harry: Fortuna Major.
Fat Lady in Painting: Wait!
[sings again, highest]
Fat Lady in Painting: Ah ah ah AAAAAAAAAAAH!
[holds the note, looks around to make sure nobody's watching, then smashes the glass on the edge of the painting]
Fat Lady in Painting: Oh, amazing! And just with my voice!
Harry: Fortuna Major.
Fat Lady in Painting: Yes, all right, all right, you can go in.
Harry: Thank you!
Fat Lady in Painting: Plebs.
Professor Lupin: [Harry's turned up to visit him after the battle in the woods] I saw you coming.
[points to Marauder's Map]
Professor Lupin: I've looked worse, believe me.
Hogwarts Choir: [singing] In the cauldron boil and bake / Fillet of a fenny snake / Scale of dragon, Tooth of wolf / Witches, mummy, maw and gulf / Double, double, toil and trouble / Fire burn and cauldron bubble! / Double, double, toil and trouble / Fire burn and cauldron bubble! / Double, double, toil and trouble / Fire burn and cauldron bubble! / Something wicked this way comes!
Harry: Professor, can I ask you something?
Professor Lupin: You want to know why I stopped you facing that boggart, yes? I would have thought that would be obvious - I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Voldemort.
Harry: I did think of Voldemort - at first. But then I remembered that night on the train... and the dementor...
Professor Lupin: I'm very impressed. That suggests that what you fear most of all... is fear itself. This is very wise.
[the Fat Lady has finally let them into Gryffindor Tower; both Harry and Seamus are talking at the same time]
Harry: She's still doing it, after three years, I mean...
Seamus Finnegan: I can't believe she still does that...
Sirius Black: It's beautiful, isn't it? I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man.
Sirius Black: That was a noble thing you did back there. He doesn't deserve it.
Harry: Well, I just didn't think my dad would've wanted his two best friends to become killers. Besides, dead the truth dies with him. Alive, you're free.
Harry: Tell me about Peter Pettigrew!
Professor Lupin: He was at school witth us, we thought he was our friend.
Harry: No, Pettigrew's dead.
Harry: You killed him.
Professor Lupin: No he didn't! I thought so too, until you mentioned seeing Pettigrew on the map.
Harry: The map was lying, then.
Sirius Black: The map never lies! Pettigrew's alive.
Hermione: [after Hagrid gives Ron Scabbers back] I think you owe someone an apology.
Ron: Right. Next time I see Crookshanks, I'll let him know.
Hermione: [annoyed] I meant me!
Ron: I'm warning you Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!
Hermione: It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.
Ron: A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.
Hermione: That's rich, coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. It's alright, Crookshanks. Just ignore the mean little boy.
Cornelius Fudge: [just after Buckbeak's escape] We must search the grounds!
Dumbledore: Search the *skies* if you must, Minister, but now I think I'll have a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, and executioner, your services are no longer required. Thank you.
Hagrid: You'll find no small glasses in *this* house.
Harry: And now we wait?
Hermione: And now we wait.
[they sit down end of scene]
Sirius Black: Enough talk,Remus! C'mon, let's kill him!
Professor Lupin: Wait!
Sirius Black: I did my waiting! Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!
Professor Lupin: Very well, kill him. But wait one more minute. Harry has the right to know why.
Harry: I know why! You betrayed my parents! You're the reason they're dead!
Professor Lupin: No, Harry, it wasn't him! Somebody did betray your parents, but it was somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead.
Harry: Who was it then?
Sirius Black: Peter Pettigrew! And he's in this room, right now! Come out, come out, Peter! Come out and play!
Harry: [voice-over] I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
[writing appears, and the credits roll to end]
Harry: Mischief managed.
[the writing on the parchment fades away]
[fade to black]
Harry: What's the holdup?
Ron: Probably Neville's forgotten the password again.
Neville Longbottom: [behind them] Hey!
Ron: Oh... You're there...
Ron: I didn't mean to open it.
Ron: It was badly wrapped.
Ron: [points at Fred and George] They made me do it!
Professor Lupin: Now repeat after me - without wands please - repeat after me, Riddikulus.
Professor Lupin: Very good. A little louder please, and very clearly. Rid-di-kulus.
Malfoy: [under his breath] This class is ridiculous.
Dumbledore: Mysterious thing, time. Powerful, and when meddled with, dangerous. Sirius Black is in the topmost cell of the dark tower. You know the laws, Miss Granger. You must not be seen, and you would do well, I feel, to return before this last chime. If not, the consequences are too ghastly to discuss. If you succeed tonight, more than one innocent life may be spared. Three turns, should do it, I think.
[He starts to exit, turns back]
Dumbledore: Oh, by the way. When in doubt, I find retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin. Good luck.
Ron: What the bloody hell was that all about?
Hermione: If you're going to kill Harry you'll have to kill us too!
Sirius Black: No, only one will die tonight.
Harry: Then it'll be you!
[after being "attacked" by Buckbeak the hippogriff]
Malfoy: You're going to regret this.
Hagrid: Class dismissed.
Malfoy: You and your bloody chicken.
Fred Weasley: Nice try Harry, but not good enough
Harry: Come on guys, I'm trying to get to Hogsmeade
George Weasley: If you'll stop squirming, we have a better way...
Harry: Guys, come on...
Fred Weasley: Awwh, bless him
George Weasley: Now Harry...
Ron: [as Harry lays unconcious] Looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?
Fred Weasley: Peaky? What'd you expect him to look like? He fell fifty feet.
George Weasley: Yeah, c'mon, Ron. We'll walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see how you come out looking.
Harry: Probably a right sight better than he normally does.
[he opens his eyes to see everyone is with him]
Hermione: Harry! How are you feeling?
Harry: [he slips on his glasses] Brilliant.
Fred Weasley: Gave us a right good scare, mate.
Harry: What happened?
Ron: You fell off your broom.
Harry: Really? I meant the match. Who won?
[silence, no one is answering]
Hermione: No one blames you, Harry. The Dementors aren't meant to come on the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. After he saved you, he sent them straight off.
Ron: There's something else you should know, Harry. Your Nimbus - when it blew away? - it sort of landed in the Whomping Willow. And well...
[he hands Harry his broken broom stick]
Harry: Now what?
Hermione: We save Sirius.
Hermione: No idea.
Professor Snape: Which one of you can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
[Hermione raises her hand]
Professor Snape: [without turning around] No-one? How disappointing.
Harry: Excuse me, sir. Where's Professor Lupin?
Professor Snape: That's really none of your concern is it, Potter?
Harry: Egypt, huh? What's it like?
Ron: Brilliant! Loads of cool stuff. Mummies, tombs. Even Scabbers enjoyed himself.
Hermione: You know, the Egyptians used to worship cats.
Ron: Yeah, along with the dung beetle.
Hermione: Beautiful day.
Ron: Gorgeous. Unless of course you've been ripped to pieces.
Harry: Ripped to pieces? What are you talking about?
Hermione: Ronald has lost his rat.
Ron: I haven't lost anything! Your cat killed him!
Ron: Harry, you've seen the way that blood thirsty beast of hers is always lurking about. And now Scabbers is gone!
Hermione: Well maybe you should learn to take better care of your pets!
Ron: Your cat killed him!
Hermione: Did not!
Harry: "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauder's Map."
George Weasley: We owe them so much.
Harry: Hang on. This is Hogwarts. And that... No. Is that really...?
Fred Weasley: Dumbledore.
George Weasley: In his study.
Fred Weasley: Pacing.
George Weasley: Does that a lot.
Harry: So you mean this map shows...?
Fred Weasley: Everyone.
George Weasley: Everyone.
Fred Weasley: Where they are.
George Weasley: What they're doing.
Fred Weasley: Every minute.
George Weasley: Of every day.
Harry: Brilliant! Where'd you get it?
Fred Weasley: Nicked it from Filch's office, of course, first year.
George Weasley: Now, listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the castle. We'd recommend...
Fred Weasley: The One-Eyed Witch passageway.
George Weasley: It'll lead you straight to Honeyduke's cellar.
Fred Weasley: We best hurry. Filch is heading this way.
George Weasley: Oh, and Harry, don't forget. When you're done, just give it a tap and say...
Cornelius Fudge: Now write your name only.
Dumbledore: It's quite a long name.
Uncle Vernon: You bring her back! You bring her back now, you put her right!
Harry: No! She deserved what she got! Keep away from me.
Uncle Vernon: You're not allowed to do magic outside of school.
Harry: Yeah? Try me.
Uncle Vernon: They won't take you back now! You've nowhere to go!
Harry: I don't care! Anywhere's better than here.
Mr. Arthur Weasley: Harry, there are some within the Ministry who would strongly discourage me from divulging what I'm about to reveal to you, but I think that you need to know the facts. You are in danger. Grave danger.
Harry: Has this anything to do with Sirius Black?
Mr. Arthur Weasley: What do you know about Sirius Black, Harry?
Harry: Only that he's escaped from Azkaban.
Mr. Arthur Weasley: Do you know why? Thirteen years ago, when you stopped...
- don't say his name.
Mr. Arthur Weasley: When you stopped You-Know-Who, Black lost everything. But to this day, he still remains a faithful servant. And his mind you are the only thing that stands in the way of You-Know-Who returning to power. And that is why he has escaped from Azkaban. To find you...
Harry: And kill me.
Mr. Arthur Weasley: Harry, I want you to swear to me that whatever you might hear, you won't go looking for Black.
Harry: Mr. Weasley, why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?
Professor Snape: A remarkable feat, don't you think? To enter the castle on ones own, completely undetected?
Professor Snape: Any theories on how he might have managed it?
Dumbledore: Many. Each as unlikely as the next.
Professor Snape: You may recall, prior to the start of term, I expressed concern about the appointment of Professor...
Dumbledore: Not a single person inside this castle would help Sirius Black to enter it. No, I'm quite convinced the castle is safe, and I'm more than willing to send the students back to their houses.
Professor Snape: What about Potter? Should he be warned?
Dumbledore: Perhaps, but for now let him sleep.
Harry: What happened to me?
Ron: Well, you sort of went rigid. We thought maybe you were having a fit or something.
Harry: And did either of you two, you know, pass out?
Ron: No... I felt weird though, like I'd never be cheerful again.
Harry: But someone was screaming... a woman...
Hermione: No one was screaming, Harry.
Hermione: [laughing, mocking Professor Trelawney] Broaden your minds! Use your inner eye to see the future!
Ron: Listen to the idiot! He's really laying it on thick, isn't he?
Harry: At least Hagrid didn't get fired.
Hermione: Yeah, but I hear Draco's father's furious. We haven't heard the end of this.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Years ago, when Potter's parent's were marked for death, do you remember? They went into hiding. Few knew where they were. One who did was Sirius Black. And he told You-Know-Who!
Cornelius Fudge: Not only did Black lead You-Know-Who to the Potters that night, he also killed one of their friends, Peter Pettigrew.
Madame Rosmerta: Peter Pettigrew?
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Little lump of a boy, always following after Sirius Black.
Madame Rosmerta: Oh, I remember him. Never let James and Sirius out of his sight. But what happened?
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Well Peter Pettigrew tried to warn the Potters, and might have managed to if he hadn't run into an old friend.
Madame Rosmerta: Mhm, Sirius Black.
Cornelius Fudge: Black was vicious. He didn't kill Pettigrew, he destroyed him. A finger. That's all that was left, a finger. Nothing else.
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Sirius Black may not have put his hands to the Potters, but he's the reason they're dead.
Cornelius Fudge: And now he wants to finish what he started.
Hermione: [to Lupin] I trusted you! And all this time you've been his friend!
Harry: There's Pettigrew.
Hermione: Harry, you can't!
Harry: Hermione, that's the man who betrayed my parents! You don't expect me to just sit here!
Hermione: Yes, you must! Harry, you're in Hagrid's hut now. If you just go bursting in you'll think you've gone mad! Awful things happen to wizards who've meddled with time. We can't be seen.
Harry: But you're innocent!
Sirius Black: And you know it. And for now, that'll do.
Stan Shunpike: Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor this evening.
Harry: You were right, Hermione! It wasn't my dad I saw earlier! It was me! I saw myself conjuring the patronus before! I knew I could do it this time, because... well, because I'd already done it! Does that make sense?
Hermione: No! But I DON'T LIKE FLYING!
[screams as Buckbeak dives]
[the train has stopped]
Ron: There's something moving out there.
Professor Lupin: The very first time I saw you Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother; Lily's. Yes, I knew her. You mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves. Your father, James, however, had a certain, shall we say, talent for trouble. A talent, rumor has it, he passed onto you. You're more like them then you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much.
Harry: What are you doing?
Hermione: Saving your life!
Harry: Thanks!... Great, now he's coming at us!
Hermione: Yeah, didn't think about that... run!
Shrunken Head: [while the Knight Bus is compressing itself to squeeze between two buses] Why the long faces?
Harry: Professor, why do the dementors affect me so? More than anyone else, I mean?
Professor Lupin: Listen, dementors are among the foulest creatures to walk this earth. They feed on every good feeling, every happy memory until a person is left with nothing but his worst experiences. The dementors affect you more than others because there are true horrors in your past, horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. You are not weak, Harry. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Harry: I'm scared, Professor.
Professor Lupin: Well, I'd consider you a fool if you weren't.
Professor Lupin: Come in. Now, I haven't the faintest idea Harry how this map came to be in your possession, quite frankly I am astounded that you didn't hand it in. Did it never occur to you that this in the hands of Sirius Black is a map to you?
Harry: No, sir.
Professor Lupin: No. You know, your father never set much store by the rules either. But he and your mother gave their lives to save yours. And gambling their sacrifice by wandering around the castle, unprotected, with a killer on the loose seems to me to be a pretty poor way to repay them. Now, I will not cover for you again, Harry, do you hear me? I want you to return to your dormitory and stay there. And don't take any detours. If you do, I shall know.
[taps the map]
Professor Lupin: I shall know.
Cornelius Fudge: As the Minister of Magic, it is my duty to inform you, Mr. Potter, that earlier this evening your uncle's sister was located a little south of Sheffield, circling a chimney stack. The Accidental Magic Reversal department was dispatched immediately, she has been properly punctured and her memory modified. She will have no recollection of the event whatsoever so that's that and no harm done. Pea soup?
Harry: No, thank you. Minister?
Cornelius Fudge: Yes?
Harry: I don't understand.
Cornelius Fudge: Understand?
Harry: I broke the law. Underage wizards aren't allowed to use magic at home.
Cornelius Fudge: Come now Harry, the Ministry doesn't send people to Azkaban for blowing up their aunts.
Ron: Who do you think that is?
Hermione: Professor R. J. Lupin.
Ron: Do you know everything?
Ron: How is it she knows everything?
Hermione: [annoyed] It's on his suitcase, Ronald.
Professor Trelawney: Here in this room, you will discover if you possess the Sight!
[stands up, and promptly bumps into her table]
Hermione: [to Buckbeak] Come on Buckbeak! Come and get the nice dead ferret!
Professor Lupin: What frightens you most in the world?
Neville Longbottom: [mumbling] Pfsr Snpe.
Professor Lupin: I'm sorry?
Neville Longbottom: Professor Snape.
Professor Lupin: Professor Sna- yes, he frightens all.
Harry: [seeing himself in the past] That's us! This is not *normal*.
Malfoy: [outside the shrieking shack to Ron and Hermione] Well, well. Look who's here - you two shopping for your new dream home? Bit grand for you, isn't it, Weasel-Bee? Don't your family all sleep in... one room?
Professor Snape: Potter, what are you doing wandering the corridors at night?
Harry: Nothing... I was sleepwalking.
Professor Snape: How extraordinarily like your father you are Potter, he too was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle.
Harry: My Dad didn't strut, and nor do I. Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
Harry: He's free. We did it.
Dumbledore: Did what? Good night.
Harry: It's not... happy. Well, it is, it's the happiest I've ever felt. But it's complicated.
Professor Lupin: Is it strong?
[Hermione looks at Ron's broken leg, and they flirt by mimicking Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson]
Hermione: Ow! That looks really painful.
Ron: It's sorta painful. They uh, they might... chop it.
Hermione: I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat.
Ron: It's too late, it's ruined. It'll have to be chopped off.
Aunt Marge: They use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?
Harry: Oh. Yeah, yeah. I... I've been beaten loads of times.
Harry: [about the Marauder's Map] Professor, just so you know I don't think that map always works. Earlier it showed someone in the castle... someone I know to be dead.
Professor Lupin: Oh really, and who might that be?
Harry: Peter Pettigrew.
Professor Lupin: [looking stunned] That's not possible.
Professor Lupin: [commenting on Sirius' ragged looks] Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within.
Sirius Black: Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you Remus?
Ginny Weasley: The Fat lady... she's gone!
Ron: Serves her right. She was a terrible singer...
Hermione: That's not funny, Ron!
Ron: Let me get this strait. Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban to come after you?
Hermione: But they'll catch Black, won't they? I mean, everyone's looking for him.
Ron: Sure. Except no one's ever broken out of Azkaban before, and he's a murderous raving lunatic.
Harry: Thanks, Ron.
Professor Snape: That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Tell me, are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?
Ron: He's got a point, you know.
Shrunken Head: Ernie, little old lady at twelve o'clock!
[the Knight Bus screeches to a halt]
Shrunken Head: Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... 'tree'... 'tree' and a half... two... one and 'tree' quarters... YES!
Hermione: [gazing at a crystal ball] Can I give it a try?
Professor Trelawney: Yes, sure!
Hermione: The grim. Possibly.
Professor Trelawney: You know, my dear, the moment I looked into your eyes I knew that you did not have the mind for the noble art of Divination.
[looking at her palm]
Professor Trelawney: See? Right here. You may be young in years but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid's, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave.
[Hermione gets up and leaves, angrily]
Professor Trelawney: Have I said something?
Sirius Black: Sorry about the bite, I reckon that twinges a bit.
Ron: A bit? A bit? You almost tore my leg off!
Sirius Black: I *was* going for the rat. Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog. In fact, more than once, James suggested that I make the change permanent. The tail I could live with. But the fleas? They're murder.
Hermione: [to Harry] Look who it is... Madame Rosmerta. Ron fancies her!
Ron: That's not true!
[Maid knocks on a door]
Young Witch Maid: Housekeeping!
[the door opens, something roars from inside the room, and the door slams shut]
Young Witch Maid: I'll come back later.
Professor Snape: Why you insolent, little...
Professor Lupin: ...Professor.
Stan Shunpike: What did you say your name was again?
Harry: I didn't.
Stan Shunpike: Well, whereabouts are you headed?
Harry: The Leaky Cauldron! That's in London.
Stan Shunpike: D'you hear that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron, that's in London.
Shrunken Head: Ah, the Leaky Cauldron! If you have the pea soup, make sure you eat it before it eats you!
[about the newspaper clipping Ron was showing Harry and Hermione]
George Weasley: Not flashing that clipping again, are you, Ron?
Ron: I haven't shown anyone!
Fred Weasley: No, not a soul! Unless you count Tom.
George Weasley: The day maid.
Fred Weasley: The night maid.
George Weasley: The cook.
Fred Weasley: That bloke who came to fix the toilet.
George Weasley: And that wizard from Belgium!
Harry: [in reference to Sirius Black on the front cover of the Daily Prophet] Who is that? That man?
Stan Shunpike: Who is that?... Who is... THAT is Sirius Black that is! Don't tell me you've never been hearing of Sirius Black?
Harry: [Harry shakes his head]
Stan Shunpike: He's a murderer. Got himself locked up in Azkaban for it.
Harry: How did he escape?
Stan Shunpike: Well that's the question, isn't it? He's the first one who done it. He was a big supporter of You-Know-Who. Reckon you've heard of him?
Harry: Yeah... him I've heard of.
Seamus Finnegan: [standing in front of the Fat Lady] She won't let me in! She just won't!
Hagrid: Well, first the committee took turns in talking about 'why we were there'. Then I stood up and said my bit, how Buckbeak was a good hippogriff, always cleaned his feathers. And then Lucius Malfoy got up...
Dumbledore: Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs.
Hagrid: First thing you wanna know about hippogriffs, is that they're very proud creatures, very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. It may just be the last thing you ever do. Now, who'd like to come and say hello?
[everyone but Harry takes one step back]
Hagrid: Well done, Harry, well done!
[while hurtling through London in the Knight Bus]
Harry: But the Muggles! Can't they see us?
Stan Shunpike: Muggles? They don't see nothing, do they?
Shrunken Head: No, but if you jab them with a fork, they feel it!
Hermione: Harry, Harry!
Shrunken head 1: I say! No underage wizards allowed in today.
Shrunken head 1: Shut the damn door!
Hermione: So rude!
Shrunken head 2: Thick-heads... how dare they. Who are they calling Thick-heads? Young whippersnappers!
Ron: [Hermione is walking towards the werewolf Lupin] Hermione... bad idea... bad idea...
Hermione: [watches as Harry and Sirius are being attacked by Dementors from the other side of the lake]
Hermione: This is horrible.
Pansy Parkinson: [looking at Malfoy's arm in a sling] Does it hurt terribly, Draco?
Malfoy: It comes and it goes. Still, I consider myself luckily. If it wasn't for Madame Pomfrey, another minute or two and I could have lost my arm; couldn't possibly do any homework for weeks.
Peter Pettigrew: Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed! Your dad... your dad would have spared me! He would shown me mercy!
Aunt Marge: [to Vernon] You mustn't blame yourself about how this one turned out, Vernon. It's all to do with blood. Bad blood will out.
Aunt Marge: What is it the boy's father did, Petunia?
Aunt Petunia: Nothing. He didn't work. He was unemployed.
Aunt Marge: And a drunk too, no doubt?
Harry: That's a lie.
Aunt Marge: What did you say?
Harry: [a little enraged] My dad wasn't a drunk!
[Aunt Marge accidentally breaks the glass she it holding, which shatters into pieces, startling everyone else]
Aunt Marge: Don't worry. Don't fuss, Petunia. I have a very firm grip.
[Harry has just successfully conjured a Patronus]
Professor Lupin: You know something, Harry? I think you would have given your father a run for his money, and THAT is saying something.
Harry: I was thinking of him... and Mum. Seeing their faces. They were talking to me, just talking. That's the memory I chose. I don't even know if it's real. But it's the best I have.
[the Whomping Willow has just deposited Harry in the secret passageway]
[He starts to get up and Hermione lands on top of him]
Hermione: AHHH! Oh I'm sorry!
Harry: That's all right.
[they get to their feet]
Hermione: Where do you suppose this goes?
Harry: I have a hunch. I just hope I'm wrong.
[Harry and Hermione have Time-Turned and are hiding behind the pumpkins. Hermione throws the second rock, which hits the Harry inside Hagrid's hut on the back of his head]
Harry: [inside Hagrid's hut] Ow!
Harry: [outside next to Hermione, rubbing the back of his head] Ow. That hurt!
Sirius Black: You know the man you truly are, Remus! This heart is where you truly live! This heart! Here! This flesh is only flesh!
Professor Lupin: Why do you look so miserable, Harry?
Harry: None of it made any difference. Pettigrew escaped.
Professor Lupin: Didn't make any difference? Harry, it made all the difference in the world! You helped discover the truth. You saved an innocent man from a terrible fate. It made a great deal of difference.
Ron: Harry, what did you just do?
Hermione: You attacked a teacher!
Hermione: Headmaster, you've got to stop them! They've got the wrong man!
Harry: It's true, sir! Sirius is innocent!
Ron: It's Scabbers who did it.
Ron: He's my rat, sir. Well he's not really a rat. Well, he was a rat, he was my brother Percy's rat, but then they gave him an owl, and I got...
Hermione: The *point* is, we know the truth. Please believe us.
Hermione: This is a time turner, Harry. McGonagall gave it to me first term. This is how I've been getting to my lessons all year.
Harry: You mean we've gone back in time?
Hermione: Yes. Dumbledore obviously wanted us to return to this moment. Clearly something happened he wants us to change.
Harry: Before, down by the lake when I was with Sirius, I did see someone. That someone made the Dementors go away.
Hermione: With a patronus? I heard Snape telling Dumbledore. According to him, only a really powerful wizard could've conjured it.
Harry: It was my dad. It was my dad who conjured the patronus.
Hermione: But Harry, your dad's...
Harry: Dead, I know. I'm just telling you what I saw.
Harry: When we free him, I'll never have to go back to the Dursley's. It'll just be me and him. We could live in the country, someplace you can see the sky. I think he'll like that after all those years in Azkaban.
Aunt Marge: Still here, are you?
Aunt Marge: Don't say 'yes' in that ungrateful way.
Hagrid: [about Buckbeak] I think he may let you ride him now.
Hagrid: [picking him up and placing him on Buckbeak's back] Come on, right behind the wing joint.
Harry: Hey! Hey hey hey hey hey! Hagrid!