[Gerry and Gerry are both lying on the ground]
Gerry: [softly] How do you think the hike's going so far?
Gerry: [softly] Pretty good.
Gerry: [softly] I'm leaving.
Gerry: Fuck the thing!
Gerry: Power run to the thing!
Gerry: No, fuck the thing. It's probably just some thing at the end of the trail.
Gerry: But we didn't see anything that looked the same and we could have just Gerried off in all these different directions.
Gerry: Yeah, but we could have bailed early, you know, we could have just bai... we ma... we... I mean, there were so many just different Gerries along the way...
Gerry: So we were going east, all right, which is a total Gerry...
Gerry: And then we Gerried off to the animal tracks. We went up the wrong fuckin' mountain. Okay?
Gerry: And our mountain scout-about was east, so we totally Gerried the scout-about.
Gerry: What are you doing on that rock?
Gerry: Looking for you.
Gerry: Why didn't you just go to the spot?
Gerry: I did. You weren't there.
Gerry: I've been there. I was just sitting there.
Gerry: Dude, that's not the spot. The spot is like a half of a mile that way. I was at the spot. I was waiting for you forever. I was yelling your name. And I just came walking up here, and I saw this rock. I crow's-nested up here to scout-about the ravine 'cause I thought maybe you Gerried the rendezvous. Sure enough, that's not the spot.
Gerry: All right, my fault.
Gerry: Come on, dude, let's go.
Gerry: I can't.
Gerry: Why not?
Gerry: Fucking marooned.
Gerry: Come on. You're not rock-marooned. Just climb down.
Gerry: But I am rock-marooned. I can't climb down. I'm gonna have to jump.
Gerry: Why don't you make me a dirt-mattress?
Gerry: No, Gerry.
Gerry: Come on, dude. I crow's-nested all the way up here to scout-about the ravine 'cause you Gerried the rendezvous.
Gerry: Well, I gotta haul the dirt.
Gerry: Well, get haulin'.
Gerry: I can haul it from over here.
Gerry: Shirt basket?
Gerry: Shirt basket.
Gerry: I thought maybe you'd succumbed.
Gerry: I almost did succumb, but then I turbanned up, and I feel a lot better.
Gerry: [after several minutes of walking in completely silence] Fuck you.
Gerry: Fuck you.
Gerry: I conquered Thebes.
Gerry: Two weeks ago.
Gerry: How'd you do it?
Gerry: Well, I got... I did more than that, actually. I said to Gerry, "I ruled this land for ninety-seven years... and, uh... and, uh, I'd like it." I had all the sanctuaries built. And then I, uh... this hot lava leaked out of a volcano, and half destroyed one of the - my sanctuary to, uh... Demeter, I guess it was. And, um... but I didn't have the... the marble to rebuild, like, the sculptures, and the - to fix the sanctuary. But I already had all these, um, docks, to, like, Calydon and... Argos, and... I had everything. I had everything. Um, I was trading with, like, twelve cities. And, uh... I had-I had a really good army. But, um, the river had - the river had just flooded. And it flooded out, like, four of my docks, and I couldn't import the marble, to rebuild the sanctuary. And she got - Demeter got really pissed off, and so she made my fields infertile. And then, uh... so I couldn't grow the grass. I couldn't grow the wheat, to feed the horses. And there was no... I couldn't... and there was nowhere for the sheep to graze... and the goats. And so my people were getting hungry and restless, and then, um... and so I, I couldn't trade because the - the rivers had flooded. And so, uh, Knossos, one of my vassals, got really upset with me, and, um... turned against me. And they, uh... attacked me. And because I couldn't, I couldn't train any sheep 'cause I didn't have the wheat. I didn't have, uh... I didn't have a, um... a, uh...
Gerry: You couldn't train any sheep?
Gerry: I couldn't train any of the *horses*, because I, uh, didn't have the wheat. And so, when they attacked me, I just got... they just dogged me. And I actually went to send my army out to defend the city, and, like, you can only send 'em out if you have, uh, twelve - if you have twelve, uh, trained horses, and I had eleven. So... I was one... horse... shy... I don't know... of saving the city.
Gerry: So then you didn't really...
Gerry: Oh, I *had* conquered Theb - I had just conquered Thebes. And then that happened.