Bad Magic (1998) (V)

User Rating:

2.2/10   

Directors:

John Polonia
Mark Polonia

Genre:

Horror

Plot Keywords:

Blaxploitation | Voodoo

Cast

Maria Davis
Bob Dennis
Bruce Hardy
Dave Harmon
Maria Russo
Vincent Simmons	...	Renny

Country:

USA

Company:

Polonia Brothers Entertainment

You could almost say "it's so bad it's good," but really, it's so bad it goes past good and back to bad again.

Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Bad Magic is so poorly made that you could almost say "it's so bad it's good," but really, it's so bad it goes past good and back to bad again. There is a street gang composed entirely of middle aged while males who look more like comic book store employees then gangsters. There is a demon who wears flannel. There is a zombie that wears a Bill Crosby sweater. There is stock footage of a snake eating a mouse. There is a voodoo garden claw. There is killer toilet paper.

Most of the movie is supposed to take place in a crowded urban environment. Yet we are shown characters walking down abandon sidewalks with dense woods clearly visible in the background. This "city" is all but deserted even through we hear constant horns and sounds of traffic as if we are supposed to believe everyone is just off camera. Occasional stock footage of tall buildings also adds the absurdity of the attempted effect. Never once does it really seem like the move is taking place anywhere other than a rural area with a few empty buildings.

As if the constant use of voice over isn't bad enough, the narration is unimaginably dreadful. The narrator speaks with the broken stutter of someone who can't read aloud properly. The pauses in his voice indicate clearly where the lines end on the script he was attempting to read. Apparently the Polonias never heard of take two. The acting couldn't be less inspired. The main character has two expressions throughout the movie: goofy worried face and phony evil laughter.

Even this catalog of complains hardy paints an accurate picture of how bad this movie is. A longer list of problems then the above could be easily generated for every scene. In the first few minutes I laughed at all the obvious incongruities and ridiculous oversight of all the principles of good film making, however these errors quickly became so exponentially numerous that there was no point. I couldn't keep up that level of idiocy.

It makes you wonder if it's creators have ever even seen a good movie before. Bad Magic is truly a most trogloditic half-witted attempt at movie making and possibly the most ill conceived of and made film of all time. It makes Plan Nine from Outer Space look like a masterpiece. I can't imagine how anyone could watch this and possibly confuse it with anything of the least quality. There simply is nothing good to say about this movie and that fact is not really surprising. There is a very real sense in which attacking this movie is like kicking a dog for not being better at calculus. See it and laugh at it. But I warn you, before it's over it will get so bad that it's not even entertaining to mock anymore. It's just too easy.