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Karen Malina White
It's the kind of movie that, after just ten minutes, you know for sure that every second further you watch will be a complete waste of your life. The Three Muscatels would be decent but for:
Truly awful acting
Depressing attempts at one-liner jokes
Unbelievably appalling cinematography that would offend a braindead
runt-of-litter baboon with no eyes or limbs
More production gaffes than you can keep track of
A non-existent storyline claiming to be based on a piece of classic
literature (clearly nobody involved with this film has ever read it)
Miserable French, Spanish and English accents
You actually cannot understand a word any of the characters says,
partly because of the terrible, terrible accents; but mostly due to the sound quality which is so dire it makes one question just what equipment (if any) has been used
I am still coming to terms with the knowledge that The Three
Muscatels was made in 1991, it cannot be true
Even the presence of Richard Pryor (who is mildly amusing in his cameo as a drunken bum) cannot save this movie. For all the above reasons, the viewer struggles to understand what is going on - there is a scene in the 17th century King of Spain's court, where a bunch of girls dressed in cringeworthy 1980s apparel appear out of nowhere and start dancing to a cringeworthy 1980s synth beat, with strobe lights flashing. What?
I don't know how many grams of magic mushrooms one would have to ingest to understand this 'film', but it would be more than I am willing to chance.
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