Serge Leveque: I came here to save my wife and my two children and... seven billion lives... it's too much. I just hope I'm, I'm smart enough and brave enough to save three.
Col. Robert Iverson: Hang on. This isn't going to be subtle.
[Zimsky has an idea]
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Are you interested?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yes.
[sounding very frustrated]
Dr. Josh Keyes: We're interested.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: [calmly] Then let me smoke a cigarette, and I'll tell you.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I'm married to my work.
Serge Leveque: So am I. Which makes my wife my mistress. That's why I'm still in love with her.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Do this and I'll sign your doctorates blindfolded.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Blindfolded. Do not pass go. Go directly to PhD.
Col. Robert Iverson: I have done this approach two hundred and thirteen times on the simulator. We are NOT where we should be.
Talma Stickley: Endeavour, guidance is bad. You are now one-two-niner miles off-course.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Uh, roger, Huston. We kind of noticed. Is that...?
Talma Stickley: Los Angeles. That is confirmed.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I think we are in the wrong place here...
Serge Leveque: Yeah, we're in the wrong place...
General Thomas Percell: No. If you were in the wrong place, you'd have already been shot.
Serge Leveque: That's a hell of a greeting.
FBI Agent: Dr. Keyes, your presence is required in the Pentagon.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Aaah, it's my best buddies! Hey! Why don't you join us for a drink?
FBI Agent: We'd be grateful if you could join us - for a ride, sir.
Dr. Josh Keyes: And if I were to say no? I'm just asking.
FBI Agent: Well, we have no sense of humor.
Dr. Josh Keyes: That's true.
FBI Agent: And we're armed.
Dr. Josh Keyes: As the EM field becomes more and more unstable, we'll start seeing isolated incidents - one plane will fall from the sky, then two, then, in a few month, anything, everything electronic will be fried.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Static discharges in the atmosphere will create superstorms with hundreds of lightning strikes per square mile.
Dr. Josh Keyes: After that, it gets bad.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Feel free to throw up. I know I did.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Did you reset the overrides?
Maj. Rebecca Childs: I never pushed them
Dr. Josh Keyes: You let him die.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Actually, you really want to know? I killed him twice. First when I hit the diamond and then when I didn't hit the override. You want me to feel any worse about that than I already do? That's not possible...
Dr. Josh Keyes: Why are you being so smug about that?
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Could you have made the decision?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yes.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Could you?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yes I could've. If you would have hit that switch I could've got him outta there. I was yelling for you!
[holds up Serge's notebook with a picture of his family]
Dr. Josh Keyes: Take it and look at it! I was two inches from him. I was two inches and I told you to put up the door and you didn't! I was screaming for you! Why didn't you do it?
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Because I had to make that decision. Fate or God...
Dr. Josh Keyes: No! You - damn it, you leave God out of this!
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Serge died so we could complete our job.
Dr. Josh Keyes: [sarcastically] Oh, that's right, the job of saving the world
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Not the whole world Josh! Just three of them.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: So, you're really a college professor? You're not from the CIA, the NSA or any of those three letter places?
Dr. Josh Keyes: No, I am a boring college professor. Wrong place, wrong place.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Well, I just... I just... Listen, the lack of oxygen kept me from weeping like a little girl, as is my custom in dangerous situations.
Talma Stickley: [Percell gives the final order to fire DESTINI] Damn you.
General Thomas Percell: Damn me? Too late.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Thomas? Um, look... it seems Destini may have caught up with us.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Guys? We're dodging diamonds the size of Cape Cod, so bear with me. Not exactly nimble here.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Diamonds? I want some.
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Can I help?
Col. Robert Iverson: Being a leader isn't about ability. It's about responsibility.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Got it, sir.
Col. Robert Iverson: No you don't, Beck. I mean, you're not just responsible for the good ones. You've got to be responsible for the bad ones. You've got to be ready to make the shitty call.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: What makes you think I'm not?
Col. Robert Iverson: Because you're so damn good. You haven't hit anything you couldn't beat. I mean, hell, you were the one who figured out how to save the space shuttle. You made me, you made the rest of NASA just look like an ass. It's just you're used to winning... and you're not really a leader until you've lost.
[laughing as the simulator crashes]
Serge Leveque: It's a disaster!
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: [cheerfully] Hello Braz!
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: [chuckles] Why the hell aren't you dead yet? Okay, this way.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: [to Josh] Well, that went better than I expected.
[the FBI storms in on Rat as he tries to destroy his contraband software]
Taz 'Rat' Finch: [as innocently as possible] Okay, I know these look like computers... Totally not.
Dr. Josh Keyes: You're an astronaut and you can tie a Windsor.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Is there anything you can't do?
Maj. Rebecca Childs: [smiles] Not that I'm aware of.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I find that incredibly intimidating.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Yep. Most people do.
Taz 'Rat' Finch: You want me to hack the planet? He wants me to hack the planet... Ok, *if* I decide to do this, I'll need an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and Hotpockets.
General Thomas Percell: Hotpockets?
Taz 'Rat' Finch: They help me concentrate.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Sounds fair.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Then they brought me in when the pacemakers quit and boom, you know, I'm Apocalypse Boy.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Apocalypse Boy?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yeah, I'm having T-shirts made
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Well, hats sell better.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: You know what makes me really, really angry? Bob, Serge, Braz, Zimsky. No one's every going to know what they did or why they died.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Unless, it all got out somehow.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: That's unthinkable.
Col. Robert Iverson: It's the simplest things that are the hardest, huh?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yeah. It's official: I'm the least qualified person on this base.
Col. Robert Iverson: Dr. Keyes, I'm sure the people in charge have every confidence in you.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Well, the problem is I'm in charge.
Talma Stickley: Hello? All this brain power over here is starting to smell like burning batteries.
Col. Robert Iverson: Forgive me, but, you know I'm not the expert here, but what if the core is thicker or thinner? I mean, what if it's not what you think it is? Isn't that going to affect the way the explosions are...
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and what if the core is made of cheese? This is all best guess commander. That's all science is, is best guess.
Col. Robert Iverson: So my best guess is you don't know.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: M.A.D. Mutually Assured Destruction. A perfect acronym if ever there was one.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Beautiful.
Col. Robert Iverson: People. Doctors Zimsky and Keyes? You guys are our resident geophysicists, so what do you make of this?
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: The mantle is a chemical hodgepodge of, a, variety of elements...
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Say it with me: "I don't know."
Dr. Josh Keyes: Why do you get dibs on being the hero?
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Because it's my damn ship.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Oh that makes perfect sense.
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Look, for twenty years I've done nothing but 'Virgil.' Twenty years. 'Virgil' belongs to me, and I will not let her fail. I will not. Now, if you want to know what's worth dying for: this ship. Building it instead of imagining it. If 'Virgil' needs more blood, it will be my blood.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Braz. Edward
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Yes, Conrad?
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: You're right, it is your ship. But I wish to God it had been ours.
Taz 'Rat' Finch: How many languages do you speak?
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Five, actually.
Taz 'Rat' Finch: Well, I speak one... One Zero One Zero Zero. With that I could steal your money, your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. Any country, any place, any time I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn't think as slow as you if I tried.
Dave Perry: [referring to his watch] It stopped.
Taz 'Rat' Finch: Destiny, meet world. World, meet Destiny.
Taz 'Rat' Finch: [after successfully hacking into DESTINI and stopping it] Your Kung-Fu is not strong.
Dr. Josh Keyes: What's going on guys?
FBI Agent: We don't know. Your security clearance is higher than ours.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have security clearance?
FBI Agent: We just here to take you to your jet.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have a jet?
[space shuttle Endeavor is way off course]
Maj. Rebecca Childs: I show possible touchdown at 335 North 118 West.
Talma Stickley: Endeavor, that is confirmed. Turn right, heading 175. Expect visual contact with Los Angeles River in five seconds.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: [trapped in a compartment of Virgil with a nuclear bomb set to detonate; recording himself for posterity] For here, in the great unknowable, man can come to know the most important thing of all - himself. He can understand...
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: What the fuck am I doing?
[begins laughing hysterically; the nuclear bomb explodes]
Taz 'Rat' Finch: [after playing with Keyes' cell phone] Here, you now have free long distance on this phone. Forever.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Oh, come on, you're a bunch of suicidal morons! What are you, crazy? Plan C? Restart the core "somehow"? Oh, that's a great idea! That's a brilliant idea! I can't believe I'm stuck in this floating septic tank with you lunatics! You may have nothing to lose. You may have nothing to lose! You may have nothing to lose, but I have my life to lose thank you very much while you're up! Now turn it around! He told us to go back and we're going back! Why? You want to be a hero? You want to be a martyr? What do you want to be? You're out of your mind! Thank you! Turn it around!
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: [after listening to Zimsky record his book ideas into a portable microphone] Are you going to be doing that Carl Sagan narration all the way down to the core?
Dr. Josh Keyes: So, we hotwire the nukes, as one does. We seed them through the core at locations that have to be accurate to the inch. We detonate them in a sequence that has to be accurate to the millisecond. Then we outrun the biggest nuclear shockwave in history.
Dr. Conrad Zimsky: Right.
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Yeah.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I mean, that should be fairly simple.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I never taught the computer how to read empty space.
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: And I never taught Virgil how to fly.
Serge Leveque: Excuse me Dr. Brazzelton, when do you think the ship will be operational?
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: When I get my fabrication methods perfected, twelve... no, ten years. Ten years.
General Thomas Percell: What would it take to get it done in six months?
Dr. Ed 'Braz' Brazzelton: Fifty billion dollars, I...
General Thomas Percell: [deadpan] Will you take a check?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Why don't you use a credit card? You get miles.
General Thomas Percell: Hmm.
Stickley: [after the crew fails the simulator] For the twenty-second time in a row, everyone on earth is dead. Now we're going to take a little quiet time, and you all are going to try this again.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I told you pulsing the ultrasonics would work.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: Do you ever get tired of being right?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yes. So what's next for you?
Maj. Rebecca Childs: A shower. Then back to NASA, I guess. You?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Deep-dish pepperoni pizza, green peppers, onions, extra mushrooms - then a shower and then back to the classroom.
Maj. Rebecca Childs: NASA could use a few good men, you know.
Dr. Josh Keyes: Yeah. Unfortunately, so could my freshmen geophysics students.