Biker Zombies From Detroit is a horror/comedy contrasting the dark deadly streets of outer Detroit against the posh and protected upscale community of Grosse Pointe. A series of horrific murders are committed in the Detroit area. Now it seems an evil darkness has descended onto the streets of Grosse Pointe, and hidden within is the wrath of 'Biker Zombies from Detroit'! Ken Yargeau and his mother Francis relocate from the quaint rural town of Hell, Michigan to the exclusive Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe. Ken quickly has a rude awakening when he meets the local high school pretty-boys and is immediately spurned by his peers. However, Courtney Goodwyn the local sweetheart finds herself attracted to the new guy in town. And promptly dumps her pretty-boy wannabe boyfriend, Chad Porter. Meanwhile on the gritty nocturnal streets of Detroit, an evil force has returned and begins constructing a modern day army of Zombie warriors. His new generals are here to recapture a world that was ... Written by
Todd Brunswick <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Dude! A couple of those girls aren't wearing any underwear!
You mean you didn't see that shit?
No, how can you tell?
Oh, I can tell dude. Girls' underwear is huge with me, man, and let me just tell you this: I can't see any pantylines on any of those chicks.
Maybe they're wearing a thong.
Maybe they were wearing thongs, you know. That's some wild shit, don't you think?
Man, those girls can't be a day over fourteen and they're sporting thongs. That's sweet, huh?
Oh yeah! Thongs are ...
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With a name like "Biker Zombies From Detroit," you don't expect high art. What you expect is a cheesy yet comical romp with lots of blood and interesting, if cheesy, make-up. That's what's supposed to make these films fun to watch.
"Biker Zombies," however, is not fun to watch. It is a terrible movie on every level.
This is a DV feature, so, naturally, it doesn't have the highest production value in the world. But, judging from the quality of the sound, these people didn't even TRY to make the film worthwhile. In fact, the sound quality is so bad, it often sounds like they recorded scenes using only the camera's on-board microphone, which is a travesty even in no-budget production.
The least they could've done is make the film visually interesting to make up for the lack of story, acting, make-up, etc. Instead, the film is primarily locked-down master shots, the most uninteresting way to shoot a movie. The only part that had the remotest quality to it was a slow-motion fight sequence, where the stunts and camera angles made for a very interesting look. The difference between that fight sequence and the rest of the film is so glaring, it almost seems like someone else directed the fight scene.
Not to mention the fact that the film is permeated by an annoying zombie voice-over that's been processed to the point of inaudibility, as well as random shots of homeless people that seem to be there for the sole purpose of increasing the film's running time.
In short, "Biker Zombies From Detroit" is a film that gives Detroit filmmakers a bad name. Garbage like this should not be used to represent the primarily high-quality work that goes on in this town.
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