Biker Zombies From Detroit is a horror/comedy contrasting the dark deadly streets of outer Detroit against the posh and protected upscale community of Grosse Pointe. A series of horrific murders are committed in the Detroit area. Now it seems an evil darkness has descended onto the streets of Grosse Pointe, and hidden within is the wrath of 'Biker Zombies from Detroit'! Ken Yargeau and his mother Francis relocate from the quaint rural town of Hell, Michigan to the exclusive Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe. Ken quickly has a rude awakening when he meets the local high school pretty-boys and is immediately spurned by his peers. However, Courtney Goodwyn the local sweetheart finds herself attracted to the new guy in town. And promptly dumps her pretty-boy wannabe boyfriend, Chad Porter. Meanwhile on the gritty nocturnal streets of Detroit, an evil force has returned and begins constructing a modern day army of Zombie warriors. His new generals are here to recapture a world that was ... Written by
Todd Brunswick <email@example.com>
Dude! A couple of those girls aren't wearing any underwear!
You mean you didn't see that shit?
No, how can you tell?
Oh, I can tell dude. Girls' underwear is huge with me, man, and let me just tell you this: I can't see any pantylines on any of those chicks.
Maybe they're wearing a thong.
Maybe they were wearing thongs, you know. That's some wild shit, don't you think?
Man, those girls can't be a day over fourteen and they're sporting thongs. That's sweet, huh?
Oh yeah! Thongs are ...
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These Zombies would be better off walking in Idaho
Recognizing the picture of the diner on the cover of the DVD made me realize that this was a local movie. The word Detroit in the title furthered my suspecions and I did some looking up of things and yes, a local movie it was.
So I picked it up. Someone I knew actually knew some of the producers/director (dont remember which) and said the producers/directors got people to PAY to be in this movie.
Brilliant! What a great idea. The movie makers get some capital to do the movie with, thanks to their cast and crew. Then the investors (cast, crew, others) get some of the profits, I'm imagining.
Um anyways. This film totally underwhelmed me. The special effects were special as in special children who ride the small buses to school. The acting was very amusing, not intentionally however. There's a great line where a guy says "well? this bone aint gonna smoke itself!" as a pickup line. Unfortunately that is the only fun part of the whole film. The story? Well, I sort of followed it about 3/5 of the way in, then everything stopped making sense and as we were sitting there watching it, it suddenly ended. I mean as in,..no resolution of anything..like they ran out of time. "Sorry folks, out of time, goodnight!"
We sat there baffled and booing, and threw in another film. Then about 20 minutes later a neighbor of mine showed up..with one of the guys from the movie! We threw it back in and he (the actor) gave us a running commentary, which was awesome because he totally ripped on the movie!
What more could you ask for??
The most absurd scene for me was a motorbike chase scene were it was so dark that it could have literally been a guy running past with a flashlight and not a motorbike at all. That and the jaw droppingly in your face sudden ending is enough to make you howl. In pain! The zombies looked less like zombies than my coworkers do. And I dont work at the morgue either.
So, I recommend seeing this if you can get someone from the movie to come over and give you a running commentary as to all the things that went on behind the scenes and make sure this person hates the movie because that just adds to the fun.
Otherwise, give this one a pass. Rent something like Feeders if you want a jaw droppingly bad in a funny way movie...
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