The Brak Show (2000–2004)
Brak: Last time I was this happy, I was face down in a pizza pie, eatin' my way to freedom!
Brak: Say wh... what time you got there pardner?
Thundercleese: Time is an abstract concept created by carbon-based life-forms to monitor their ongoing decay.
[Mom yells at Dad after the roof is torn off their house, she then walks away]
Dad: [to self] I don't know why we need a roof anyway, just put a hat on and get over it!
Brak: Mr. Tickles, how do y-how do you think Thunderclese is gonna take this?
Mr. Tickles: Oh my God, he'll tear your arms off!
Brak: But I love my arms! That's where my hands live!
[Brak asks Zorak for help]
Zorak: I'm not your daddy... or maybe I am.
[Clarence appears, smoking a cigarette]
Brak: Clarence! We thought you were dead!
Clarence: Clarence the boy is dead. Say hello to Clarence the man... who just had sex.
[Brak at a party]
Brak: Hey guys, lets throw up the booze we just drank...
Brak: This is stupid. I wish we weren't penguins and that our show wasn't canceled.
[abrupt cut to black]
Brak: Dad, I need 20 dollars.
Dad: Yes, and I need a prehensile tail so I can grab onto things like a monkey.
Mike: Hi there, my name's Mike, I'm a razor-toed-spine-masher, wanna be pals?
Brak: I'm just gonna go to my room, I won't be able to sleep though.
Brak: ... Man I love sleepin'... I wish I could wake up so I can go back to sleep.
Thundercleese: [rapping] War!/It's good for me!/What's my name?
Back-up Group: THUNDERCLEESE!
[Brak prepares to dissect a clam in Biology class]
Brak: I guess it's goodbye Brak the happy, go-lucky man about town... and hello, Brak the ruthless clam slayer.
Dad: [mumbling in hot tub water]
Brak: I hope those are talking bubbles, buddy.
Brak: [singing] That's my mom! / She goes by the name of Mom! / M is for her razmatazz / O is for the way she talks / The other "M" is there because... / You can't have a mom without "M"!
Dad: Tonight, in the dark of night, after night has shrouded my dark plan in its nightly darkness, I will exact my revenge!
Closing credits song: [Sung by a Louis Armstrong-like voice] So long folks, see you soon, hope you loved the show / C'mon next time, if you liked it, but if you didn't like it then watch something else / Oh yeah! Oh yeah, yeah! Scattly-dop-doop goodbye Brak!
[Brak comes home in tears]
Brak: I don't want to live anymore!
[runs to his room]
Dad: Alright, now I can finally have that study I've always wanted.
[Mom looks at him angrily]
Dad: What? I'm half kidding, what do you people want from me?
Brak: Hey, what happened to my bed?
[Brak's bed is covered with a thick, bubbling slime]
Zorak: Yeah, that's my funk. Leave it alone. It's resting.
Brak: Well, where did it come from?
Zorak: Do you really want to know?
Brak: No, I suppose not.