UN agents Mike Graham and Sabrina Carver are sent by their director Nick Caldwell to investigate the theft of Rembrandt's painting, "The Night Watch". The trail takes them from Amsterdam to... See full summary »
Dead bodies are being found in the New York harbor. The police have no clues nor suspects until Nick and his colleague realize the killer is a giant octopus. Everybody, especially the ... See full summary »
Michael Reilly Burke,
CAMERON arranges a surprise party for his father's 75th birthday. His siblings arrive at the family's Beverly Hills mansion with plenty of personal baggage, and a few pieces of luggage in ... See full summary »
This movie is so bad, it's actually quite astonishing. There is not a single aspect that isn't dreadful. The script is shocking and low-grade porn actors deliver their dialogue more convincingly. The acting is stilted and staged across the board. The lame attempts at humour are easily missed, but you can spot them by noting when you cringe. The action scenes look so fake they're distracting, the sound production is terrible, and the special effects are even worse. I'm afraid I can't say much about the plot, since I'm not enough of a masochist to force myself to watch it with that much attention.
This would score high if it was a case study in how not to make a movie. It has all the elements that make a bad movie dreadful. How so many bad actors, directors, producers, cameramen, sound technicians and effects designers managed to converge on one place, we'll never know. It isn't even funny-bad. It's an ordeal. DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM. You have been warned.
What, it won't let me vote this zero? Awww...
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.
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