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|Index||27 reviews in total|
Are you sure this wasn't the latest installment of that lesbian porno
franchise "Where The Boys Aren't"? If you don't know what HLA means, it
means "Hot Lesbian Action", and there was plenty of it in this flick.
women like nothing more than to have girl-on-girl fun from beginning to
Granted, I haven't seen a film on Skinemax that had this many girl-girl
scenes (usually there's only one or two a film, if that), but the funny
sequences and the tongue-in-cheek dialogue scores points with
It starts out with three women from Earth cruising in outer space. Commander Gaylor, the star of the film (Misty Mundae, who looks like she's 15, honestly) is asleep in her chair. Lt. Fornication, a blonde with huge knockers (Sharon Engert) and Lt. Pushkintucushkin, a tall European girl with silver hair (Anoushka) start the girl-girl fun with a scene right off the bat.
Lt. Fornication begins screaming loudly, flailing her left hand dangerously close to a button that....and I'm just guessing here....does something wrong. This wakes up the commander, but it's too late....they crash land on a planet filled with apelike creatures who stand upright and talk like humans.
If you haven't realized it yet, this movie is a spoof of "Planet Of The Apes." If the title didn't tell you that, well....by now you'd know.
What follows are tests and demonstrations on the now-captured trio by the apes, who have hilarious dialogue. Of course, this doesn't stop our three lovelies from having sex with each other at the drop of a hat. The apes also seem to have another woman captive, Dr. Cornholeous (Debbie Rochon, YOUR scream queen of the future). Don't worry, she has sex with the girls too.
Further on in the film, we find our three gals running through the forest (this time they've got clothes on, earlier in the film they're naked) when they stumble upon a Barbarian Queen, a good-looking brunette with huge knockers (Shelby Taylor). From here we have even more girl-girl sex, culminating with a four-way love fest with all the ladies involved.
There's a funny scene about 2/3 of the way through where the women are rapping...yes, I said it, rapping. If there's one scene you've gotta see, it's this one.
I'm not nitpicking here, but it seems that some of the sex scenes just seemed to go a bit too long. Maybe it's because of the exaggerated movement, but a few of them did seem that way. Seeing big boobs all over the place made up for that, though.
The ending was pretty anticlimactic, but that's alright....I really didn't expect this film to have much of an ending.
Women: A+ (There were five principal women in this film, and all of them brought that little "something extra". For those guys who like women who look like, but aren't teenagers, there's Misty. For those who are suckers for big boobs, like me, there's Shelby Taylor and Sharon Engert. For those who like the exotic types, there's the tall, leggy Anoushka. Did I forget about Debbie Rochon? Well, she's here too. There's something for everyone here!)
Sex: A- (It's all girl-girl, but it's still something. A few scenes seemed to drag on ad infinitum, which means I gotta take off 2/3 of a point. The number of three-ways and that four-way toward the end keeps the grade high.)
Story: C (I'll be generous and give this film a Story grade of C. The writers of this script must be commended for throwing enough funny moments in there to break up the "monotony" of sex scene after sex scene. At least these writers acknowledge that the plot IS a vehicle to link the sex scenes together. For that, you folks get a C.)
Overall: B+ (This was a funny film, despite the sex scenes that seemed to go on forever. Can we get some more women in softcore who look like Shelby Taylor and Sharon Engert? Please? I'll be looking for more Seduction Cinema flicks in the near future if they're as entertaining as this one.)
I was at my sister's house in Queens, staying the night, and I happened
be browsing through the channels. Cinemax, forever known as Skinemax,
happened to be playing this movie.
It was.... interesting.
I happened to stay tuned throughout most of the film, every once in a while just finding the need to shut it off and read George Gipe's adaptation of Gremlins.
It was funny, and I'm being honest. It was so ridiculous that it was pretty funny. The guys in the ape suits were so incredibly cheesy that they made no effort to cover it up. There's a scene at the end where one of the girl puts on one of the ape masks, just so anyone at home who hasn't figured it out already will know that they are only masks.
So there were sex scenes, then apes talking, then more sex scenes, then apes dancing, then more sex scenes, then apes fighting.
You will not find much pleasure in this movie unless you have a severe Furry fettish.
The best part of the movie was the disco-ball spaceship at the end. I mean, come on. You can't beat that. It's just funny. They didn't even spend any time bluescreening it. It was just a disco ball matted onto the background with some sort of blue light around it.
If you're a porno addict, then I guess enjoy yourself (but not too much), but beware of guys in ape suits.
If you like bad movies, then watch this right after you watch Manos and Plan 9.
There is one reason to watch this movie. That's Misty Mundae. The movie is campy, funny in spots, has a completely ridiculous story line, and the worst ape costumes ever shown on film. But if you want to see why Misty Mundae is the hottest babe on film right now you'll buy or rent this flick right now. Misty is naked almost throughout the entire movie. Her youthful appearance and innocent looks keep you hoping for more and more of her. She gives a completely believable performance in every sex scene she's in and she's in almost every one of them. The lesbian scenes are steamy, always pairing Misty with an older woman. Misty holds your attention whether she's in a 1 on 1 scene or a lesbian orgy. The director should also be credited with not cutting the scenes short. Giving Misty's audience the chance to to see her put through her lesbian paces. I rate this movie a 3 out of 5. I rate Misty's performance a 4.5.
Man I started watching this movie and took it off after 5 mins because it was going so stupid but then a week later I put it on in the middle of the scene where the apes where showing off their dancing skill and I almost died laughing, this is THE most absurd thing I have ever seen. Clearly these were people with left over costumes who made this movie with NO BUDGET. They dont haven have more than 3 of any one ape costume, there is a florescent pink ape for Christ's sakes. I recommend this one to anyone.
From the first fake boob jiggle as the spaceship crashed to the final
naked dance scene this film never failed to please. It's play on the
absurdity of American Pop Culture mixed with the exceptionally sexy
Misty Mundae made this film a joy to watch. It's a wonderful testament
to the inventiveness and pioneering spirit of B-Movie film-making. It
succeeds in mocking its source material, its audience, and itself all
at the same time. It also delivers on the flesh, though, at times it
almost seems to be mocking sex as well as everything else.
A must see for any fan of the genre. Misty Mundae, you are a goddess. Keep 'em comin'.
This funny version consists of three horny women(astronauts) who fall upon this planet in the most peculiar way. Jokes about the movie are thrown around in addition to some very hot and wild scenes. This is a don't miss cannot tell you anymore for fear of ruining a great time.
Anyone expecting profundity from a film called "Play-Mate of the Ape"
is bound to be disappointed. And if you're hoping for scenes of guys in
bad monkey costumes having sex with human girls, you're also going to
walk away empty-handed. If, on the other hand, you're looking for about
90 minutes of baked humor and lesbians, then this might be just the
kind of movie you're looking for.
The plot is stupid, even by the low standards of porn - three lesbian astronauts crash their ship onto a planet where sentient apes rule. They're captured and forced into slavery, but are liberated by a lesbian chimp and her pink gorilla sidekick. Almost every conceivable excuse for a lesbian sex scene is introduced, and eventually, a ridiculously cheap-looking uprising breaks out.
The sex scenes are all too long, and the production values are virtually non-existent, but luckily, this film has Misty Mundae, who is not only cute and sexy, but also possessed of incredible charm and a terrific ability to laugh at herself. It also helps that the writers were clearly having a ball banging out the script; the stupid jokes provide some welcome relief when the sex scenes become tedious...
This is a bad movie BUT it is intended to be a bad movie and does not
take itself seriously at all. It is basically a vehicle to show soft
core lesbian porn. Hence Im giving it a 5/10.
Basically its Planet of the Apes with lesbians. And that is the entire plot and storyline.There is no special effects and the costumes were probably bought at the dollar store.
Now the important part: The Lesbianism. Now if you have no access to porn or live in a very prudish, morally "upright" and sexually uptight community you will love it. But other then that it is rather boring. I mean its simulated (badly) sex. You see hotter stuff on mainstream movies IMO. Personally I didn't care for it as there were too many overly large man made breast. Misty Mundae looks cute if you are into the lolita look.
The thing that really turn me off was how nasty one of the "actress" look. bad fake boobs and she looked like a monkey (bad botox shots probably).
In summary, movie is OK if you want a laugh...thats it.
I'll join the chorus to say that the lesbian scenes go on too long and
too often. Giant silicone breasts don't do much for me, and Misty's
booty shake is worth all of those silicone sacs put together. Also, I
will never get tired of seeing women running around in the woods naked.
This film is completely self-aware of its failings. How often does that ever happen anywhere? For that reason I would be willing to say that watching this movie is somewhat refreshing.
I liked Darian Caine in her role as Uvula. I felt positively bad for her when, during one of the dance scenes, she walked away dejected because she was the only one who wasn't able to dance. Poor Uvula. Darian did well with the role she was given. She is also smokin' hot, which doesn't hurt.
It was genuinely funny - and not for unintentional reasons. I laughed out loud on a number of occasions on well-delivered jokes. The lemonade stand scene in particular made me laugh out loud.
Others have remarked on the weakness of the costumes and effects. Yes, there is a guy in a pink gorilla costume, and while the extras all wore various off the shelf monkey masks, the main ape characters wore full-on Planet of the Apes makeup. The three characters who wore the full get-ups were able to convey emotion and reaction through the masks. For a soft-core lesbian porn flick it really doesn't get much better than that.
Enough care and thought went into this movie to make it watchable, yet it never takes itself seriously. They went to the length to put together some decent costumes and a couple of CGI effects to at least get a working film. None of which were very well done, but at least they were there. They could have gotten away with much less.
I've watched this movie repeatedly and I will give it another go-around someday. Well worth the time.
This movie seems to be playing on cable all the time. It's a very cheesy parody of "Planet of the Apes". The jokes are extremely silly and corny. But I must admit that the sex scenes are kind of hot especially the ones with Misty Mundae and the all out orgy towards the end. These are the kind of movies that back in the 1960's would have played in "adults only" theaters. Plenty of soft-core action and bad attempts at humor. Will probably be enjoyed best with a six pack of beer.
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