Death, Deceit & Destiny Aboard the Orient Express (2001)Director:Mark Roper |
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Death, Deceit & Destiny Aboard the Orient Express (2001)Director:Mark Roper |
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Richard Grieco | ... |
Jack Chase
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Nicky Henson | ... |
Tom Finlay
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| Barry Flatman | ... |
Reid Archer
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Jennifer Nitsch | ... |
Rita Evans
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Lou Hirsch | ... |
Fred Wallace
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| Götz Otto | ... |
Boris
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| Romina Mondello | ... |
Klara
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| Christoph Waltz | ... |
Ossama /
Tarik
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Yoanna Boukovska | ... |
Nadia
(as Joanna Bukovska)
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| Sendhil Ramamurthy | ... |
Nikki
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Nina Muschallik | ... |
Polly
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| Hristo Shopov | ... |
Chief du Train
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Michail Elenov | ... |
Evil Sreward
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Jana Karaivanova | ... |
Imogen
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Dechko Chuntov | ... |
Terrorist Leader
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I realize that Agatha Christie does not legally own the Orient Express, but I have to say that if THIS crap-fest is any indication, cinematically, she owns it outright. But even without factoring this against Christie's Murder On The Orient Express, this film is pure detritus.
This is about a terrorist and the celebrities he traps aboard a bomb-laden Orient Express. Or, so the synopsis says. What it was in actuality, was a flick wherein the heroines trip over their own feet, drop the gun and as it goes off it kills the bad guys, and any other contrived and clichéd piece of fecal matter it could find to insert.
This is probably one of the worst movies along this vein I've ever had the displeasure of having been forced to watch. There is not one single redeeming factor about this work, including Mark Roper the director. The truth be known, if you want a "B" action flick done cheaply without a single concern for lack of budget or talent? Hire Mark Roper. He's your man.
All in all? Don't waste your time. Watch Murder on the Orient Express instead. It may be dated, but it's still a beautiful piece of film. THIS is overrated crap and will always BE overrated crap.
It rates a 1.9/10 from...
the Fiend :.