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The Master of Disguise (2002) Poster

Quotes

Pistachio Disguisey: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle!

[From trailer]

Devlin Bowman: I think it's time for you to go.

Pistachio Disguisey: [Making talking gesture with hand] This is what you're doing...

[Closes hand]

Pistachio Disguisey: this is what I want you to do.

Devlin Bowman: Did you just tell me to shut up?

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes.

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[From the trailer]

Pistachio Disguisey: [to a snake] Come get the cheese, buttercup.

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Pistachio Disguisey: [as President Bush] The folks around here call me "Dub-ya". Hoo ya!

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Jennifer: Love Cake?

Pistachio Disguisey: What?

Jennifer: You said "Love Cake"!

Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!

Jennifer: What?

Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney.

[hands her knee pads]

Pistachio Disguisey: Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.

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[after reading a chapter about finding Mama and Papa in the pop-up book]

Pistachio Disguisey: That's one specific farmer.

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Pistachio Disguisey: It's so crazy, it just might work!

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Grandfather Disguisey: [walks outside after hearing crash] Ahh you're too young for the job. Go home and ask your mommy to change you're diaper.

Barney Baker: I don't wear a diaper.

Grandfather Disguisey: [laughs] Hey Pistachio! There's a talking baby out here!

Pistachio Disguisey: I want to see the talking baby coochy coochy coo! Brave Barney Baker nice to see you again!

Grandfather Disguisey: You know this baby?

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes, yes of course I do!

Barney Baker: Actually I was potty trained when I was two.

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes you are the conductor of the potty train!

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Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?

[Slaps Pistachio]

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that! But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!

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Grandfather Disguisey: Did you ask Jeeves?

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes but no such luck.

Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof... did you hear something like this?

[Slaps Pistachio]

Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that. But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!

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Texas Man: Am I going too fast for you?

Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Man] Am I going too fast for you?

Texas Wife: Are you mocking my husband?

Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Wife] Are you mocking my husband?

Texas Wife: 'Cause you better not be!

Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Wife] 'Cause you better not be!

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Pistachio Disguisey: Can I help you?

Grandfather Disguisey: I have come to help you, Pistachio.

Pistachio Disguisey: Help me what?

Grandfather Disguisey: Find your mother and your father. My son.

Pistachio Disguisey: My father... your son... Holy canoli! You are my sister!

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Jennifer: ...And now I believe that you can do anything.

Pistachio Disguisey: Ah! That's very nice but not exactly true, I... I can't turn mud into oatmeal, for example, I can't build a spaceship that will travel to Pluto...

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Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] Appraise this!

[Slams "Nest in a Box on counter]

Art Dealer: It appears to be of 12th century Tuscan design...

Pistachio Disguisey: I knew it was old, you fool! Let me appraise you; you're an idiot. A complete and total idiot!

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Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in *your* middle!

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Devlin Bowman: [Speaking to Jennifer] No need to bring anything...

Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] We don't want to go anywhere with you, Melon Head!

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Sophia: Look, Pistachios, the silly voices, the making faces, it was fun for like one second, okay?

Pistachio Disguisey: Only one second?

Sophia: I never wanted to go out with yous! I'm in love with Rex, okay?

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Pistachio Disguisey: [Ending Credits] Once I found an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know!

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Trent: What kind of crap are you filling his head with?

Pistachio Disguisey: Uh, the nice-ness?

Trent: "The nice-ness?" You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?

Pistachio Disguisey: [Imitates Trent] You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?

Trent: What?

[Looks away and back]

Trent: Are you mocking me?

Pistachio Disguisey: [Imitates Trent] What?

[Looks away and back]

Pistachio Disguisey: Are you mocking me?

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Pistachio Disguisey: But, Papa, don't preach. I'm in trouble deep, and I'm keeping my baby.

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Pistachio Disguisey: [Barney falls off skateboard] I noticed that you became acquainted with the sidewalk a moment ago.

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Grandfather Disguisey: Who are you now?

Pistachio Disguisey: The question is not who I am, the question is who are you? I'm Prince LaIi Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights near Bombay, Calcutta and New Delhi, India. India. India.

Grandfather Disguisey: It's time to test that.

Pistachio Disguisey: What is it?

[Grandfather Disguisey opens basket]

Pistachio Disguisey: That is a big reptile.Not a problem.

[Plays recorder]

Pistachio Disguisey: Oh, yes. He wouldn't hurt anybody now.I'm going to call him Buttercup! So cute, eh?

Grandfather Disguisey: Energico! God help me, I love it!

Pistachio Disguisey: [Dangling cheese above reptile] You like the cheese. Go get the cheese, Buttercup. You know you love it.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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