McLeod's Daughters (2001– )
Becky Howard: Men! You can't live with em, you can't shoot em.
Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep.
Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep.
[after the shed exploded during the fire]
Nick Ryan: If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just knocked it down
Claire McLeod: You ready for another beer, Maid Marion?
Alex Ryan: Yeah thanks Nick.
Tess Silverman McLeod: [laughing] What?
Claire McLeod: It's his middle name.
Alex Ryan: Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your system, have a good laugh.
Alex Ryan: [drunk] I love you, Claire. I love you more than my chopper.
Tess Silverman McLeod: You are feeling guilty, aren't you?
Nick Ryan: So take advantage.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Oh, I intend to.
Claire McLeod: Put it away mate
Alex Ryan: Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman.
Claire McLeod: Thanks, so what does that make me?
Alex Ryan: Why you're a... you're a Claire
[after a man claiming to be Jack's son turns up]
Terry Dodge: That man sowed enough wild oats to make porridge.
[about Alex's attitude towards Sandra]
Nick Ryan: Do you realise you are in a 'mine's bigger than yours' competition with a woman
Dave Brewer: [bangs on the loo where Pat has his dark room] Patrick! Oi, What, have you fallen in or something?
Patrick Brewer: I'm printing, won't be long.
Dave Brewer: Mate, I'm due on rounds!
Patrick Brewer: So use a bush outside.
Dave Brewer: Some things can't be done behind a bush!
Dave Brewer: [to himself] Why can't you do model airplanes like other little brothers? Come on!
Patrick Brewer: Yea, I'm in a hurry.
Dave Brewer: Believe me, so am I!
Claire McLeod: What Alex? It's just a boob.
Alex Ryan: Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob.
Claire McLeod: Well if Clint Eastwood turns up to save us - tell him to rack off.
Alex Ryan: I'm no expert but I reckon you're jealous. You don't like the idea of sharing Tess with anyone else, do you?
Nick Ryan: You're right. You're no expert.
Claire McLeod: Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela
Tess Silverman McLeod: Well, no
Claire McLeod: There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.
Claire McLeod: I talk to you.
Tess Silverman McLeod: But I'm not a single attractive, interesting man.
Claire McLeod: Well spotted.
[about the boot that Claire is using as a stand in for the baby]
Tess Silverman McLeod: Junior must take after your side of the family.
[after finding out that Harry and Sandra are sleeping together]
Nick Ryan: Look on the bright side
Alex Ryan: There isn't one Nick
Nick Ryan: At least you didn't sleep with Sandra.
[looks over at Alex, his face tells a different story]
Nick Ryan: You didn't.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Perhaps she thinks alpacas are cool
Jodi Fountain: Yeah, it seems a pity to shatter her illusions
Jodi Fountain: I am beginning to wonder if Stevie is seriously mentally unbalanced
Stevie Hall: We've got to check the water pumps, even the mentally unbalanced have to work.
[Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which had been dumped on his doorstep]
Claire McLeod: I would put money on you having a problem.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is quite appealing this morning.
Tess Silverman McLeod: After Claire admits stealing a stamp at school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire.
Tess Silverman McLeod: With the internet the whole worlds just one big village.
Meg Fountain: And your the village matchmaker.
[after Nick tell him and Sandra there will be no more personal abuse]
Alex Ryan: You stupid git.
Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over.
Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began.
Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.
Nick Ryan: Stairs or Sandra - either will kill you.
[Nick after Harry tells him he has to be able to make it up the stairs, without stopping before he can get "intimate" with Sandra again]
Nick Ryan: Shopping, these people are truly evil, if we stay her long enough we might see them doing something really depraived like cooking.
[Nick as he and Alex watch Peter's family trying to dig up dirt on Peter]
Stevie Hall: Claire had really bad taste in men.
Tess Silverman McLeod: What about Alex?
Stevie Hall: Like I said, she had bad taste.