Dave Jackson: Number ten... um... stab me in the eye with a ball-point pen.
Stan Coombs: And remember, this is a game of skill, touch and patience. A true revealer of character.
Jack Simpson: All it's revealing right now is two inches of arse-crack poking out the top of my pants!
Jack Simpson: Watch where you're going you hat wearing fool! Where did you learn to drive? On horseback?
Stan Coombs: [introducing Nance] Her name's Nance. In case your interested?
Jack Simpson: Am not, I've got a girlfriend.
Mandy: [walks in angrily] No you don't!
Jack Simpson: Mandy, what are you doing here?
Mandy: Returning your things.
[throws a pack of cigarettes into Jack's hands, Stan laughs]
Jack Simpson: [shouting to Mandy] Better all be here!
Supervisor: [about to review one of Jack's phone conversation] Why don't we listen into one of your calls shall we?
Jack Simpson: Excellent Idea
Jack Simpson: [over phone] Good afternoon, My name is Jack Simpson and you are a good-for-nothing layabout. Ha Ha!
Dave Jackson: [over phone] Hi Jack. How's it going?
Jack Simpson: Shithouse. I just had this idiot on the line going on and on, so i told her to blow it out her arse. Still on for later?
Dave Jackson: Yeah.
Jack Simpson: Okay, I'll see you at the bowls club. I told that dumbfuck supervisor I've got a migraine coming on, so I reckon I'll get the arvo off. Ha ha ha
[Supervisor stops recording]
Jack Simpson: [sarcastically] Maybe a little long but otherwise I'd give it an... 85.21%
Supervisor: Hmm. You're fired, Simpson.