6.5/10
30,671
84 user 54 critic

Mean Machine (2001)

A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards.

Director:

Writers:

(earlier screenplay "The Longest Yard"), (screenplay) | 2 more credits »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
...
Doc
...
Governor
...
Burton
...
Massive
...
Trojan
...
Ratchett
...
Charlie Sykes
...
Tracey
...
Billy the Limpet
...
Bob Likely
...
Martin Wimbush ...
Z
David Reid ...
Barman
David Cropman ...
Second Barman
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Storyline

Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on...... Written by James Phillips

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

It's Not Just About Football, It's About Pride Inside! See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Crime | Drama | Sport

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language and some violence | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

26 December 2001 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

A Máquina  »

Box Office

Budget:

£2,500,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

£1,573,594 (UK) (28 December 2001)

Gross:

$92,191 (USA) (3 May 2002)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

David Kelly replaced Warren Mitchell. See more »

Goofs

In two scenes immediately before he is asked by Danny, whether he wants to play with them, the monk can be seen participating in the training. See more »

Quotes

Doc: Look at me. Sweet old man, huh? Bit bumbly, fill of jail-block wisdom. Cornerstone of the jail, put him with the foundations, right? Right. I didn't get to be the oldest con for breaking windows. Villains spend their lives shitting themselves that other criminals are going to see to them. So they get their retaliation in first, and twice as nasty. A bloke was coming after me, so I, uh... I went around to his digs and lobbed a grenade through the window. Left o'er after the war, you know, army ...
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Connections

Remake of The Longest Yard (1974) See more »

Soundtracks

Love Missile F1-11
Performed by Sigue Sigue Sputnik
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User Reviews

 
A Fun Ninety Minutes
5 December 2014 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

As a fan of the original Burt Reynolds movie, I had mixed feelings about this movie. On one side as a traditional football (soccer) fan and not a fan of American football, I though I'd get more enjoyment out of it. On the other side I love the original movie so much it would obviously suffer in comparison, and let's be honest Vinnie Jones is no Burt Reynolds.

Plot In A Paragraph: A disgraced former footballer is sent to jail for three years for drunkenly assaulting a police officer. Once there the Warden wants him to train the guards football team, he refuses, after a while he agrees to play in, and coach a team of cons to play the gaurds in a one off match.

Whilst not as enjoyable as the Burt Reynolds version, it is a lot of fun with Jason Statham stealing the show as The Monk!! While Danny Dyer gets a lot of laughs, likewise Vas Blackwood as Massive and David Kelly is touching as Doc.


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