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Mean Machine (2001)

R  |   |  Comedy, Drama, Sport  |  26 December 2001 (UK)
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Ratings: 6.5/10 from 28,044 users   Metascore: 45/100
Reviews: 84 user | 54 critic | 25 from

A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards.



(earlier screenplay "The Longest Yard"), (screenplay), 2 more credits »
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Cast overview, first billed only:
John Forgeham ...
Charlie Sykes
Billy the Limpet
Bob Likely
Martin Wimbush ...
David Reid ...
David Cropman ...
Second Barman


Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on...... Written by James Phillips

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Not Your Usual Suspects See more »


Comedy | Drama | Sport

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language and some violence | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:






Release Date:

26 December 2001 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

A Máquina  »

Box Office


£2,500,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

£1,573,594 (UK) (28 December 2001)


$92,191 (USA) (3 May 2002)

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


At the end of the movie the match commentators give the following speech: "Guards of Pentonville, guards of Wandsworth, Walton nick in Liverpool, policemen of Britain, traffic wardens and parole officers, wheel clampers, your boys have taken a hell of a beating today! A hell of a beating!" This speech is a direct reference to Norwegian sports commentator Bjørge Lillelien who made British headlines, when in 1981, Norway beat England during the 1982 World Cup qualifiers and he gave the following emotional response: "[In Norwegian] We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 at football! It is totally incredible! We have beaten England! England, home of giants: Looooord Nelson, Looooord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana. We have beaten them all, we have beaten them all! [In English] Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? [In Norwegian] Maggie Thatcher, I have a message to you during the election: We have beaten England out of the World Championship in football! Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing-bars around Madison Square Garden: [in English] Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!" However, despite the loss, England continued on to qualify for the World Cup finals, while Norway did not. See more »


Flipped shot: In the opening scenes, when Danny is being chased by the police, his driving position changes from right-hand drive to left-hand drive, then back again between shots. See more »


Massive: If you want any of life's little luxuries - chocolate, toothpaste, soft toilet paper - Massive is your man!
Danny Meehan: Massive?
Massive: It's ironic!
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Spoofed in She's the Man (2006) See more »


Love Missile F1-11
Performed by Sigue Sigue Sputnik
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User Reviews

Top class Brit flick!
23 January 2004 | by (Swindon, England) – See all my reviews

You simply cannot put this movie down, a great all British cast and a great all British sport, being British and a great lover of Manchester United, i was up for this film and it didn't diasappoint me in the slightest. Vinnie Jones was brilliant as Danny Meehan and Jason Statham as the 'Monk' was simply classic vintage stuff. The match is what the watchers of this film want to see and it is fantastically constructed, just one tip of advice, don't p*** of the 'Monk'

10/10 stars, classic stuff

32 of 36 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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