Trying to bootstrap his way out of Brooklyn's mean streets is Diamond, a rap musician. With his long-time pal Gage acting as his manager, he's trying to lay down a demo tape with cut-rate ... See full summary »
Martine offers Terry a lead on a foolproof bank hit on London's Baker Street. She targets a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth millions in cash and jewelry. But Terry and his crew don't realize the boxes also contain a treasure trove of dirty secrets - secrets that will thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal.
Stephen Campbell Moore
Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on...... Written by
At the end of the movie the match commentators give the following speech: "Guards of Pentonville, guards of Wandsworth, Walton nick in Liverpool, policemen of Britain, traffic wardens and parole officers, wheel clampers, your boys have taken a hell of a beating today! A hell of a beating!" This speech is a direct reference to Norwegian sports commentator Bjørge Lillelien who made British headlines, when in 1981, Norway beat England during the 1982 World Cup qualifiers and he gave the following emotional response: "[In Norwegian] We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 at football! It is totally incredible! We have beaten England! England, home of giants: Looooord Nelson, Looooord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana. We have beaten them all, we have beaten them all! [In English] Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? [In Norwegian] Maggie Thatcher, I have a message to you during the election: We have beaten England out of the World Championship in football! Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing-bars around Madison Square Garden: [in English] Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!" However, despite the loss, England continued on to qualify for the World Cup finals, while Norway did not. See more »
Flipped shot: In the opening scenes, when Danny is being chased by the police, his driving position changes from right-hand drive to left-hand drive, then back again between shots. See more »
Come on where's your manners Danny what would your old mum say?
Wish I met her.
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The bastard child of Greenfingers, Lock Stock, & Longest Yard
I just found this at my local library, and I was surprised I hadn't heard of it before. Now that I've seen it, I can see why it had gone unnoticed. Featuring a cadre of the main actors from "Greenfingers" and "Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels", when the opening credits rolled and I saw "Based on the film 'The Longest Yard'", I went "Uh oh". Being an American, is it unpatriotic of me to say I this is nearly the equal of the original? Of course, there's very few movies with Burt Reynolds that are worth more than a glance("Deliverance" being a huge exception). While "The Longest Yard" tried to be so hip and anti-establishment, "Mean Machine" is just fun, and we get to see David Kelly play a sweet old fart. Now there's a surprise, but he's so good at it! One-time sex symbol David Hemmings gets a big nod just for his eyebrows, which are massive, but he has this air of barely-controlled rage that I always enjoy, such as in "Last Orders", and I enjoyed seeing Vinnie Jones with long hair. Hey, it's only about an inch long, but that's long compared to most of his roles. There's some pathos, a tiny bit of sex, and some barely-adequate, mostly slapstick & boots in the groin humor. My favorite funny bit was the football commentary by Bob & Bob(Jason Flemyng & Jake Abraham), and the fact the guards' side wore kit that looked like Barstoneworth United("Ripping Yarns"- "Golden Gordon") All in all, as a prison movie, this is no "Green Mile". It's barely up with "Lucky Break". As a soccer/football movie, it's no "Goal!", but it's better than what I'd expect "Soccer Dog" was. It's fun, I was entertained, and that's not a bad thing. The only truly terrible thing is it forced me to look back at the work of Burt Reynolds for this review.
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