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Mean Machine (2001)

 -  Comedy | Drama | Sport  -  26 December 2001 (UK)
6.5
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Ratings: 6.5/10 from 26,030 users   Metascore: 45/100
Reviews: 80 user | 56 critic | 25 from Metacritic.com

A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards.

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(earlier screenplay "The Longest Yard"), (screenplay), 2 more credits »
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Title: Mean Machine (2001)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
...
Doc
...
Governor
...
Burton
...
Massive
...
Trojan
...
Ratchett
John Forgeham ...
Charlie Sykes
...
Tracey
...
Billy the Limpet
...
Bob Likely
...
Martin Wimbush ...
Z
David Reid ...
Barman
David Cropman ...
Second Barman
Edit

Storyline

Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on...... Written by James Phillips

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

It's Not Just About Football, It's About Pride Inside! See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Drama | Sport

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language and some violence | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

26 December 2001 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

A Máquina  »

Box Office

Budget:

£2,500,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$16,870 (USA) (22 February 2002)

Gross:

$92,191 (USA) (3 May 2002)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

At the end of the movie the match commentators give the following speech: "Guards of Pentonville, guards of Wandsworth, Walton nick in Liverpool, policemen of Britain, traffic wardens and parole officers, wheel clampers, your boys have taken a hell of a beating today! A hell of a beating!" This speech is a direct reference to Norwegian sports commentator Bjørge Lillelien who made British headlines, when in 1981, Norway beat England during the 1982 World Cup qualifiers and he gave the following emotional response: "[In Norwegian] We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 at football! It is totally incredible! We have beaten England! England, home of giants: Looooord Nelson, Looooord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana. We have beaten them all, we have beaten them all! [In English] Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? [In Norwegian] Maggie Thatcher, I have a message to you during the election: We have beaten England out of the World Championship in football! Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing-bars around Madison Square Garden: [in English] Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!" However, despite the loss, England continued on to qualify for the World Cup finals, while Norway did not. See more »

Goofs

When 'Nitro' is bundled into the back of a prison van, he knocks a guard's hat off. As the prison van doors are slammed shut, the guard's hat is still firmly on his head. See more »

Quotes

Doc: Look at me. Sweet old man, huh? Bit bumbly, fill of jail-block wisdom. Cornerstone of the jail, put him with the foundations, right? Right. I didn't get to be the oldest con for breaking windows. Villains spend their lives shitting themselves that other criminals are going to see to them. So they get their retaliation in first, and twice as nasty. A bloke was coming after me, so I, uh... I went around to his digs and lobbed a grenade through the window. Left o'er after the war, you know, army ...
See more »

Connections

Spoofed in She's the Man (2006) See more »

Soundtracks

Ooh La La
Written by Tom Anthony, Theo Keating, Lalo Schifrin
Performed by The Wiseguys
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Good football film! Apart from First 30 minutes!
3 January 2002 | by (Stoke-on-Trent, England) – See all my reviews

The Mean Machine starts badly, poor acting, TV movie quality, cheesy storyline and Vinnie Jones very wooden. Every prison movie cliche is there and it is awful for the first thirty minutes.

Then things start going right, Vinnie looks a lot more comfortable and the movie starts to get going and goes from strength to strength with loads of gags and some occasional violence to break things up a bit.

However, what this film is about is Football (Soccer) and what it delivers in so-far as Football action is excellent, I doubt if any film has captured the sport so captivating and also so funny!

I came out of this film happy that I had been well entertained for at least an hour, grit your teeth for the first thirty minutes and then sit back relax and watch some excellent Football action!!!


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