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Conversation with an Alien (2001)



Credited cast:
Earl E. Bates III ...
John Michael Lee ...


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Myst: The Really Awful Movie
24 April 2006 | by (Michigan) – See all my reviews

Wow. Just...wow. I have seen some stinkers in my time, but this one just takes the cake. I realize that this is a pretty bold statement, but there are no two ways about it - this movie has THE WORST computer graphics EVER.

Remember the game Myst? The original one? That's how this movie looks. The CGI stuff just LOOKS like it was done on a computer about 10 years ago. Every flippin' scene just screams VIDEO GAME!!! I'm serious here, the stuff is awful. Yet they keep right on using it, scene after scene after scene. Probably 2/3 of the movie plays like you're trapped on Myst island, only the plot sucks. More so.

Ah yes, the plot. Where to begin. First off, the movie claims to be "based on a true story." Their definition of "true" must be pretty close to my definition of "false," because nothing even remotely similar to ANY of the events in the movie EVER HAPPENED. It pretty much goes downhill from there. Of course, the fact that nothing appears to happen for long stretches doesn't help. Even worse, when stuff does happen, it's unintelligible. Frankly, the whole thing is a confused mess.

I'm not even going to mention the acting, which ranges from awful to farcical. Actually, the idea that this movie may have been intended as a spoof is easier to swallow, except for the fact that nothing particularly funny ever happens. Of course, that's only because nothing really happens at all.

This movie hurts. Big time. It's annoying, it's confusing, and it goes absolutely nowhere. And the CGI stuff still looks like some particularly crappy point-and-click adventure game from 1995. Seriously, do yourself a favor, pass this movie by and go play Riven. The graphics are a lot better and so is the acting (wow - never thought I'd be praising the acting in a Myst game). This one conversation you DO want to miss.

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