Primetime Glick (2001–2003)
[interviewing Mel Brooks]
Jiminy Glick: Now, I have to ask you. What's your beef with the Nazis?
Janeane Garofalo: [Jiminy is fidgeting and adjusting into odd seating positions] Are you alright?
Jiminy Glick: Yes. It's one of the advantages of only having one ball.
Adrien Van Voorhees: I'm Adrien Van Voorhees, and am I the only one who needs a Glick fix?
Audience: No! We do!
Adrien Van Voorhees: Damn straight!
Jerry Seinfeld: You're a overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, you know- completely out of your element, individual.
Jiminy Glick: [unphased] Aren't you kind.
Bill Maher: [after Jiminy describes his sex life] That's great. I always thought that was a whole front and you were gay, but that's, you know, just what I've heard.
Jiminy Glick: Now why, isn't that interesting coming from a 44-year-old bachelor.
Jiminy Glick: [to Julia-Louis Dreyfus] And let this always be a reminder to you... you are a special spirit. Thank you very much.
Jiminy Glick: [reconsidering] Oh, I hadn't heard the laugh yet.
[Julia's smile quickly fades]
Jiminy Glick: Oh, well, that can be taken out in editing.