Batman: Vengeance (2001 Video Game)
Mr. Freeze: Hope, Mr. Evers, will never warm cold blood. Only wrath could even stir it.
Alfred Pennyworth: Good evening, Master Bruce. I do hope you're getting along, despite my absence.
Jim Gordon: Y'know, it's funny. I somehow feel safer knowing the Joker's alive. A living madman is at least human. But dead, he's the stuff nightmares are made of... How did you know? Batman?
Batman: Any evidence that Mary could come up with five million dollars?
Batgirl: No way. That's insane.
Batman: Joker's insane. But not stupid. He must know something about Mary we don't.
The Joker: Look out, Mary. Heh-heh. Toby or not Toby? That is the question. Catch the Joker or save the boy? Aye, there is the rub.
The Joker: Oh well. Kill and the world dies with you; die and you laugh alone.
Batgirl: Where are you going?
Batman: Funnybones Warehouse.
Batgirl: What are you looking for?
Batman: I don't know.
Batgirl: Every cop in the city is looking for you...
Batman: The police are looking for Batman. He's not going.
[Harley Quinn drops a mallet on Batman's head, Joker catches it in mid-fall]
The Joker: Careful, Harley. You'll kill him.
Harley Quinn: But...
The Joker: But nothing. You're my hench-wench. Less wench, more hench, you molly-coddling little twit. Nobody kills the bat but me. Like so...
[Batman and Joker begin fighting]
[Joker is dangling off the edge of the Gotham Bridge]
The Joker: Seems like old times, eh, Bats? You, me, a vat of chemicals?
[Joker giggles hysterically]
Harley Quinn: Murderer.
Harley Quinn: No. Leave me alone. I'm through.
[she backs away from the Batman]
Harley Quinn: No more love. No more crime. No more nothing. I'm through...
the Joker: Heck of a joke, huh, Bats?
Batman: Hilarious. What's the punch-line?
the Joker: Hmph. Some detective. Here's the joke: I'm not dead, and Gotham is. The punch-line: It's all YOUR fault, Batsy.
Batman: The gasworks. The Prometheum. It was all you.
the Joker: That was me, but... Small potatoes. I wanted help, if I wanted to murder a whole city.
the Joker: Sure. Harley had you wrapped around her little... whatever... But I needed more! But I needed more! That's where you came in.
Batman: The gasworks.
the Joker: Ooh. Nice work with that one, Bats. Opening up those valves did wonders for this little "Burning Down Gotham" idea I've been kicking around.
Batman: But what about Ivy?
the Joker: Hah! I've met yams with a higher IQ than that wenchtable! But it was the quietest way to make as much Joker Toxin as I needed...
Batman: And the Prometheum?
the Joker: Well that's the burning question, isn't it?
Batgirl: Did you find anything?
Batman: All I know is that the Joker's not dead, and if we don't find him soon, he'll be the only one in Gotham who's not.
Batgirl: I've managed to find the tracking device you gave to Harley when she was wrapped up in her Mary act. Somebody's tagged it on the Mayor, and I just saw him give some big heavy in a trench coat a huge case of money.
Batman: The Mayor? What's he buying?
Batgirl: I don't know... Wait. Trench coat's just got on a north-bound El-Train. I'm tailing him...
Batgirl: Oh-NO! Batman, I need back-up - NOW! They - They're not even human...!
Harley Quinn: [singing] Take a break and play a while, doo da, doo da. Guaranteed I'll make you smile, oh the doo da day.
The Joker: Ah, Batsy, back again? You can't erase all your hard work now! It's all flames and giggles from here on out!
The Joker: No, No, NO! No fair! Somebody kill the Bat! I'll handle Gotham myself...
Batman: Any news about Harley?
Batgirl: None. She hasn't come out of Funnybone's warehouse since that night on Gotham Bridge. She's acting as though the Joker's really... dead.
Batgirl: He was working on some kind of miracle drug called Prometheum. But he lost federal funding. They said Prometheum was too unstable.
Batman: Unstable? How?
Batgirl: I'm not sure, but unstable enough to cause the government to cut funding for his research. This is where it gets interesting. After that, every increase in Evers' bank account was preceded by a major bank-job by the Joker.
Batman: Joker was funding Evers' research?
Batgirl: He's done stranger things.
Batman: Not without a punchline. Keep me posted.
Poison Ivy: You haven't destroyed my creation, Batman. You've only scratched the bark. You'll never reach the roots. Nature's like a hydra, Batman; you chop off one branch and ten grow to take its place! You may cut down a tree, but you'll never find your way out of the forest! Rise, my beauty! Our enemy still stands!
Batman: Isaac Evers?
Dr. Isaac Evers: Please! I didn't want it to go this far!
Batman: You! This is your show! You're the one trying to burn down the city!
Dr. Isaac Evers: No! Not the city! I never wanted to hurt anyone!
Batman: It's a little late for that.
Dr. Isaac Evers: It was an insurance scam! I just wanted to burn down Gotham Industrial! After Freeze destroyed my lab, I tried to collect for the damages, but I couldn't without revealing the names of my financial backers.
Batman: And you couldn't do that because the Joker was funding you. So you decided to burn it all. You hired the Joker's men and used the Joker's toys to throw the cops off your trail.
Dr. Isaac Evers: It was all I had left to do. But the clowns stopped listening to me. I can't control them anymore. They tied me up; they were trying to burn down the whole city! I swear, I never wanted to hurt anybody.
[Batman is silent]
Batman: [after rescuing Mary from Joker's cronies] Joker's after you.
Mary: [agitated] He's got my... he took my...
Mary: [shouting] Yes, Toby! He took my son! He says he'll kill him if I don't pay $5 million! I don't have that type of money!
Batman: Are you sure he has the boy?
Mary: [giving Batman a pocketknife with Toby's name on it] He sent this. He said if I didn't believe him... he'd... oh!
Batman: [gives Mary tracker] Here. Press the button if you're ever in trouble
The Joker: [halfway through the Batman vs. Joker fight] Uh, Harley, a little help here, slugger?
Harley Quinn: [to herself] Ooooo, now he needs my help, 'less wench' he says, 'more hench' he says.
Harley Quinn: You're on your own, puddin'!
The Joker: That Harley; won't kill for you, can't kill without you!
[goes back to fighting]
The Joker: So, after that, we're home free. Our friend in tights takes the bait, and after we lure him in, we string him up and drop him in the drink! Ha-ha-ha...! Any questions?
Thug: Yeah, well boss... me and some of the other guys were thinking, since we're fighting the Bat and all that, maybe we're not getting paid as much as we should. I mean, when I was working for the Penguin, we was getting benefits and a 401-k...
[Harley charges out of the shadows and hits him over the head with a mallet]
Harley Quinn: Well, now you're working for Mr. J, you chowderhead. You'll do what he says, and take what he gives, and hope it is not - A BULLET!
The Joker: Baby, you're the best!