Edit

(2001–2002)

Quotes

[Chau is trying to organize a protest rally to bring back the recently cancelled T.V. show "The Education of Max Bickford."]

Chau Presley: Check out my sign.

[Holds up a sign that reads "We Don't Need No Education!"]

Chau Presley: We don't need no education. Get it? *"Education"*, "The Education of Max Bickford".

Euan: But it says we don't need it.

Chau Presley: No it says "We *don't* need *no* education". It's a double negative, which means we *do* need it!

Mike Platt: Chau, I'm not sure how to tell you this but, I think your sign's a little retarded!

Chau Presley: Yeah, retarded. Like a fox!

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Chau Presley: If you hurt that girl I will kill you, nurse you back to health, and then kill you again!

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[repeated line]

Chau Presley: You know!

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Chau Presley: Euan, can I crash here tonight? My house is infested with ants.

Euan: Why don't you just spray them?

Chau Presley: I would, but my uncles would get really mad. You know!

[laughs]

Chau Presley: But seriously, I hate them.

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Euan: Mike, did you see them? There were boobies out for all to see! Did you see them chau? Boobies!

Mike Platt: I told you, she's Bohemian.

Chau Presley: Dude, why's it got to be about race with you?

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[Euan is talking to a doctor to get circumcised]

Dr. Wasserman: Let me ask you, have you given any thought to the kind of cut you would like?

Euan: Well uh, well no.

Dr. Wasserman: Would you like to pick one out from "The Big Book Of Penises"?

Euan: Uh, I suppose...

Dr. Wasserman: Joking! Joking!

Euan: Oh!

Dr. Wasserman: There is no "Big Book Of Penises"! I mean, maybe there is one, but I certainly don't have it!

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Euan: Water?

Mike Platt: No, thanks. I have one.

Euan: Oh, well I figured you might need a "backup". Just in case the other one runs out!

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Dr. Wasserman: Ahh, reading about Mel Gibson, I see. He's circumcised.

Euan: Really? It just says here that it rained a lot during the filming of "Braveheart".

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Mike Platt: [after Status' dog has farted, Mike is laughing] What? Gas is funny. And dog gas is like seven times as funny!

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Euan: Oh my God! I just met Krisie Lee's boyfriend

Chau Presley: Oh... was he a big guy? Oh! But with an ironic nick-name like "Tiny"!

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[Mr. Dexter banging on the door, and yells for Euan]

Euan: Oh God, what do I do?...

[looks at Liz]

Euan: Liz! Liz, Be my girlfriend!

Liz Lombardi: What?

Euan: Come on play along! You're fantasy's finally coming true!

[looks at Chau and Mike]

Euan: And you two...

Chau Presley: Uhhh... we're you're GAY friends!

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Euan: [opens the door to greet Mr. Dexter] Oh Mr. Dexter! How wonderful to see you! This is my girlfriend Liz, we're in a committed relationship totally monogomas!

Liz Lombardi: Yep I'm his girlfriend!

Euan: Yeah give some sugar baby!

Liz Lombardi: Oh!

[Euan kisses her]

Mike Platt: Hey!

[goes to stop them from kissing... ]

Chau Presley: [pulls Mike back to him... ] Oh don't worry Chau's got some sugar for you too!

[kisses Mike]

Mike Platt: [Mike mortified... pushes Chau away and runs for the door... stops... pauses... looks back at Chau and points at him... ] You just slipped me the toungue...

Chau Presley: [pulls Mike back] Dude they were kissing, so we had to kiss... Great you blew Euans whole scam!

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Jordan: Euan's uncircumsized, isn't that gross?

Nathan 'Status Quo': It's certainly gross to talk about it.

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Euan: [Mike is trying to change his image] Wait a minute, where are the clothes we bought you? I thought you were changing your image, you look exactly the same.

Mike Platt: [Slightly slurred] I don't think so.

[Sticks out his tongue to reveal a tongue-piercing]

Euan: You pierced your tongue?

Mike Platt: Yeah, no dit Derlock!

Liz Lombardi: Yeah, that reminds me. I've gotta go, I've got a date tonight.

Euan: Hang on, Mike's tongue-ring reminds you that you have a date tonight?

Liz Lombardi: Yeah. *He's* got a stud in his mouth...

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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