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L'auberge espagnole (2002) Poster

Quotes

Wendy: Xavier's gone to school. Okay?

Xavier's Mother: Ah, oui! Il est à la fac.

Wendy: What?

Xavier's Mother: La fac!

Wendy: LA "FUCK"?

Xavier's Mother: Yes. After fac he can telephone maman.

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Xavier: I'm French, Spanish, English, Danish. I'm not one, but many. I'm like Europe, I'm all that. I'm a real mess.

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Xavier: When you first arrive in a new city, nothing makes sense. Everythings unknown, virgin... After you've lived here, walked these streets, you'll know them inside out. You'll know these people. Once you've lived here, crossed this street 10, 20, 1000 times... it'll belong to you because you've lived there. That was about to happen to me, but I didn't know it yet.

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Wendy: Why do you always have to smoke joints in *my* room?

Alessandro: Because it's comfortable.

Lars: It's the only clean place in the apartment.

[Tobias and Soledad laugh nervously, Wendy looks desperate]

Soledad: Take it easy, Wendy.

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Wendy: I'm going to fuck!

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Xavier: He was just like the jerks I always try to avoid. Why was he so desperate to talk to me?

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Xavier: Urquinaona, which sounded Sioux, was added to the list of once bizarre-sounding names tucked into my brain. Urquinaona slipped in next to Honolulu, Punxsutawney, Piccadilly, Massachusetts, Saskatoon and Machu Picchu. It became normal and familiar.

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Xavier: Later, much later, back in Paris, each harrowing ordeal will become an adventure. For some idiotic reason, your most horrific experiences are the stories you most love to tell.

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Xavier: It was like I'd always lived in this mess. Their bickering was like the constant drone in my head since childhood.

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Isabelle: Chicks are wacko, I swear.

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Juan: Been in Barcelona long?

Xavier: Two month.

Juan: [correcting Xavier] Two months.

Xavier: Yeah, fuck. Two months.

Juan: Exactly. You spend too much time in school. Come here more often. This is where you'll learn about Barcelona!

[... ]

Juan: Come back. I'll teach you 'puta madre' Spanish in two months.

Xavier: Puta madre?

Xavier: [voice over] I was fluent in 'puta madre' Spanish in no time. I immediately became a regular.

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Isabelle: It's funny. Guys understand nothing about women. It's ridiculous. Each sex off in their own dark corner... While if a guy took an interest in women, he'd be a pig in shit.

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Isabelle: It's a shame you're not a girl.

Xavier: The world's badly made.

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[Xavier is trying to convince Wendy to come with the gang to a night club]

Wendy: Xavier, I can't. I've... I've really got to write, okay?

Xavier: But, Wendy, you will write tomorrow. Come on!

Wendy: No. This is my diary. You know, I need to be disciplined.

Xavier: Wendy, you're too serious, you know!

Wendy: What do you mean, I'm too serious?

Xavier: You are not a nun! Come on! Come with us tonight, please!

Wendy: Listen! I'm not a nun! I just don't want to go out with... e-e-everyone! I don't like clubs and... and I don't like dancing. Maybe I'm not your idea of a typical trendy London girl, but techno music bulls me, all right? And if I'm a nun because I don't get out of this house enough for you guys, then that's too bad!

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Isabelle: It's contradictory to defend Catalan at the very moment we're creating a European Union.

Catalan Student 2: I don't agree. First of all, because we're dicussing identity. There's not one single valid identity, but many varied and perfectly compatible identities. It's a question of respect. For example, I have at least two identities: my Gambian identity, which I carry internally, and my Catalan identity. It's not contradictory to combine identities.

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[first lines]

Xavier: It all started here. At take off. No, this isn't a story about taking off. Yeah, that's the real beginning.

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Xavier: As a kid I was blond, and wanted to write. I changed. We can change, can't we?

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Xavier: I'd just like to know what forms I need - for the file... So, it's complete.

University Secretary: Well, a post-graduate Eramus file isn't complicated. It's all listed on the small form. You need the agreement of your advisor here, the agreement of your advisor there, agreements from your university there and here, your student I.D. That's imperative! You're under SMEREP or MNEF?

Xavier: MNEF.

University Secretary: Then, go to the MNEF office, building D, ground floor, and ask for form E111. And don't go "pfft". Without it, you can't be reimbursed for any medical expenses, okay? So, fill out all the forms. This needs a resumC, a letter of intent, the title of your thesis, and all these things here! That's all!

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Xavier: I don't know why the world became such a mess... Complicated, made like shit, out of whack. Before there were fields, cows, chickens. It was much simpler. They had a direct relationship with things.

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Martine: [Reading a children's book] What a horror!

Xavier: What's a horror?

Martine: It's so sexist. This putrified vision of women.

Xavier: Why do you say that? Because she feeds the chickens and tends the cows?

Martine: No, but - Obviously, that's your fantasy. A nice little girl in a short skirt, rosy cheeks.

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Anne-Sophie: I'm so happy with Jean-Michel. I really wanted to come, to forge a life together. But, at the same time, it scares me. To change my life, learn a new language. Like I'm about to climb a huge mountain.

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Wendy: Alright, I'll do it. Wendy does bloody everything in this house.

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Wendy: [sarcastically after Xavier and newly arrived girlfriend Martine leave the table to take a "nap"] Oh, ah! Ooh-la-la!

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Xavier: Love's a bitch! It's so hard!

Isabelle: Yeah.

Xavier: And yet I love her. But this!

Isabelle: It's the same for me. Sabine left starring daggers at me. Well, it's true that...

Xavier: That what?

Isabelle: I was stupid to say I got hit on!

Xavier: Oh, yeah? By what, a guy?

Isabelle: Of course not! By my Flamenco instructor.

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Anne-Sophie: Barcelona's such a dirty city.

Xavier: No more so than Paris.

Anne-Sophie: Yes it is. So many corners seem so "third world".

Xavier: I know just as many in Paris, but you wouldn't know them.

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Anne-Sophie: Do you find me repressed?

Xavier: No.

Anne-Sophie: Yes, you do. I can image what you think: "The poor thing's so repressed."

Xavier: That's not true.

Anne-Sophie: Old-fashioned?

Xavier: A little, yeah, sure. You're not too "Chiquita Banana".

Anne-Sophie: And what's that?

Xavier: You're not too hip, you know that.

Anne-Sophie: Yes, I know that. Does that bother you?

Xavier: No.

Anne-Sophie: Well, it bothers me. I'm not an idiot, you know. You, you're at ease, everywhere, all the time. You learn Spanish in a few months, you're friendly with everyone. I can't do that. I don't have your education. I'm not casual. I know you've got to be "cool" here. I'm not cool. "Hip," as you say.

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Isabelle: You think it's all in the cock! Caresses are really important.

Xavier: I know.

Isabelle: Yeah, but you certainly don't do it well. Here, look. Come on. Come here!

Xavier: What?

Xavier: When you caress a girl's ass, you caress her here... Here, on the ass.

Isabelle: No, but wait.

Xavier: You part her thighs.

Xavier: I'm embarrassed.

Isabelle: No, I'll show you. Hold her firmly against you. Keep her from moving. She's got to feel your grip! Contrary to what they say, most women want that grip, to be your prisoner.

Xavier: No, wait, stop! What are you doing?

Isabelle: Relax! I'm just explaining. Shall I continue?

Xavier: Yeah, okay. Go on.

Isabelle: So you press her body against yours. You caress her hair, the nape of her neck, her breasts. She'll be like you, she'll panic. You calm her. You take your time. Now a lesson in "giving pleasure"!

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Xavier: It was too good! Like in the movies, I swear! First she was like, "No, no, no." Then it was, "Yes, Ah yes, yes!" I didn't know that was possible.

Isabelle: I told you, they're all sluts.

Xavier: You're right, it's incredible! Next time I'll grab her and say, "Here! Suck you big slut"

Isabelle: Stop! Don't talk like that. No.

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Xavier: I only understood later. Life can be worse than a bad sitcom.

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Xavier: My life's always been a mess! Complicated, pathetic, untidy, completely chaotic. Life seems simpler for everyone else. More logical, you know?

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William: Do you know how they reproduce?

Xavier: No.

William: Right. Say your the female fly. Yeah? And I'm the male fly. And basically what they do is they - the male fly flies around like - buzzzzzzzzzz! And they don't know where they're going. Buzzzzzz! And he's going to go around again and he sees the female fly. Buzzz! Then he goes - buzzzzzzz! He spits! Like that. And she's pregnant. See? Nature - crazy isn't it?

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Wendy: What can I say, I'm attracted to him. You know? He's different. He's fun! The other night when we all spent together and he played the guitar and we all sang, it was great. I loved that.

Xavier: "No woman, No cry?"

Wendy: Yeah, "No woman, No cry." What's wrong with that?

Xavier: You're affected by that, Wendy? But, it's f*ckin' ridiculous!

Wendy: Look,it's just f*cking sex, Xavier! Okay? I like having sex with him.

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Xavier: Why'd you tell me that?

Martine: I told you because - because - because I wanted to hurt you. I knew you loved me. But sometimes you've got to hit where it's going to hurt.

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Xavier: I knew that was the last time we'd ever kiss. I thought of our first kiss. It was on the Rue d'Orchampt on the tiniest sidewalk in Paris. So much happened between those kisses. So many streets traversed. So many convoluted routes. Just to wind up here. Today. Without her.

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Xavier: It was a neighborhood in Parisians never visited. I was a foreigner among foreigners. What was I doing there? I don't know. I never seem to know. I must be typical.

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Xavier: I choose a future without prospects. I'm going to do what I've always wanted. I'm going to write.

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Xavier: [final lines] It all started here. When my plane took off. It's not a story about taking-off. After all, it is a story about taking off. It all started here.

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