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How to Make a Monster
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Reviews & Ratings for
How to Make a Monster (TV) More at IMDbPro »

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Grade F Horse Meat

Author: ManOrAstroMan (PistolPez0516@yahoo.com) from Grand Rapids, MI
28 April 2003

This, on paper, has to rank up there as one of the dumbest things I've ever watched. But as I watched it, I found myself unable to stop watching. It is a suspenseful sci-fi with very little production value but intelligent writing and an appropriate cast. I am not going to brag about it to my friends like if I'd seen some blockbuster thriller, but I will admit to having seen it and maybe watch again....and Clea Duvall is still hot...

Final Score: a very made-for-cable 7/10 stars.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

trash

Author: The_KinG_0F_iR0n_FiST from usa
7 April 2003

this movie was a complete waste of time. horrible effects, worse acting, and some of the weakest camera work i've seen in a while. the story itself is horrid, revolving around a monster in a video game that comes to life. and at the end there's some arbitrary effort at getting a message across to the viewer about the corruption of the world. it's the most cliche thing i've ever seen. don't waste your time.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Entertaining

Author: Christie from US
1 April 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

small insignificant spoiler

This, by no means, seems to be intended to be a great movie, but it's fun to watch and fun to laugh at. It's not to be taken seriously, so what if the technical stuff is wrong, we are talking about a movie that gets a quick laugh from a woman jumping up and down naked...buy it for a cheap price and crack it out when you need a quick laugh, or a good Clea DuVall fill (that is, if you don't watch But I'm a Cheerleader, Wildflowers, the Faculty, or the Slaughter Rule first)

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

god awful

2/10
Author: anthromayer from Ottawa
10 November 2002

Okay this movie has a big major flaw. The term overlord cannot be used when refering to a an EVIL creature from hell. I believe the correct term would be underlord. Maybe when they fix the name of the evil machine they can start to work on the awful plot line.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Tyler Mane is the greatest actor ever.

Author: Kelly from New York, USA
17 September 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

----slight spoiler-----

As a die hard Tyler Mane fan i forced myself to see this . Although he is the third name listed , Tyler's character 'Hardcore' does not get nearly enough screen time. the movie is about 3 unconventional programers who take all the evil of the world and put it in to a videogame creation. Hardcore, is the weapon (designing) expert, who keeps actual weapons in his office. If you've seen him in Scorpion king, and Joe dirt, you'll know that his screen presence alone is worth the money. the scenes where he is fighting with the other programmers, perfecting his art on the computer, or even his finally bloody scene with he actually tried to fight the monster, show that Tyler has the potential to be the next great action hero.

I diden't stop watching after he was cut in to pieces (athough i turned off the sound and covered my eyes, for about 10 minutes). the ending leaves you with a sense of personal stregnth, and a powerful message about the true meaning of self worth.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

1/10
Author: Cin-38 from My Box
17 May 2002

I hate to sound critical or anything. BUT! There are way too many glowing reviews for this film. People acually seem to think this is as scary as Suspiria. Anyone who actually seeks enjoyment from this film outside of a so-bad-its-good-attitude is a cinematic masochist. Anyone who finds this movie scary has emotional problems.

Are we so deprived of good horror movies (or bad ones for that matter) that we have to accept this as scary? SCARY? The acting was scary and that's about it.

I think we should crucify Tyler Mane. Hardcore? A computer geek named hardcore? Something wrong here? I mean we all the other stereo-types to make a good crappy horror movie, why did they put him in there? Did anyone try to act in this film? Even Clea DuVall (whom I enjoy very much) seemed to meander through the scenes reading her lines with all the zeil and emotion of a UPS truck.

Another problem I have with the reviews of this movie is everybody seems to think it's so original. ORIGINAL? I'm sorry to insult your IQ (actually I'm not) but exactly how many machine-built-for-good-turns-evil-kills-everything-computer-withamindofitsow n movies have there been?

The real flaw in this movie is that it takes itself too seriously. The director really thought he was making another Alien. Hence the "claustrophobic" environment. Monster creature running around a small area hiding and killing obnoxious crew members one-by-one seems to be the real theme. Problem, Alien was original in its time. Also, it had good writing, good acting, and characters to care about.

But back to the taking itself too seriously part. Besides a few pre-monster shenadigans by the nerds, the film plays it straight. Bad move. Really there is nothing to take seriously about this movie.

What's scary about bad writing, sloppy direction, wooden acting, and a plot that's been worn out since the 80's? Absolutely nothing. Unless you have a need to watch a movie you need to make fun of all the through.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

I love Clea but barf!

Author: mndjoy (mndjoy@aol.com) from Pennsylvania
2 March 2002

This movie, in a word, BITES! I agree with a previous comment. These are computer geniuses and they don't think to unplug the stupid suit before they leave? The movie starts off very slow with no point. Abruptly in the middle we switch to a blood and gore horror flick with no point. The action is too close together and too much violence that need not be there. And the end, when she holds up the blood spattered disc. That is SOOOO tacky. Like who wouldn't wash the blood off? Well, they did make a monster. A monstrosity of a movie. But you'll learn, intern. You'll learn.

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1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

A Poor Effort

3/10
Author: MK25 from Utah
8 December 2001

This is just a bad low-budget would-be horror film. I felt sorry for Clea Duvall and the others involved. Lame predictable plot. Laughable when it tries to get serious with its morale at the end. If you liked this you'll love Hardware (1990) with Dylan McDermott fighting a similar looking cyborg monster.

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2 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

it was better than i thought it would have been.

8/10
Author: Trachtenberg from Scotland
3 August 2002

first off the best part of the movie was Tyler Mane i think the numour also had a helping hand in making it good.

the movie is about a game development company who are trying to make the scariest video game available at first they fail to do that and the team who are working on the game are fired and a bunch of odd balls are brought in to replace them. the team of replacments consist of a computer programming genius and a music expert and a weapons expert(tyler mane).

they start working on the game and next thing we know they start fighting every now and again with each other like one time (which i thought was funny)the guy who`s in charge was talking too the intern and she looked at the security monitor in midconversation and said ``oh no they`re at it again`` and you saw (Hardcore-Tyler Mane) having a fight with the computer genius.

it is little pieces of humour like that ,that i like when watching a movie instead of a strait up comedy.

in between the fighting amongst themselves they work on the game and a flash of lightning hits the powr supply box out side and causes a kind of overload in electricity and the game starts to take control of a specially built suit which the programmers use to mimic the movement of real peole and puts it into the game (when you see the movie it will make more sence) anyway the suit if you can believe it comes alive and kills one of them and uses they`re body to get better control of the suit.

anyway what happens after that is they find out that the only way to beat the suit/game is to play the game and win. if i tell any more there will be not much point in watching it so go watch it you may enjoy it :).

rating for this movie 8/10.

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0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Nothing but fun

5/10
Author: archerhatesyou from Indiana
27 January 2004

I only bought the film because Jason Marsden and Steven Culp are in it. I will admit, it was a terrible movie. But I was highly amused by it. I was laughing all the way through. I was doubled over by the company being named Clayton (and if you know things, you'll get why). And I absolutely love Jason. His hyper and insane antics in this film entertained me to the end. And had I known that a song by Poe was incorporated into the film, I would have sought it out sooner.

All the main actors were perfect and wonderful; The score was fun. I know it's supposed to be scary, but I can't help but call it a fun movie. I feel that if they had given more time and money into it, by using the same actors and script, it could have looked much better than it does. I think that's what people mostly have qualms with, the quality of it. Think; If it had been given the thought and care that, let's say, Thir13en Ghosts got, it would have been just as popular as that, and vice versa.

Now, I didn't think it was totally obvious at all. I wasn't surprised by the end, but I didn't predict it all, either. Maybe I'm just stupid, or maybe it was 1:00 in the morning, or maybe I just hate you, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good for a laugh - whether it be at the witty lines or the 'special effects' - no matter who you are.

So for the movie as a whole - 3/10. Sorry.

But as for the acting and the actors' execution of lines, 10/10.

Be amused.

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