The Banger Sisters (2002)
Lavinia: You don't think they were maybe just skinny dipping?
Suzette: No they were going at it.
Lavinia: You don't think maybe they were just rubbing up against each other?
Suzette: No they were fucking.
Suzette: Do the dishes you wash you dry!
Ginger: Rosa does them.
Suzette: Rosa who?
Ginger: I dunno...
Suzette: You have people wiping your ass and you don't even know their name!
Suzette: See that bathroom? Jim Morrison passed out in there one night, with me underneath him.
Club Owner: Jim Morrison is a ghost and so are you.
Suzette: Vinnie, stop it. Okay? 'Cause you're going right up your own asshole, and i don't feel like following!
Suzette: I saw this guy, he was on a stretcher. His face was all purple and I thought he was dead. Even he looked at my tits.
Lavinia: Maybe you revived him.
Hannah: [graduation speech] I hate feeling fake more than anything in the world. You wouldn't believe what people tell you; "you've gotta get into college, you've gotta figure out what you wanna do, you've gotta make money" and we're going... my God, I feel like I'm still a kid practically, but your teachers and your parents and everybody's got everything planned out for you with high expectations. But what if it has nothing to do with you? You lose track of yourself, and that's fake! We're going into the future and I only have little clues as to what might be out there... sometimes I'm scared to death, and sometimes I'm really excited, and I just wish that for everybody in my class... no for everybody, that whatever you do, you do it true, even if you mess up... even if you fail. I'd rather fail doing my own thing, doing what I wanna do than doing that doing what someone else wants me to do and succeeding. I'd rather be fighting with my family than pretending it's all okay. To the graduating class of 2002, GO! Go into the world and do it true. Do it true!
Lavinia: I am the same color as the Department of Motor Vehicles and you look like A FLOWER.
Ginger: He failed me for NO REASON.
Lavinia: It says here you ran a red light.
Ginger: Mom, as if I'd do that in a test.
Harry: If everything isn't in order... I get... constipated
Suzette: [Looks over her drink] Like I needed to know *that*.
Suzette: You're spoiled brats. Okay, what's this?
Ginger: A banana hammock.
Suzette: A banana hammock. Not everybody has one of those.
Lavinia: I said we went to college together.
Suzette: I went to college? I'm a really bad liar Vinny!
Jake: Ah don't let him see you drinking!
Suzette: I've been drinking rum and coke since before he was born, he can go fuck himself.
Suzette: Ever heard of Frank Zappa?
Harry: Sure. The Mothers of Invention.
Suzette: Wow. Very good Harry. Well, he named us. The Banger Sisters.
Harry: But you weren't really sisters.
Harry: Good 'cause I wouldn't have been comfortable if you were sisters.
Suzette: You're not comfortable now, Harry.
Harry: [turns off Suzettes loud stereo] I'm 50.
Suzette: This had better be good cause you just fucked with my music.
Harry: I'm 50, and I'm going to give myself a birthday present. I'll tell you what it is but you have to promise not to judge.
Suzette: You gotta tell somebody, Harry.
Harry: I made myself a deadline. If I wasn't successful by the time I turned 50 then I'm coming back to Phoenix.
[takes a rifle out of his case]
Harry: I've never fired a gun in my life. It's got only one bullet. One bullet intended for one specific person.
Suzette: And who would that one person be, Harry?
Harry: My father. I'm going to Phoenix to kill my father.
Harry: I disappointed him! He hated me!
Lavinia: Oh for goodness sakes.
[Knocks Harry over with the car]
Lavinia: [to Suzette] My God, is that really you?
Suzette: Yep! Well, no. The tits aren't me. They're fake but in here somewhere it's me!
Suzette: You know that guy Harry, the guy you met? He doesn't drive. He might now, though, cuz we had sex last night. First time in ten years for that guy. I kinda liked it though, I felt like I was accomplishing something. Boy when he came it was like somebody in an electric chair.
Suzette: [on seeing Hannah at prom looking sick] Oh god, whats she on?
Jules: Nothing, we just had champange.
Suzette: Don't bullshit me.
Prom Girl: Shes on acid.
Suzette: How long ago did she drop it?
Prom Girl: Two hours maybe?
Suzette: Two hours she's gonna be really messed up, you guys should go.
Jules: Leave her here with you? We don't even know you.
Suzette: I'm a friend of her mother's.
Jules: Yeah, right Hannah's mother.
Suzette: Lavinia Kingsley, Handsome. Now go. Go on, get out here!
Harry: Her mother is Vinny?
Suzette: Yeah. Just breathe honey
[Hannah starts throwing up]
Suzette: Ooo wow... Just let it go. Let it go. Ooo there's another one, Harry you may never shit again!