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Teachers (TV Series 2001–2004) Poster

(2001–2004)

Quotes

Clare Hunter: A spastic is someone with cerebral palsy, not someone who misses an open goal on the football field, Mr Steadman.

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Kurt McKenna: Do you think J.P shagged her?

Brian Steadman: No, he's gay.

Kurt McKenna: Maybe he's bi-sexual?

Brian Steadman: Lucky bastard!

Kurt McKenna: How's that?

Brian Steadman: Coz you can shag anyone!

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Kurt McKenna: [Brian and Kurt attempt to dissuade Simon from going travelling in South America:] Brian, word association: Paris?

Brian Steadman: Croissants.

Kurt McKenna: Spain?

Brian Steadman: Bulls.

Kurt McKenna: South America?

Brian Steadman: Hostage situation.

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Clare Hunter: I never want to see "for being a mong" in the detention book again.

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Brian Steadman: This has nothing to do with you being fat, which you're not, you're just healthy... in a large way.

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Susan Gately: I'm going to have a baby.

Kurt McKenna: Can't you get the drinks in first?

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Kurt McKenna: Simon, will you please tell Brian that I don't need a lift?

Simon Casey: [noticing smoke from Kurt's bad cooking] What the fuck?

Brian Steadman: Simon, ask Kurt how else is he gonna get to school.

Kurt McKenna: Tell Brian I'm gonna use Simon's bike!

Brian Steadman: Remind Kurt that he broke Simon's bike at the weekend.

Simon Casey: [angry] You broke Simon's bike?

Kurt McKenna: Remind Brian he promised not to tell Simon that I'd broken his bike!

Simon Casey: [to Brian] How did he break my bike?

Kurt McKenna: Kurt's not sure.

Brian Steadman: He dropped it.

Simon Casey: [angry] How can you fucking drop it?

Kurt McKenna: Please thank Brian for putting Kurt in the shit!

[storms off]

Brian Steadman: Tell Kurt that he still hasn't told Brian how he's going to get to school!

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Kurt McKenna: [about JP] He loves Christmas

Brian Steadman: [mimicking JP] It's fucking magic!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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