Mother Goose is on trial for obscenity because she wants to tell the "real" versions of her tales. Jack explores the Giant's wife, the Prince checks if "he" fits Cinderella and Red Riding Hood gets abused on her way to a wedding.
The movie features three animated segments with live action wraparound story. In the sexless live action part, Mother Goose, played by a man in drag, is on trial for obscenity because she wants to tell the real suppressed versions of her tales. Young Jack is a doofy horn dog kid who sells his cow to a pervy dwarf for sex with a hot gypsy woman and some beans. Once the beanstalk grows sky high, Jack climbs it and ends up inside the Giant's wife, literally. Even his horny pet frog gets in on the action when it sees a busty peasant girl washing up at the lake. In the second segment, Prince Charming has a dreamlike tryst with secretive virginal Cinderella one night and goes on a search to find this mysterious virgin by checking the naughty parts of every women in his kingdom along the way. Also, even the phrase "happily ever after" gets a different meaning here. In the final segment, ditsy voluptuous Little Red Riding Hood who keeps forgetting to put her cloths on gets sexually abused by ...
[Yawning after having sex with Little Red Riding Hood]
Thou it was a ripe annual fucketh Miss, thy firey cunt will stir pleasing memories, please if it pleases you proceed to yonder wedding
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One would hope for a little bit of tongue-in-cheek humor from a film like this. Nearly every male American can remember at least one occasion where he and his childhood friends spent an hour or an afternoon drawing (what they believed was) the female form in all it's bare beauty. But at some point, most of us grew out of that phase or at least elevated it to an art form in art classes with nude models. This film however, is a return to those inane, dunderheaded attempts to self-stimulate with poorly-sketched, explicit naughtiness. From the atrocious live-action moments that closely mirror the stiffness of early John Waters movies' "stars", to the lackluster animation, this film is a complete waste of celluloid. The vignettes are obscene, which isn't a deal-breaker, in and of itself, but they are also absolutely incoherent and moronic faux-narratives. Any letter printed in Penthouse is more structured and inspired. Avoid at all costs!
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