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"Twin Peaks" Pilot (TV Episode 1990) Poster

(TV Series)

(1990)

Quotes

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: You know why I'm whittling?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Okay, I'll, I'll bite again. Why are you whittling?

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down, not speed up.

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[first lines]

Pete Martell: Gone fishing.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Who's the babe?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: That is one of the most beautiful women in the state, Mrs. Packard.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Packard Sawmill?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Yep.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Where's Mr. Packard?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Died in a boating accident last year. Andrew Packard practically built this town. Brought her over from Hong Kong six years ago. Left her everything, which didn't exactly please his sister. That's her right there. The original deep freeze.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Who's the glad-handing dandy?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Benjamin Horne, local big wig, he owns half the town. He's not after her, he's after her land.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Who's the lady with the log?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: We call her the log lady.

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Dale Cooper: [speaking into tape recorder] Diane, I'm holding in my hands a small box of chocolate bunnies.

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Harry Truman: Do you think they spotted us?

Cooper: Give me a donut.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Sheriff, what kind of fantastic trees have you got growing around here? Big, majestic.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Douglas firs.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: [Marveling] Douglas firs...

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[introduction]

The Log Lady: Welcome to Twin Peaks. My name is Margaret Lanterman. I live in Twin Peaks. I am known as the Log Lady. There is a story behind that. There are many stories in Twin Peaks - some of them are sad, some funny. Some of them are stories of madness, of violence. Some are ordinary. Yet they all have about them a sense of mystery - the mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of death. The mystery of the woods. The woods surrounding Twin Peaks. To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the all - it is beyond the "fire", though few would know that meaning. It is a story of many, but begins with one - and I knew her. The one leading to the many is Laura Palmer. Laura is the one.

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Dale Cooper: Who's the lady with the log?

Sheriff Truman: We call her the Log Lady.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Diane, 11:30 a.m., February Twenty-fourth. Entering the town of Twin Peaks, five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. I've never seen so many trees in my life. As W. C. Fields would say, I'd rather be here than Philadelphia. Fifty-four degrees on a slightly overcast day. Weatherman said rain. If you could get paid that kind of money for being wrong sixty percent of the time, it'd beat working. Mileage is seventy-nine thousand three hundred forty-five, gauge is on reserve, riding on fumes here, I've got to tank up when I get into town. Remind me to tell you how much that is. Lunch was, uh, six dollars and thirty-one cents at the Lamplighter Inn, that's on Highway Two near Lewis Fork. That was a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, slice of cherry pie, and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way that cherry pie is worth a stop. Okay. Looks like I'll be meeting up with the, ah, Sheriff Harry S. Truman. Shouldn't be too hard to remember that. He'll be at the Calhoun Memorial Hospital. I guess we're going to go up to intensive care and take a look at that girl that crawled down the railroad tracks off the mountain. When I finish there I'll be checking into a motel. I'm sure the sheriff will be able to recommend a clean place, reasonably priced. That's what I need, a clean place, reasonably priced.

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Cooper: Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: [Referring to an impressive array of doughnuts] A policeman's dream.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: I think I saw a cottontail rabbit!

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: It must have been a snowshoe rabbit.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Snowshoe?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Right.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Snowshoe. Snowshoe rabbit.

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Benjamin Horne: If you'll permit me, Sven, to repeat what you told me this morning after your run: "My air sacks have never felt so good."

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: I will remind you that these crimes occurred at night.

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Dr. Will Hayward: [He sees Bobby Briggs pretending to surf on the hood of his car with a beer in hand] You're not drinking and driving, are you?

Mike 'Snake' Nelson: Well we're, uh, all pretty broken up about what happened today, sir. Besides, Bobby is doing most of the driving.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Sheriff, that reminds me. Can you recommend to me a good, inexpensive hotel or motel? Now it doesn't have to be fancy and I mean that.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I can get you a good rate up at the Great Northern.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Because you know, I think I'm going to be here for some time, and these motels, they'll promise you a good rate and when you get there it's a whole different story. Now all I need is a bed, a bathroom, a telephone, and sometimes a television in the unlikely event that one day I'll get a chance to knock off early.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I can get you a good rate up at the Great Northern.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Sold. Well, tomorrow comes early.

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Bobby Briggs: [to James Hurley] When you least expect it...

[He and Mike Nelson bark and howl]

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: [He sees the Log Lady seated nearby, cradling her log and drinking coffee] Log Lady.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Right.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: [He waves to her] Hi.

[She looks away]

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Can I ask her about her log?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Many have.

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Cooper: Gentlemen. When two separate evens occur simultaneously pertaining to the same object in inquiry we must always pay strict attention.

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Benjamin Horne: We have solid information that the Packard Sawmill is going to go belly-up within a year. We're going to be able to get it for a song. One verse, no chorus.

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Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I suppose you want me to follow them at a discreet distance.

FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Harry, you're all right.

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Pete Martell: Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You're not gonna believe this, there was a fish in the percolator!

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Pete Martell: Harry? She's dead. Wrapped in plastic.

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Sarah Palmer: [yelling for Laura to come downstairs] Laura! I'm not gonna tell you again! Yes I am. Laura!

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Pete Martell: [about serving coffee to Dale Cooper and Sheriff Truman] Mr. Cooper, how do you take it?

Dale Cooper: Black as midnight on a moonless night.

Pete Martell: Pretty black.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: Oh Diane, I almost forgot. Got to find out what kind of trees these are. They're really something.

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Sven Jorgenson: Excuse me, is there something wrong, young pretty girl?

Audrey Horne: They found my friend Laura... lying facedown on a rocky beach... completely naked. She'd been murdered.

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Deputy Andy Brennan: Listen, the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors. Naturally, I applied because it was my civic duty... and I like whales. A routine physical revealed that I was sterile. Sure I thought that meant that I didnt have to take a bath. But then they told me the truth. Cheryl, I cant have babies. So how are you pregnant?"

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Bobby Briggs: You think because I wasn't at football practice that I killed my girlfriend?

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Jocelyn 'Josie' Packard: Peter, push the plug.

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Sheriff Harry S. Truman: This is Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Dr. Lawrence Jacoby: [He removes an earplug] Gary Cooper?

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Agent Cooper.

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FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: There's over ten thousand dollars here. That's a lot of Girl Scout cookies.

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Joey Paulsen: [Commenting on the arrival of Mike and Bobby] Scotty, Mutt and Jeff just crawled in.

Biker Scott: Oh, what a wonderful world.

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[taping a message to Diane]

Dale Cooper: Diane, it's 4:10 in the afternoon at the scene of the crime. Here's something we haven't seen before: a mount of dirt. Approximately a foot and a half in diameter. On the top is a gold necklace with a gold heart. Correction, half a gold heart. At the base of the mount of dirt is a torn piece of news print. Written with the words, which appear to be in blood: 'fire walk with me'.

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Sarah Palmer: Laura, sweetheart, I'm not going to tell you again.

[She takes a drag on a cigarette]

Sarah Palmer: Yes I am. Laura!

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Mike 'Snake' Nelson: Donna, you get to the sheriff's right now.

[He drives off, tires squealing]

Donna Hayward: Boy, I sure know how to pick 'em, huh.

Nadine Hurley: [Nadine opens the front door of her house and yells] Ed! You waiting for those drapes to hang themselves?

Big Ed Hurley: Yo, okay!

[Nadine goes inside, slamming the door]

Big Ed Hurley: Well, I know how to pick them too.

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Bobby Briggs: Norma, I'll see you in my dreams.

Norma Jennings: Not if I see you first.

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Pete Martell: Oh dear. Lucy? Lucy, this is Pete Martell. Lucy, put Harry on the horn.

Lucy Morgan: Sheriff, it's Pete Martell up at the mill. Uh, I'm going to transfer it to the phone on the table by the red chair. The red chair against the wall. The little table with lamp on it. The lamp we moved from the corner? The black phone, not the brown phone.

Sheriff Truman: Morning, Pete. Harry.

Pete Martell: She's dead, wrapped in plastic.

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Pete Martell: [about Cooper's coffee] How do you like yours?

Dale Cooper: Black as midnight on a moonless night.

Pete Martell: Pretty black.

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Dale Cooper: I still can't get the taste of fish-filtered coffee out of my mouth.

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One-Armed Man: In the darkness of futures past The magician longs to see One chance heart between two worlds Fire walk with me.

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Pete Martell: Lucy? This is Pete Martell. Lucy, put Harry on the horn.

[whispers]

Pete Martell: Oh dear.

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Bobby Briggs: Norma, see you in my dreams.

Norma Jennings: Not if I see you first.

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Pete Martell: [calling the police to report the discovery of body of Laura Palmer] She's dead... wrapped in plastic...

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Ronette Pulaski: Don't go there Laura! Don't go there!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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