Where Eskimos Live (2002)Sharkey, part of the sinister world of child trade, picks up Vlado, an orphan of war, dreaming of freedom and a better life. They embark upon a strange and enlightening journey through war ... See full summary » Director:Tomasz Wiszniewski |
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This film easily ranks as one of the worst movies I have ever seen! And I don't mean that in a "so-bad-it's-almost-good" kind of way. The nicest thing I can say about it was that it was well-intentioned. The plot was embarrassingly amateurish, and relied on several bizarre coincidences. For example, the entire premise (and hence the title) rests on the fact that the boy, Vlado, who has been orphaned in the Bosnian conflict, dreams of escaping to Norway, because that's "where Eskimos live". But, inexplicably, Bob Hoskins' character, Sharkey (who is supposed to be Polish) introduces himself to Vlado by saying he comes from Norway. This is never explained, but we are meant to accept that Vlado somehow trusts Sharkey, because he says he Norwegian. What's also inexplicable is just how bad Bob Hoskins (sublime in films like "Felicia's Journey") is in this film. He didn't phone in his performance - he asked a casual acquaintance to email it for him. Hoskins' accent veered from Cockney to very fake-sounding upper-crust British, to very fake-sounding sort-of Polish. Then he just gave up and grunted like a dyspeptic bear. But the other actors weren't any better. If you want to see a good film about the Bosnian conflict, try "Cabaret Balkan" or "No Man's Land". Just don't waste any time or money trying to get through "Where Eskimos Live".