[Mr. Grey asks Lee why she cuts herself]
E. Edward Grey: Why do you cut yourself, Lee?
Lee: I don't know.
E. Edward Grey: Is it that sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface and when you see evidence of the pain inside, you finally know you're really here? Then, when you watch the wound heal, it's comforting. Isn't it?
Lee: I... That's a way to put it.
[Mr. Grey tells Lee that they both can't keep doing these sex acts]
E. Edward Grey: We can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lee: Why not?
[Lee talks about Mr. Grey and how in love she is with him]
Lee: [narrating] In one way or another, I've always suffered. I didn't know why, exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I've ever felt, and I've found someone to feel with, to play with, to love, in a way that feels right for me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers, too. And that I want to love him.
[Lee see's her father from the other side of the desk, reading to her]
Burt Holloway: 'You are the child of God's holy gift of life. You come from me, but you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.'
Lee: [Lee smiles] Thank you, Daddy.
[Lee talks about Mr. Grey as he runs his hands down her naked body]
Lee: [narrating] Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was. I told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil, and he loved me back.
[Lee see's her doctor from the other side of the desk, asking her]
Dr. Twardon: Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?
[Lee refuses to remove her hands from the desk as Mr. Grey instructed her to]
Peter: Are you doing something sexual right now?
Lee: [Lee looks at Peter seriously] Does this look sexual to you?
Peter: [Peter yells out in confusion] I don't know, Lee! Why don't you move your hands?
Lee: [Lee looks away and responds with] Because I don't want to.
[Lee calls Mr. Grey from home to ask for his permission on what to eat at her dinner table]
Lee: [Lee tells Mr. Grey what her family is having for dinner] It's porterhouse steak, mashed, no, creamed potatoes. Green peas, iced tea, and ice cream.
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey responds on what to limit her on] Okay. Just a scoop of creamed potatoes, one slice of butter, four peas, and... as much ice cream as you'd like to eat, doll.
[Lee touches herself to the thought of Mr. Grey]
Lee: [Lee imagines Mr. Grey standing behind her, as she leans over his flower case] I'm your secretary. I'm your secretary.
Lee: [Lee lays in bed with her eyes closed moaning out] Just a scoop of creamed potatoes, one slice of butter, and four peas.
[Mr. Grey explains to Lee why he's firing her]
E. Edward Grey: I like you, Lee, but I don't think I'm going to offer you the job.
E. Edward Grey: It's your behavior.
Lee: What about my behavior?
E. Edward Grey: It's very bad.
[Mr. Grey tells Lee that he's shy]
E. Edward Grey: Are you shy? I'm shy.
Lee: You're not shy. You're a lawyer.
E. Edward Grey: I'm shy. But I overcome my shyness... in order to get things done.
Lee: I don't think you're shy.
[Mr. Grey interviews Lee again about being his secretary]
E. Edward Grey: Do you really wanna be my secretary?
Lee: Yes, I do.
E. Edward Grey: This isn't just about typos, tapes, staples and pencils, is it, Lee?
Lee: No, sir.
E. Edward Grey: What?
Lee: No, sir!
[Mr. Grey fires Lee]
E. Edward Grey: I'm sorry. You can collect your things.
E. Edward Grey: Time-out? You're fired.
Lee: You're fired!
E. Edward Grey: You're fired. Now, Lee, get out!
[Lee slaps Mr. Grey's face]
[Lee see's her doctor from the other side of the desk, complimenting her]
Dr. Twardon: You know, Lee. There's a long history of this in Catholicism. The monks used to wear thorns on their temples. And the nuns, they wore them sewn inside their clothing. You are part of a great tradition.
[Lee reads in her head as she types in her typing class]
Lee: [voice-over] 'My flowers had just about given up in despair, so with the exception of a few potted plants from the florist, we're flowerless for the first Spring in years.'
[Mr. Grey hands Lee her last check before telling her to leave]
E. Edward Grey: I'm so sorry for what happened between us. I realize what a terrible mistake, I made with you. And I can only hope that you understand. Be assured you can count on me for excellent references.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee begins to cry] Get out.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee starts to sniffle] Get out.
Lee: What are you doing...
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey yells out] Get out!
Lee: [narrating] I got out of the institution on the day of my sister's wedding. I had started to get used to the place. Breakfast at 8:00, classes at 2:00. Therapy at 4:00, and asleep by 10:00.
Dr. Twardon: [Lee's doctor says goodbye] You can call me any time, Lee. I will always try to be of help to you.
Lee: [narrating] Inside, life was simple.
Lee: [Lee hugs her doctor] Thank you, Dr. Twardon.
Lee: [narrating] For that reason, I was reluctant to go.
[Peter welcomes Lee back home from the institution]
Peter: Are you happy to be home? I mean, are you 'happy' to be home?
Lee: I don't know.
Peter: I know what you mean.
[Lee see's her father at her sister's wedding]
Burt Holloway: You look so beautiful.
Lee: Thanks, Dad.
Lee: [Lee's father takes a drink of a beer] I thought you stopped.
Burt Holloway: [Lee's father holds his beer out to the side and hands it to Peter] Do you know how much we missed you, pumpkin?
Lee: [Lee's father hugs her] Well, I missed you too.
[Lee's father reaches his arm out for Peter to hand him the beer back]
[Lee holds up a purple mirror and practices the opening to her first job interview]
Lee: [Lee clears her throat] I have never had a job before, but I can assure you that I am very excited for this opportunity. Thank you. Oh, well, I don't have any references yet. But I think the Municipal Tax Office would be a wonderful place to begin... My career.
Lee: [Lee circles the job opening with her purple pen, reading] 'Secretary.'
[Lee meets Mr. Grey for the first time in his office]
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey responds a bit startled] Hi.
Lee: Are you the lawyer?
E. Edward Grey: Oh. Uh... Yes.
Lee: I'm sorry. I'll just come back later.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee turns to the door before stopping] No. No, stay.
[Lee smiles, turning around to face Mr. Grey]
[Mr. Grey asks Lee if she really wants the job before getting into the details]
E. Edward Grey: Do you really want to be a secretary, Lee?
Lee: Yes, I do.
E. Edward Grey: You scored higher than anyone I ever interviewed. You're really over-qualified for the job. You'd be bored to death.
Lee: I want to be bored.
[Mr. Grey tells Lee the details of what the secretary job pertains]
E. Edward Grey: All I need is a typist. Who can get to work on time and answer the phone.
Lee: I can do that.
E. Edward Grey: We only use typewriters here, not computers.
Lee: That's fine.
E. Edward Grey: It's very dull work.
Lee: I like dull work.
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey stares closely into Lee's face] There's something about you. You're... close-closed up tight. A wall.
Lee: I know.
E. Edward Grey: Do you ever loosen up?
Lee: I don't know.
E. Edward Grey: [the phone begins to ring] I'm not here.
[Lee meets Mr. Grey's paralegal in the bathroom of the offices]
Paralegal: So you're the new secretary?
Lee: [Lee pauses before asking] Excuse me. What exactly is a paralegal?
[Peter finds Lee at Mr. Grey's office with her hands to the desk]
Peter: What are you... what are you doing? Lee, I don't... I don't know what the deal is with...
Lee: I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Peter: I'm your fiancé, Lee!
Lee: You are trespassing. You are making an unwarranted incursion, a gradual or stealthy entrance into the square of another.
[Lee suggests to Mr. Grey that she can go look through the dumpster for his notes]
E. Edward Grey: I think I accidentally threw out my notes on the Feldman case. Maybe you could...
Lee: ...Go through the garbage?
E. Edward Grey: Yes, Lee. Thank you.
[Lee smiles at Mr. Grey before leaving his office, heading straight into the dumpster garbage to look for the notes]
[Lee narrates about the cutting incident that put her in the institution]
Lee: [narrating] When my accident happened, we were in the kitchen. And my back was to her. Upstairs, my dad was just leaving for work at Havis Department Store. Because there was a limited amount of time that my mom's back was turned... I slipped and cut too deep. I'm not sure how I could have misjudged. I've been doing it since seventh grade.
[Mr. Grey immediately interviews Lee about her personal life]
E. Edward Grey: Are you pregnant?
E. Edward Grey: Do you plan on getting pregnant?
Lee: [Lee chuckles] No.
E. Edward Grey: Are you living in an apartment?
Lee: A house.
E. Edward Grey: Alone?
Lee: With my parents.
E. Edward Grey: Siblings?
Lee: Well, my sister is going to live in the backyard in the pool house.
E. Edward Grey: Are you married?
E. Edward Grey: Have you ever won an award?
E. Edward Grey: What did you win an award in?
[Lee lays in her bathtub while going over her secretary response to answering the phone]
Lee: Hello. You have reached the office of Mr. E. Edward Grey. Please leave your message and the time you called, along with your phone number and the best time to reach you...
Lee: [Lee hesitates before smiling] And we... will get back to you as soon as possible. We.
Lee: [Lee smiles big before lowering her head under the water, whispering to herself] Secretary.
[Lee confronts her mother who's parked outside where she works]
Lee: Why are you here?
Joan Holloway: I'm just waiting for you, honey.
Lee: But I'm here for five more hours.
Joan Holloway: [Lee's mother smiles] I know.
[Lee shakes her head side-to-side]
[Peter talks to Lee while eating at the Laundromat]
Peter: Some people, right, have to wash something as soon as they've worn it. You know, for, like, half a day.
Peter: And then you got your more laid-back folk who just, you know, maybe they'll wash their stuff when it's dirty.
Lee: Which kind are you?
Peter: I'm the type of guy who wants to get married and have a kid.
Lee: I wash my clothes just when they're dirty.
[Lee tells Peter that he's different than when they first knew each other]
Lee: You're different than you were in high school, Peter.
Peter: I... I changed.
Lee: What happened?
Peter: I had a nervous breakdown.
Lee: [Lee smiles] Me, too. Sort of.
[Mr. Grey tells Lee about the several faults in her body language]
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey slams his book shut stopping Lee from leaving the office] Lee.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee stops and turns around] When people come into this office, you are a visual representation of my business. And the way you dress is disgusting.
Lee: [Lee looks down at her wardrobe] Uh... I'm sorry.
E. Edward Grey: You're tapping your toe all the time and playing with your hair. You're either going to have to wear a hairnet or stop playing with your hair.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee begins to walk back out, as she stops again without turning around] And another thing. Do you realize that you're always sniffling?
Lee: I... I'm sniffling?
E. Edward Grey: And what is with your tongue... when you're typing?
Lee: [Lee pauses before answering] I'm sorry. I didn't know I sniffled.
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey responds in a low tone] Well... you do.
[Mr. Grey tests Lee by pretending the phone is ringing]
E. Edward Grey: The phone is ringing.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee looks to the silent phone] Answer it.
Lee: I'm sorry...
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey makes the sound of a phone ringing] Brriinngg! Brriinngg! Brriinngg!
Lee: [Lee smiles] Oh.
[Lee talks to Peter about his underwear while washing clothes at the Laundromat]
Lee: I've read that if you wear that kind of underwear, that it squeezes... um, your things.
Peter: Balls? My grapes.
Lee: [Lee chuckles] Your grapes?
Lee: Your testicles! Your sperm gets squozen, and then you can't have babies, and I thought that you said you wanted to have babies. There you go, I said it.
Peter: [Peter stretches on his tighty whities, before he starts to throw them into the trash] To babies! To diapers. To diaper rash.
Peter: [Lee joins Peter as they both begin to throw his underwear in the trash] To breast-feeding. And to crying!
[Mr. Grey asks Lee if she's familiar with answering phones]
E. Edward Grey: Listen. You're a big girl. You can get a much bigger voice out of that tiny throat of yours.
E. Edward Grey: Tiny.
E. Edward Grey: Ms. Holloway. You told me when I hired you that you were used to answering phones.
Lee: [Lee chuckles] I am.
[Mr. Grey finally gets through to Lee on how to correctly answer the phones]
E. Edward Grey: The phone is ringing!
Lee: [Lee holds the phone up to her ear, speaking loud and clear] Hello. This is the office of Mr. E. Edward Grey!
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey begins to rapidly clap as Lee laughs to herself] You see? You see? You see? You see? That's showing a little spunk. After all, I'm not running a mortuary.
Lee: [Lee chuckles in her reply] No.
[Mr. Grey asks Lee about Peter and her having sex]
E. Edward Grey: Did you have a date recently?
E. Edward Grey: With whom did you have a date?
Lee: Um... Peter.
E. Edward Grey: Did you have sex?
E. Edward Grey: [Lee laughs shy to herself] No?
Lee: I don't know.
[Mr. Grey tells Lee that she will never cut herself again]
E. Edward Grey: I'm going to tell you something, Lee. Are you ready to listen?
E. Edward Grey: Are you listening?
E. Edward Grey: [Lee silently nods] You will never, ever cut yourself again. Do you understand? Have I made that perfectly clear. You're over that now. It's in the past.
Lee: [Lee nods whispering] Yes.
E. Edward Grey: ...Ever again.
E. Edward Grey: Now, you know what I want you to do? I want you to leave work early. You're a big girl, a grown woman. Your mother doesn't need to pick you up everyday. I want you to take a nice, walk, home in the fresh air. Because you require relief. Because you won't be doing that anymore. Will you?
Lee: [Lee smiles answering] Yes, sir.
[Lee walks home through the park for the first time]
Lee: [narrating] I took a shortcut through Hawkins Park, and it was as if I'd never taken a walk by myself before. And when I thought about it, I realized I probably never had taken a walk alone. But because he had given me the permission to do this, because he insisted on it. I felt held by him as I walked alone. I felt he was with me. At the same time, I was feeling something was growing in Mr. Grey. An intimate tendril creeping from one of his darker areas, nursed on the feeling that he had discovered something about me. The next day, I didn't even bring my cuticle scissors and my iodine. But I did make another typing mistake.
[Lee walks into Mr. Grey's office with the typo letter]
E. Edward Grey: Put the letter on my desk.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee walks to Mr. Grey's desk as he closes his office door] Now, I want you to bend over the desk so that you're looking directly at it. Get your face very close to the letter. And read the letter.
Lee: Um, I don't understand.
E. Edward Grey: There's nothing to understand. Put your elbows on the desk. Bend over, get your face close to the letter, and read it aloud.
[Lee reads relationship advice from her Cosmo Magazine]
Lee: [narrating] Cosmo's advice for getting your man to share his feelings more intimately is to first try some breezy humor. Whatever you do, don't jump too quickly into relationship talk.
[Lee reads the typo letter to Mr. Grey as he disciplines her in his office]
Lee: [Reading while bent forward] 'Dear Mr. Garvey, I'm grateful to you for referring... '
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey slaps Lee in the butt, as she turns her head back to look at him] Continue.
E. Edward Grey: Ms. Holloway, read.
Lee: [Lee continues to read] 'For referring me to your case.'
Lee: [Mr. Grey slaps Lee harder in the butt] 'The subject of animal captivity has been of interest to me for quite a while. And my secretary has prepared research material...
Lee: [Mr. Grey slaps again] That I think you'll find illuminating. If you would be so kind...
Lee: [Mr. Grey slaps again] As to send me the June 5th letter of which we spoke, my associates and I will review it immediately.'
Lee: [Mr. Grey slaps again] 'Please feel free to call me at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely, E...
Lee: [Mr. Grey slaps again as Lee breathes out] Edward Grey.'
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey quietly says] Read it again.
Lee: [Lee hesitates before reading] 'Dear Mr. Garvey... '
Lee: [Mr. Grey smacks Lee's butt even harder, now repeatedly] Ohh!
Lee: [Mr. Grey now smacks on all sides of Lee's butt, as Lee tries to read] 'I'm grateful to you for referring me to your case. The subject of animal captivity has been of interest to me... for quite a while.
Lee: [Lee is unable to read as Mr. Grey continues, when Mr. Grey unexpectedly falls over Lee's backside, laying his hand on the desk beside hers] And my secretary has prepared research material... That I think you'll find illuminating.'
[Lee finally breathes out, rolling her pinky finger out to wrap around Mr. Grey's index finger]
[Lee sits by the pool as one of her sister's friends talks about sexual harassment]
Lee: My lawyer's representing a woman who's suing her boss for sexual harassment.
Jessica: Is he a good lawyer?
Lee: [Lee closes her eyes and moans] He's the best.
Lee's Sister: [Lee's sister jokes back by repeating] 'He's the best.'
[Lee wonders to herself if she's becoming just a regular secretary]
Lee: [narrating] After he turned me away from his house, he put me back at my old desk, and he just stopped doing it. He threw out all his red pens. I kept making typos, but he just treated me like a regular old secretary. After a while, I began to wonder if that's all I was.
[Lee makes a comment about Mr. Grey's tie]
Lee: That's a pretty tie. But I guess you won't be golfing today.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee chuckles to herself] What?
Lee: Your tie. It has golfers on it.
E. Edward Grey: [Lee smiles as Mr. Grey looks down at his tie] Right.
[Mr. Grey calls Lee into his office by the speaker phone]
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey in a low tone on the speaker phone] Ms. Holloway.
Lee: Yes, Mr. Grey?
E. Edward Grey: Come into my office.
Lee: [Lee looks over to the waiting room as Mr. Marvel watches] But Mr. Marvel is waiting.
E. Edward Grey: Ms. Holloway, come into my office.
Lee: Yes, sir.
Lee: [Lee smiles with her eyes closed, whispering] Finally.
[Mr. Grey stands behind Lee and asks her to pull up her skirt]
E. Edward Grey: Now, pull up your skirt.
E. Edward Grey: You're not worried that I'm going to fuck you, are you? I'm not interested in that, not in the least. Now, pull up your skirt.
[Lee touches herself in the bathroom stall at work, as the paralegal listens from the next stall over]
Lee: [Lee wipes off Mr. Grey's sperm from her back, whispering] Mr. Grey.
Lee: [Lee starts to touch herself, looking at the typo letter] Cock. Place your prick in my mouth. Screw me!
Lee: [Lee closes her eyes, getting closer] Mayonnaise. Orchid. Oh, Mr. Grey!
Lee: [Lee finishes, smiling as she moans out] Edward.
[Lee sits by herself at lunch, listening on her headphones to a self-help tape]
Tape Recording: [Lee listens to the Richard Arevalos self-tape titled, How To Come Out A Dominant/Submissive] Most people think the best way to live is to run from pain. But a much more joyful life embraces the entire spectrum of human feeling. If we can fully experience pain, as well as pleasure, we can live a much deeper and more meaningful life.'
[Lee talks about her future without Mr. Grey]
Lee: [narrating] I opened the envelope the second I got home. It was a check for $680. More than he actually owed me. It occurred to me to tear up the check, but I didn't. I felt like I was doing the right thing. And I didn't tell anybody about any of it. I pretended to go to work as usual, and watched his office from across the street. He hired a new girl and changed the locks on the doors. There was just nothing for me to do about it. My doctor at the institution once said, 'Every journey begins with the first step.' So I decided it was time to meet someone new.
Lee: [narrating] There was one who tried to grab and pinch my nipples before we even made it to his car.
Lee: [Lee shakes the hand of the First Date man] Hi.
Lee: [narrating] Another guy kept ordering me to pee on his patio, and when I refused, he said...
Second Date: [the Second Date man asks Lee] I thought you were a masochist?
Lee: [narrating] Then there was the one who liked being tied to a gas stove while the burners were on full blast, and I had to throw tomatoes at him.
Tomato Date: [the Tomato Date man tells Lee while tied up covered in tomatoes] Thank you!
Lee: [narrating] For a while I just stopped trying and stayed at home, helping dad adjust to his new sobriety. Until one day, out of the blue, Peter proposed marriage to me in the basement of JCPenney's. I think I said yes because I didn't know what else to do.
[Lee runs in to Mr. Grey's office in a wedding dress]
Lee: I have something to say to you.
E. Edward Grey: Lee.
Lee: I love you.
E. Edward Grey: Lee, you should not be here.
Lee: I love you.
E. Edward Grey: I'm sorry, but I don't believe that to be true.
Lee: Well, it is true. It is.
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey tries to walk Lee out] This matter was resolved when I received your cancelled severance check.
Lee: [Lee pulls her arm away] I love you.
[Lee talks to Mr. Grey as he kisses her naked body]
Lee: Where did you go to high school? What was your mother like? What was her name? What did it say under your senior yearbook? Who was your first love? When did your heart first get broken? Where were you born?
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey brings his lips up to hers before kissing her] Des Moines, Iowa.
Lee: [narrating] All our activities melted into an everyday sort of life until we looked like any other couple you would see.
E. Edward Grey: [Mr. Grey teaches Lee how to make a bed] Turn that over, yes. Just pull it tight. Now, these pillows like to be stacked. Largest to smallest.
Lee: [narrating] We had a June wedding, by ourselves at the Justice of the Peace.
Lee: [narrating, as we see the two make love outside] Then, we honeymooned in the mountains. We only had the weekend because Edward had to get back to work.