Memorable quotes for
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) More at IMDbPro »

Principal Jindraike: you may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey, you're wrong, I don't encourage it, I excourage it.
Max: Excourage, sir?
Principal Jindraike: It means the opposite of encourage, look it up.

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Principal Jindraike: This is completely without precedent, not only that, but it's never happened before!

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Principal Jindraike: You're a smart little boy, but so am I!

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Principal Jindraike: What do you want me to do? Do you want me to give my car to the smelly goat?
Max: Goats don't drive, sir.
Principal Jindraike: Too bad, ha ha, the smelly goat will never get my car!

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Principal Jindraike: CEASE!

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[Jindraike and Crazy Legs arrive at the cafetira]
Principal Jindraike: Please believe me when I tell you... this is my gift to you.
[students at the cafetira are still throwing food at each other and the picture of Crazy Legs]
Principal Jindraike: CEASE!
[students finally stop throwing food and Jindraike tries finding out what happened around the cafetira, then turns around and looks at Crazy Legs]
Principal Jindraike: Sir, I assure you, this behavior... is utterly without precedent. Plus, it never happened before. Who? Who started this? If the culprit does not step forward... this instant... swift and horrible retribution... awaits each and every one of you.
[the mokney walks jumps on Jindraike's back and his face is covered with mashed potatoes and gravy]
Supt. Bobby 'Crazy Legs' Knebworth: This place is nuts.
Principal Jindraike: Crazy Legs! Wait!
[Crazy Legs leaves the school and the monkey continues jumping on Jindraike's back]

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Max: See you bassoon.

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6 Year Old Troy: McGoogle ate Max's daddy! Ahh!

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Max: [talking to Jindraike with voiceover effect and pretending to do kung fu] I do not fear your dark powers, bald one.

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[gets hit by ice cream from the evil ice cream man]
Tony Hawk: Ohh, that ice cream man sure is evil.

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[Troy and Dobbs are surrounded by nerds]
Troy McGinty: I'm so scared.
Megan: You should be. We're taking back our school.
Robe: Yeah. No more being pushed around. No more being stepped on. No more Mr. Not-Nice-Guy.
Slav #1: Your reign of terror over the student body has come to an abrupt halt!
[kids are surprised, until "slav" resumes fake accent]
Slav #1: Yes, please.

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Robe: [Evil Ice Cream Man's supply is melting] Hey, can I try the soup?

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Principal Jindraike: [on loud speaker] ATTENTION, STUDENTS!
[students laugh]
Principal Jindraike: It's because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate Max Keeble. The following extracurricular activities are now suspended: art, music, P.E... fun! Suspended, discontinued, defunct!
Girl at Class: Great. Your boyfriend Max Keeble just got us hosed.
Jenna: He's just my paperboy. I never really liked him.
Principal Jindraike: [teachers laugh, then Jindraike turns around and sees the fake Max Keeble with a peace sign] Keeble!

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School Nurse: Is there a problem with something... or... somebody?
Dobbs: KEEBLE!
Principal Jindraike: Keeble.
Troy McGinty: ...Keeble.

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Dobbs: [to Max when they are about to bully him] You know how doctors say, "This isn't gonna hurt a bit"? Well, I'm not a doctor, and neither is McGinty here.
Troy McGinty: He's right.
[looks straight to Max closely]
Troy McGinty: I'm not a doctor.
Dobbs: [Shaking his hands like he's rapping] Yeeah!

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Evil Ice Cream Man: [He jumps from his ice cream truck, and carries two ice cream scoopers, and starts talking as if he is in the old chinese movies] I will defeat you, with my complicated fighting move.
Max: [the words don't match his mouth] We shall see whose kung fu is superior! HAH!

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Janitor: Any kid can make a mess. It takes a man to clean it up.

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Evil Ice Cream Man: [pulls in front of his bike] We meet again paperboy.
[laughs]
Max: [narrating] Okay, Evil Ice Cream man - You're probably wondering.
[Max throws a paper at the Evil Ice Cream Man and pedals off with the Evil Ice Cream Man Speeding behind him]
Max: Well, I found a cockroach in my snowcone, my Mom called the Health department and he got nailed. He's been trying to nail me ever since.
Evil Ice Cream Man: [as a Police man on a motorcycle follows him] Dang, the Fuzz! I'll be back paperboy!
[Cop walks up]
Evil Ice Cream Man: Hello officer... Snickerdoddle?

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Principal Jindraike: Stop smiling! This isn't a happy school.

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[waiting for Crazy Legs to arrive at the school]
Principal Jindraike: Come on, you idiot.
[instead, Crazy Legs has just arrived]
Principal Jindraike: He's coming! He's coming!
Principal Jindraike: [as he approaches the band] Straighten up, straighten up. Better. Ready? And...
Supt. Bobby 'Crazy Legs' Knebworth: [the band then begins playing while Jindraike gets excited to see Crazy Legs] Oh, at last! At last! The moment we've all been waiting for. Crazy Legs. You look fit.
Supt. Bobby 'Crazy Legs' Knebworth: Elliot. It's been too long.
Principal Jindraike: I agree completely. Slip me that biscuit. Ooh, that's a hot one. OK, smile!
[the photographers take a picture of Jindraike smiling while shaking hands with Crazy Legs]

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Troy McGinty: I pound on kids. That's what I do, that's what I do! You know what they call me up there?
[the school nurse nods her head no]
Troy McGinty: The MacGoogler.
[Troy then sobs]
School Nurse: Troy, easy. Now, I'd like to take you through a childhood regression process. It may bring up some unpleasant memories... but I think you'll find it helpful in the end. All righty?
Troy McGinty: Mmm-hmm.
School Nurse: [reveals Troy the MacGoogles doll] Now, give Mr. MacGoogles a hug.
Troy McGinty: [acting frightened] Aah! Aah! He's gonna eat me!
[then sobs again]
School Nurse: We've got some work to do.

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Entire Class: [after Troy shows who his latest victim will be] Freak with Robe?
Robe: [From behind glass] Help! Help! Let me out! let me out!
Max: [Lets Robe out of the barrier] Now, he's a little claustrophobic, so eh might...
[watches Robe throw up]
Max: Hurl!
Robe: What a waste of a perfectly good chili omelet...
[continues throwing up]

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