The Job (2001–2002)
Arrested Criminal: [Mike pulls a taxi driver out of a his cab after a wise remark and proceeds to beat the hell out of him.] Damn! Is your partner crazy?
Terrence 'Pip' Phillips: No, he just quit smoking.
Jan Fendrich: So what is it about the idea of two women having sex that's such a turn on for guys?
Mike McNeill: Well, it's like the idea of one woman having sex, only... it's two.
Jan Fendrich: Oh, well, thanks for clearing that up.
Mike McNeill: What the hell is this?
Frank: It's coffee. Almond Maple Roast.
Mike McNeil: When did Baskin-Robbins start making coffee? Echhh.
Mike McNeil: Thank you for your time.
Restaurant employee: Are you really a cop?
Mike McNeil: Yeah.
Restaurant employee: So, you're like, in the "Bird Homicide" department.
[Mike begins to walk away]
Restaurant employee: See ya later, bird detective!
Mike McNeil: Ok, you want to know why I'm investigating this? This whole bird poisoning thing, it's a part of a much bigger conspiracy. Can you keep a secret?
Restaurant employee: Yeah, sure.
Mike McNeil: That is the biggest zit I've seen in my entire life.