In the year 3000 BC an illegitimate son is born to Queen Lostris and the brave warrior Tanus. Her devoted eunuch Taita, a loyal servant, takes the baby boy and places him in a basket on the...
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Set against the background of South Africa's emerald coast and diamond mines, Diamond Hunters traces the torrid fortunes of a family unable to forgive and forget. Johnny, a successful ... See full summary »
Sean Patrick Flanery,
During World War One a British aristocrat, an American entrepreneur and the latter's attractive young daughter, set out to destroy a German battle-cruiser which is awaiting repairs in an inlet just off Zanzibar.
In the year 3000 BC an illegitimate son is born to Queen Lostris and the brave warrior Tanus. Her devoted eunuch Taita, a loyal servant, takes the baby boy and places him in a basket on the Nile. Five thousand years later, during our time, famous archaeologist Duraid al Simma and his wife Royan discover Queen Lostris's grave at the same spot, with ten scrolls inside it resembling a form of diary. The seventh scroll, which contains directions to Mamose's magnificent tomb with the legendary treasure, disappears without trace. Soon afterwards the couple adopt an unusual boy who displays an almost magical urge to be close to the Nile, so they name him after the river god Hapi. It is only ten years later that Taita's secret is almost solved. Fanatical art thief Schiller is also very curious about the information, and tries to track down more with the aid of his sidekick Boris. Whe Duraid dies during a struggle for possession of the scroll, Hapi and his mother turn to Nick Harper, an old ... Written by
It takes a lot of hard work to make a movie good, but it might take even more work to make one bad - really bad. In this gem everyone succeeds.
Let's not talk about plot holes here. Let's talk about craters instead. Ravines. And let's please talk about acting - and directing. The only halfway decent acting performance is by the colonel - or was it a general? And as for his name? It's not given here, so who knows? Credit for his piece de resistance is lost forever.
Roy Scheider? Why does he always get these horrible parts? Either he just can't land the good roles or he has terrible taste, and in this turkey he lands another good one and unless he's absolutely desperate for work (which the poor guy might be) he has terrible taste. Playing a heavy named - Grant Schiller? Schiller is German; Grant is not. Who comes up with these stupid names? Oh that's right: the singularly lacklustre Kevin Connor who has not a single impressive credit to his CV and also commits the ultimate insult of directing - or actually refraining from directing.
The absolute worst acting in the movie is by Katrina Gibson who shouldn't even be allowed on a sound stage to pluck litter. According to the IMDb, Gibson's been in an episode of Judging Amy. That must be the worst episode ever in that series.
Rounding everything out: you can't really have a bad bad movie unless the music is really stupid and annoying, but fortunately Canadian McCauley comes through with flying colours.
This one might work on slow kids in the five years of age range but hardly on anyone else. It will bore ten year olds and get them climbing the walls and screaming in protest.
Strangely we watched this one all through to the end. We were perversely fascinated by it, mostly and primarily because it was so bad. But recommend it to anyone? Why?
It takes a lot of work to make a bad movie, and this one succeeds in all possible ways. And it only makes you appreciate all the more how much work it takes to make a good movie.
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