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Punch-Drunk Love (2002) Poster

Quotes

Barry: I don't know if there is anything wrong because I don't know how other people are.

Barry: I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

Barry: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna fuckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty.

Lena: I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.

[pause]

Barry: OK. This is funny. This is nice.

Dean Trumbell: SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up; will you SHUTUP SHUTUP! SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUTUP... SHUTUP! NOW

[beat]

Dean Trumbell: Are you threatening me, dick?

Barry: Why don-...

[double beat]

Barry: Y' GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Dean Trumbell: oh y-...

[clears throat angrily]

Dean Trumbell: yo-... FUCK

[lowers tone]

Dean Trumbell: did you just saaay go fuck myself?

Barry: [nervously] ... yes, i did

Dean Trumbell: That wasn't good, you're DEAD!

Barry: Pudding...

Barry: And bye-bye. And bye-bye, you fuckin'... And bye-bye! You stupid motherfucker...

Barry: I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me?

Walter: Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could give you?

Lena: Oh... I'm sorry... was that like a secret pudding?

Barry: I have to get more pudding for this trip to Hawaii. As I just said that out loud I realize it sounded a little strange but it's not.

[Barry looks around... ]

Barry: Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together and put this promotion: If you buy any 10 Healthy Choice products, they will reward you with 500 frequent flier miles; with this special coupon, they'll up it to 1,000 miles. So, I think they are trying to push their teriyaki chicken which is $1.79, but I went to the supermarket and I looked around and I saw that they had pudding... for 25ยข a cup... comes in packages of four. But insanely... the barcodes... are on the individual cups! So, quarter a cup, say you bought $2.50 worth. That's worth 500... with the coupon it's 1,000 miles. It's a marketing mistake but I'm taking advantage of it. If you were to spend $3,000, that would get you a million frequent flier miles. You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life.

Lena: You... you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flier miles?

Barry: It really looks like Hawaii here.

Barry: I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.

Barry: [out of breath to his love Lena] Lena. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I left you at the hospital. I called a phone-sex line... I called a phone-sex line before I met you, and four blond brothers came after me and they hurt you, and I'm sorry. Then I had to leave again because I wanted to make sure you never got hurt again. And I have a lot of puddings, and in six to eight weeks it can be redeemed. So if you could just give me that much time, I think I can get enough mileage to go with you wherever you go if you have to travel for your work. Because I don't ever want to be anywhere without you. So could you just let me redeem the mileage?

Barry: My sister's a liar. I have to go to the bathroom.

Dean Trumbell: Now get the fuck out of here, pervert!

Barry: Didn't I warn you?

Dean Trumbell: Th... That's that!

Restaurant Manager: Sir, the bathroom was just torn apart.

Barry: [nervously] Yeah.

Restaurant Manager: Did you do it?

Barry: No.

Restaurant Manager: You didn't just smash up the bathroom?

Barry: No.

Restaurant Manager: Well, who did?

Barry: [pretends to think] I don't know.

Restaurant Manager: Sir, your hand is bleeding.

Barry: I cut myself.

Restaurant Manager: How?

Barry: On my knife.

[beat]

Barry: What? What?

Restaurant Manager: Sir, your hand is bleeding.

Barry: I know.

Restaurant Manager: I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Barry: Yeah, but I didn't do anything.

Restaurant Manager: Sir, I've got no way to prove you've smashed up the bathroom.

Barry: I didn't do that. I didn't.

Restaurant Manager: Look, I'm gonna have to ask you to go.

Barry: Okay, I didn't...

Restaurant Manager: I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Barry: All right, please don't do this to me.

Restaurant Manager: Sir, I'm gonna call the police.

Barry: All right. Look, can I just stay?

Restaurant Manager: Sir, I'm gonna crack your fucking head open. Get out of here.

Barry: At that restaurant, I beat up the bathroom. I'm sorry.

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Barry: Ummm, let's just... keep it between you and I, if that's possible.

Lena: Sure, Sure...

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Barry: I didn't do anything. I'm a nice man. I mind my own business. So you tell me 'that's that' before I beat the hell from you. I have so much strength in me you have no idea. I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine. I would say 'that's that', Mattress Man.

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Barry: I know... yes...

Lena: That's insane.

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Barry: I'm guessing it was a mistake... but... I'm taking advantage of it while it's offered. Who knows how long it'll last...

[once]

Barry: too many people start doing it...

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Barry: Teryaki chicken. Tery... aki chicken. Soup? Soup... soup... Chicken noodle...? Cookies. Pudding. PUDDING!

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Barry: Is this confidential?

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Barry: You can go to places in the world with pudding. That's funny.

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Lena: People are just crazy in this world, I think.

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Lance: The chair broke!

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Anna: You strokin' yet?

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[last lines]

Lena: So here we go.

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Restaurant Manager: I'm gonna crack your fucking skull.

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Anna: You cancelled your credit card. I need you not to cancel your credit card and I need you to up your limit.

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Barry: Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna go out of town. I'm gonna go out of town for two days.

Lance: Where are you going, Barry?

Barry: I have to go to Hawaii, but you can't tell my sisters.

Lance: [overlapping] You're going to Hawaii?

Barry: Yeah, don't tell my sisters though.

Lance: [overlapping] That's so wonderful, you're going to Hawaii!

Barry: [overlapping] Just make sure you don't tell my sisters.

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Lena: I'm going to Hawaii on Friday.

Barry: [excited] Hawaii? I was thinking about going there!

Lena: [excited] Really?

Barry: [excited] I was thinking about going there on business!

Lena: [excited] Well, if YOU're gonna go...

Barry: [serious] I'm probably not gonna go though...

Lena: Oh, that's... that's too bad, cause... it's SO great over there, and if you were there we could say... hello to each other or something...

Barry: [in a single breath] Yes-that-would-be-great-but-I'm-not-exactly-sure-I-have-so-much-going-on-here-a-lot-depends-on-this-thing-if-it-happens-I-won't-be-able-to-go-but-if-it-doesn't-happen-I-might-be-able-to... I probably won't though.

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[first lines]

Barry: Yes, I'm still on hold.

Phone Rep: And what was this?

Barry: I'm looking at your advertisement for the airline promotion and giveaway.

Phone Rep: Ah, the 10 for 1 mile plan...

Barry: Yeah, it's hard to understand, because it says "in addition to". But I can't exactly understand in addition to what? Because there's actually nothing to add to.

Phone Rep: I think that's a typo then.h

Barry: Okay, so just to clarify - I'm sorry - 10 purchases of any of your healthy choice products equals 500 miles, and with the coupon, the same purchase would value 1000 miles?

Phone Rep: That's it.

Barry: Well, do you realize that the monetary value of this promotion and the prizes is potentially worth more than the purchases?

Phone Rep: I don't know.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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