Walking Shadow (2001 TV Movie)
Spenser: Because you're on the board of the Port City Theater, and because the director thinks he's being stalked, I have to endure two hours of lousy drama?
Susan Silverman: No. Because Jimmy Christopholous is a friend, because you are my honey, because sleuthing is your business, and because you will enjoy the ultimate theater party for two this evening.
Susan Silverman: Do you know how much this means to me?
Spenser: [pause] : Damn!
Susan Silverman: I'll double your usual fee.
Spenser: Remind me, what is my usual fee?
Susan Silverman: Two nights of ecstasy.
Spenser: So double would be four. Payable in thirty days?
Susan Silverman: I'll halve the time. Four nights of ecstasy in two weeks. Deal?
Susan Silverman: Sucker.
Spenser: What, am I charging enough?
Susan Silverman: You're charging enough... but you'd've gotten it anyway.
Spenser: I know.
Spenser: Hey, I'm willing to tell you all I know.
Chief DeSpain: You haven't told me squat.
Spenser: True, but it's all I know.
Chief DeSpain: Well, you learn anything, you dash right on in and tell us about it. 'Cause we're fightin' crime up here, day and night.
Jocelyn Colby: [meeting Spenser] Way to go, Susan! Hunk city!
Spenser: You think she has designs on me sexually?
Susan Silverman: Almost certainly.
Spenser: Because I'm hunk city?
Susan Silverman: Because you're male.
Spenser: This may not be a routine murder. Most murders don't happen in a crowded theater.
Spenser: So the killing might be connected to the play, so I need someone to... tell me what the play was about.
Lou Montana: Ahem. Lou Montana. I directed. And, uh, your question is absurd.
Spenser: No; an actor getting shot on stage wearing tights while singing "Land of Love" is absurd.
Lou Montana: Ah. And what was your response to the play?
Spenser: I found it a pretentious mishmash about appearance and reality.
Lou Montana: Well, art isn't "about"
[makes air quotes]
Lou Montana: anything. It *is* movement and speech in space and time.
Spenser: Thank you!
Lou Montana: I didn't expect you'd understand.
Spenser: Me either.
Spenser: Could you arrange for me to have lunch with her?
Susan Silverman: I'm not sure she'd be willing to meet with you.
Spenser: Mention to her about me being hunk city!
Susan Silverman: That ought to do it.
Spenser: [narrating] Rikki Wu was sex. She was spoiled, self-centered, shallow, maybe cruel, certainly careless about other people. But she was sex.
Lonnie Wu: It is unseemly for her to be having lunch with a lo fan.
Spenser: Is "lo fan" a term of racial endearment?
Lonnie Wu: It means "barbarian". Someone who is not Chinese.
Spenser: So you don't fully subscribe to the melting-pot theory?
Lonnie Wu: I'm not here to make small talk. It would be best if you stayed out of Port City.
Spenser: Is it okay if I retain my U.S. citizenship?
Lonnie Wu: What you choose to do outside of Port City is your business. But if you choose to come back, we will make it our business, and I will not be able to protect you.
Spenser: Protect me from whom?
Lonnie Wu: From me.